Girlfriend on vacation and I am worried, need some advice please

[Joe17]

I dont know if I am paranoid or not but I have been dating my girlfriend for 1.5 years now, We both love each other very much and there isn't one thing we wouldn't do for each other. We are each other's best friend, sure we have had our bumps but who hasn't. This is my first real true gf and only 2nd person I have slept with, pretty surprising. I am 23 and she is 20, we met in college class and we live literally 1 minute from each other. I hardly spend time with my friends and she hardly spends time with her friends because we just want to be with each other. The way we met was pretty much like it was meant to be.. We didn't talk in that class until halfway through the semester. The class was only once a week and I am the person who is always 15minutes early and i sit towards the front while she always sat in the back. But one day my brother got into a car accident and that made me late for class (of all the days and times of the week it just happened to be right at that moment) that day and when i got there the only seat open was the seat next to her. She started convo asked for my facebook and so on. The following week we talked again and she asked if I could hold a parking spot for her, so I said sure Ill wait for you to bring your car around, well to tell you the truth there was plenty of spots left so she didn't need my spot but something told me to wait for her to show up anyway just out of respect. She was shocked to see I drove the same car as her brother and she had the same make as me she then said we need to hang out soon. Later in the week we hung out and like a week later I asked her to be my girlfriend. She is pretty attractive as well so thats another thing. She wanted a promise ring and I bought that for her a few weeks ago, and she wears it on her engagement finger.

Now she went on vacation yesterday with her family to cancun. She went with her mom, brother, and sister. She said her and her brother were going to senor frogs one of the nights and I know how crazy it is over there and i am just worried she will do something stupid. Her brother likes me too but he has cheated on his girlfriend in the past and his sister thinks thats horrible and wrong but hasn't told his gf at all. I am hoping when they go together people will think they are bf/gf. I talked to her before and told her i trust her and told her I was scared because i didn't want anything to happen that would ruin our wonderful relationship. She said she wouldn't do anything and that she promised me everything would be ok. But the temptations that are over there scare the living hell out of me. Since we have been together she went to aruba and the atlantis in bahamas and everything was good, well to my knowledge anyway. Even if something happened in cancun I am not sure if she would tell me or not because she knows I would be done with her so if she did she probably wouldn't tell me. Shes told me in the past she couldn't cheat on me because she would feel guilty about it. I know I am suppose to trust her but I am always wondering.

I have no reason NOT to trust her because she has been faithful, but her bf before me she cheated on 4 times, she claims the kid was a loser didn't respect her they dated for like 9 months so she was dating other people to move on from him and those 4 times she cheated was just kissing, and the 4th time was with me, she told me she was single. Her parents hated her previous bf, but they love me to death.

We talked on her other vacations but racked up a massive cell phone bill from texting and her mom was pissed, and in cancun i can send her texts for free which i have done but it costs 50 cents for every message she sends me. She has texted me once so far she left tuesday and comes back friday

We had a little argument about a week ago and she was mad but she was over it, she also said that she needs this vacation to get away from everyday life and just relax since last one she went on was about a year ago. Between work and school and the argument we got into she's like I just need to get away so I can clear my mind of everyday life, and fact she was on PMSing at beginning of the week to may had added more stress.

I talked to one of my good friends who ive known for 6 years, he has had his fair share of relationships and I usually ask him when im in doubt about something and he is usually right 9 times out of 10. He said he doesn't believe she would cheat on me, but he said anything can happen so you can't rule it out. He has been to cancun himself and he says its pretty wild there especially now since colleges done so alot of kids going to party after graduation.

I have hardly slept the past 2 nights, I don't work so its hard for me to kill time, the only thing i do during the day is go to the gym and fool around with the stock market, so it is kind of hard to kill time. I have no motivation to get out and do something else or go out with my friends or whatever

I know girls say they will never do anything and that they love you and in the end they do stuff anyway.

Any advice from you women/girls out there?

[Alvy]

Take her word for it. Worst case, she does cheat, breaks down a few months later and tells you, in which case you don't have to worry about spending more time with a person who has no self-control. Or she cheats, keeps it a secret and you either find out or you don't - either way, it'll eat at you and you'll suspect her of cheating whenever she goes out with her friends. Which will lead to petty arguments, which will lead to large arguments, which will lead to a messy break up. Best case, she's smart and loyal enough to not fool around with a stranger and you have yourself a great partner. Watch her behaviour when she comes back. If she's bad at hiding secrets, you'll definitely notice a change.

[YSC]

I stopped reading after you mentioned she was with her family.

I think you are being a little paranoid. I am pretty sure she won't do anything stupid if she was with her family unless she is just a straight up wh*re. If she was going out with a bunch of girls from college or like a sorority then maybe I would be a LITTLE worried but c'mon man, try not to think about it and just go out and enjoy your days with out her.

I was in a similar position as you... My current gf and pretty much my first REAL gf, we have been dating for a year and one month. There was a day where I got so paranoid I kept bothering her with questions and she got pissed at me and caused a big arguement. If you trust her, then trust her. She will love you more for it. Think of it this way, when you go out with your buddies or family, would YOU want her to be all over your back asking where you are every minute of the day? I sure as hell don't.

On days when my girlfriend is at work or hanging out with her friends I actually enjoy the time I am alone to get things done or just relax with my friends. You're young, enjoy your life, she won't leave you if you truly love each other.

oh and sorry I know this is only a female only section lol but I just wanted to give my input.

