he's confuse maybe? what do u think?

[mswrongnot]

I understand that in life, there are going to be people who you will miss and love for the rest of your life. For example, your first love, or just someone special to you. And I find that it's okay to miss or still love someone as long as you don't hurt ur partner.

Now, me and my man been together for a long time like almost 10 years now. I know he loves me a lot or he did but lately or about two months ago, I caught him still looking up on his ex-girlfriend's picture online. I have no clues if she knew about this. Anyway, At first I thought it just pictures, no biggy, but because he told me before that he like and love that girl a lot, he wanted to be with her, marry her, but the only thing that stop him was because her mom disapproved them dating. This makes feel a little insecure inside and I did approach him about it. he said he's just checking her pics, not like what I think it is. But what it is that he stills looks up her pics?

And I have this feeling that he probably been checking her picture regularly online. Now just a few days ago, I found a picture of his girlfriend on my computer. I don't know what he wants to do with the picture, print it, but he forgot to delete the pic. I was really sad about it because this tells me that he still misses her and check her pictures occasionally. The thing is when I first approach him about I show him that I'm not happy about it and that what he did really hurts my feelings and let's not do anything that won't do any goods in our relationship because we've been together for so long and we will have soooo much to lose if we ever break up. So about the picture, is he wanting to get back with her now? still interested? miss her? unlike the past where his ex-girlfriend mom hates him, her mom now like him a lot.
So guys what do you think it is? Is my man confuse? He has a change of heart? want to get back with her? He still loves me but not as much as before that's why he did what did?

[mswrongnot]

I need to prepare to move on?

[jamesonherts]

I think it's nothing for you to worry about. You have been with your man for quite some time, and I'm sure you have a very strong relationship.

Now and then we men seem to go through a stage where we start to "look back in anger" at the past. Where we start asking ourselves "What if I had...". Your man is probably going through this phase where he's starting to think "what if i had married that girl?".

He probably just misses her and is recalling the past in his mind. It's like missing your school days - we all want to go back in time and relive the past!

So please please please dont worry about it. Let him look at these pictures, and just remind him how much you live him in a special way you know how - like a romantic dinner, night in, walk, etc...

You have nothing to fear, just give him time to wake up and face reality.
We cant keep chasing the past!

Hope this helps

[Tug]

Sorry but I dont agree with James. I believe in the golden rule, treat people like the way you want to be treated. How would your boyfriend feel if after a 10 year relationship you were looking up your old boyfriends, what would he do if you told him you liked someone allot and wanted to marry them? Hard to say how he would react but I can guarantee it would cause problems in your relationship. You need to confront him and tell him that he either lets go of his past or your done! The longer you continue to allow him to search long lost loves the more your going to get hurt... you deserve more out of a relationship.

Best of luck

[roy_delene]

10 years is a long time. You would have thought he'd be over this woman by now. I would feel a little insecure and wonder if he still loves and only 'settled" for you

[Cloud206]

If i were you, i'd get ready for the worst,just in case.If he missed her he could have saved his relationship with her at friendship lvl and in 10 years that would be only friendship,but what your saying is that maybe inside him he wonders what could have been,and o don't want to say anything badly but he might try something.I hope i'm wrong.

[xxazurexx]

It's a difficult one I think and because as you say, almost everyone holds that special place for someone and despite the fact we may have gone to new relationships/marriages and had kids.

I know that I still hold a special place for my first love from way back when I was 17. I still have a picture of him that I treasure and even if someone new came into my life, I would never destroy that picture because it's of sentimental value and that is why I hang onto it. I don't hang onto it and because I still long for him.

However, if I met someone new, I wouldn't rub this pic in his face by having it on the pc or leave it lying around somewhere for the other half to discover. That is asking for trouble.

Who knows? He may just be reminiscing old times, or he could have more serious intentions in mind.....like try to contact her.

Alas, we are not mind readers. So all you can do is to keep your eyes and ears open.

[Teddy057]

After being in a relationship for 10 years, I would imagine you two have been through quite a bit, and that you can TALK about anything. I would talk to him about this, because it is a pretty big deal in my opinion.

[damn2010]

Why not sit him down and talk to him about it if it becomes a continuing behavior?

He could just be going through a phase. Or then again he (or she) may have reestablished contact with him?