Help, I need some advice

[daniella]

I just wrote a whole thing on here! And I went to post it & it did not post, directed me to the login page and I lost everything I had just written. So I am writing it again..
I have a wonderful boyfriend, he is ambitious, sweet, &he can always make me smile. We have been living together over 6 months and everything is going great, except the finances,(sometimes) but who isn't having financial problems these days? I am very happy with him, but sometimes, specifically the last couple weeks, it has been a little hard.. But I feel that if we get through this hard time, it will make us so much stronger.
The dilemma: An old friend called me. We engaged in what I thought to be a friendly converstation. And he asked me if he was marriage material and I answered yes. To later find out, he wants me to marry him. We have been friends for quite a while and I did have feelings for him. I knew he had feelings for me also, but I wasn't sure if our goals were the same. And they just remained silent questions... We never discussed how we felt about eachother. And now he just comes into my life wanting a marriage and before, I didn't even want to get married... Until I met my boyfriend because I feel so strongly for him that he changed my mind and opened me up to a world of new ideas; like marriage. But this guy(my friend) just made everything seem like a wonderful fairytale; we would get married and travel for a year and come home and start a family. And it's a wonderful idea, I am just not sure what to do. This guy is very put together and successful and has his career going already. My boyfriend has possibilities and ambitions but I am not sure when we will, if ever, start our lives together. If that makes sense...
Do I stay with my boyfriend, who does make me happy?
Or do I go with a 'crush' and live a proposed fairytale?

[VincenzoG91]

Unless your old friend is sitting on a big pile of money, the fairy tale is just that, a fairy tale. Average cost of a wedding these days: $28,000. Cost for two people to travel the world for a year: depends a lot on where you go and how you live, but lets say at least $70,000. Plus lost income for a year of unemployment for the two of you: depends on your paychecks, but let's say at least $50,000. Average cost of pre-natal care and delivery of one baby: $20,000.

So, does your fairy tale friend have $168,000 available to spend in the next two years? It doesn't sound like you have money to spare.

Get real. This guy is an irresponsible dreamer who will mess up your life if you let him. Don't let him. Stay with your boyfriend who actually makes you happy, don't run off and get married to the friend that you've never even dated.

[Syph]

Be a realist. Your 'crush' is the equivalent of a honeymoon, unless you love him stay with your boyfriend.

Your boyfriend would be utterly destroyed that you left him to get married purely on a lust based level. However, you strike me as looking for adventure rather than being stable. It is apparent in the minds of women that they crave interesting men over stable men. Go with your gut and live with guilt or stay with your heart and regret.

[xxazurexx]

An old friend calls you, asks if he is marriage material, then proceeds to ask you to marry him?? Just like that?

He sounds a bit 'cuckoo' to me...

Stick with the bf. Least you know it's 'real' and for 'real'.

[Gigabitch]

I think you should tell your friend to bugger off. He knows you're with someone and yet he proposed to you? He clearly has no respect for commitment.

[daniella]

Thank you guys so much! I shouldn't have even second guessed my relationship!

[warriormaiden]

I'm with everyone. Yeah, that sounds DELIGHTFUL(come on, a whole year of blissful travel with a man you love to hang out with, and who is articulate, and smart, and handsome, and has money, and has a career, who wouldn't find that totally and utterly awesome!) but it's just a fantasy. I wouldn't take stock in anything your friend tells you. Stick with your boyfriend. At leasts it's stable.