[xxazurexx]

I stopped reading when you said she gave up her friends, you gave up yours so you could be together...

You sound very insecure, so does she.

Going on the way you both are, the relationship is doomed anyway...sorry

[Gigabitch]

If she really wants to get into trouble, she doesn't need to go to Senor Frogs to do it. She could cheat on you right there at home. Either you trust her or you don't. Mexico shouldn't change that.

[doppelgaenger]

I agree with what Gigabitch said.

Besides, Mexico is not the place for a woman to have an affair, lol. They'd put a burrito in her ass.

[Joe17]

I stopped reading after you mentioned she was with her family.

I think you are being a little paranoid. I am pretty sure she won't do anything stupid if she was with her family unless she is just a straight up wh*re. If she was going out with a bunch of girls from college or like a sorority then maybe I would be a LITTLE worried but c'mon man, try not to think about it and just go out and enjoy your days with out her.

I was in a similar position as you... My current gf and pretty much my first REAL gf, we have been dating for a year and one month. There was a day where I got so paranoid I kept bothering her with questions and she got pissed at me and caused a big arguement. If you trust her, then trust her. She will love you more for it. Think of it this way, when you go out with your buddies or family, would YOU want her to be all over your back asking where you are every minute of the day? I sure as hell don't.

On days when my girlfriend is at work or hanging out with her friends I actually enjoy the time I am alone to get things done or just relax with my friends. You're young, enjoy your life, she won't leave you if you truly love each other.

oh and sorry I know this is only a female only section lol but I just wanted to give my input.

Agreed about the family part, but all it takes is for her to meet friends poolside or at the beach and then its like going out with a bunch of people thats the thing

I didnt really fight with her about it, I told her that I trust her but the situation just makes me scared and thats why I had a talk with her about it, don't get me wrong I love doing things for myself too when shes at work, its just hard to focus on doing things I want when shes hundreds of miles away and idk whats going on

I stopped reading when you said she gave up her friends, you gave up yours so you could be together...

You sound very insecure, so does she.

Going on the way you both are, the relationship is doomed anyway...sorry

Well I disagree for 1 reason, we dont give up our friends entirely, every now and then she goes with one of her girlfriends to the beach to lay out or to the mall, and I go to the gym with my guy friends or to the casino once and while, but most of the time we have we usually spend together, i don't necessarily think thats being insecure

If she really wants to get into trouble, she doesn't need to go to Senor Frogs to do it. She could cheat on you right there at home. Either you trust her or you don't. Mexico shouldn't change that.

Agreed as well, but it gives her more of a reason to cheat then as opposed to being back home were a lot of people know me and her

[girl68]

Your reasoning is wayyyyyy off base. You are not basing ANYTHING on facts, it's pure imagination. You either trust her or you don't and not one bit of that sounds like you trust her.

[girl68]

Agreed as well, but it gives her more of a reason to cheat then as opposed to being back home were a lot of people know me and her

Wrong. A cheater will cheat NO MATTER WHAT.

You think that her sitting on the beach and meeting somone = cheating? THAT is insecure.

[Joe17]

Wrong. A cheater will cheat NO MATTER WHAT.

You think that her sitting on the beach and meeting somone = cheating? THAT is insecure.

NOOOOOOOOOO I agree its not cheating what im saying is meeting people on the beach then going out with them to club afterwards then mix that with alcohol im sure anyone would be worried

[girl68]

No, only paranoid, insecure boyfriends worry. You have not put one ounce of confidence in your gf AT ALL. All it takes to cheat is to drink and meet some cool people? No, it takes a helluva lot more than that to cheat. It takes her stupidity, her decision to act on a guy pursuing her, her decision on how much to drink, her decision what clothes to wear etc... the list goes on. It's pathetic you think that no matter what she does she will cheat becasue she's partying with out you.

[Joe17]

No, only paranoid, insecure boyfriends worry. You have not put one ounce of confidence in your gf AT ALL. All it takes to cheat is to drink and meet some cool people? No, it takes a helluva lot more than that to cheat. It takes her stupidity, her decision to act on a guy pursuing her, her decision on how much to drink, her decision what clothes to wear etc... the list goes on. It's pathetic you think that no matter what she does she will cheat becasue she's partying with out you.

Agreed, but when your told by her that she plans on getting smashed, and i have seen the outfits she was going to wear, that wouldn't worry you?

[girl68]

So? I skank it up and get trashed at clubs, I do so with my bf's true trust. I'm not there to get smashed and hook up I'm there to doll up with my girls, let loose with many drinks and dance. Notice how boys don't come into play? Becasue they're not. And yes, boys hit on me even smashed I'm not stupid I know I have a bf- I don't just forget and do a spread eagle.

[Joe17]

So? I skank it up and get trashed at clubs, I do so with my bf's true trust. I'm not there to get smashed and hook up I'm there to doll up with my girls, let loose with many drinks and dance. Notice how boys don't come into play? Becasue they're not. And yes, boys hit on me even smashed I'm not stupid I know I have a bf- I don't just forget and do a spread eagle.

Your right, I guess I learned a valuable thing from your posts, I actually feel a lot better now

[girl68]

Have some faith just 'cause THEY want her ass doesn't mean she's gonna bend over and give it.