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Thread: Am I over reacting?

  1. #1
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    Am I over reacting?

    Ok so i started a new job with week. My bf texted me Monday wishing me luck and Tuesday wishing me a good day. He called me Monday to ask about my first day and that is all. I spoke to him on Wed only bc I called him. Today I ask him to come to my place and his response is "he hasn't heard from me so he made plans with his friends". He spends more time with his friends then he does with me. I'm pissed off. I've been with him 7 mnths or so and I'm feeling to feel lonely. He lives about a 1 1/2 hour drive from me and I don't know if the distance is starting to be an issue or what is going on. I am older than him by 3 years and I have a daughter, so I'm a bit later in life than he is. He is always going out while I'm more reserve. He says he wants to marry me, but I feel like I will slow him down. I almost feel guilty about being lonely. I spoke to him about this. He asked me to call him more and invite him over more but it seems he always a busy. Generally we spend the weekends together but yet this is another Friday night I'm home alone when I would rather be cuddle on the couch watching a movie.

    Any tips?

  2. #2
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    You aren't overreacting, he is a bit distant. He has a life, but you aren't that much into his live. Do you love him? If you do, get a week off, spend some time with him, go to the movies (yeah, sounds cliché), be with him. If he wants to marry you that's nice, but are you ready for it? Try to delay the marriage for a year, two, get to know him Do this correctly and he'd jump from Burj Kalifa for you

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    He wants to marry you, but makes little time for you and would rather be with his friends.

    Uhm, yeah right....pull the other one, it has bells on it.

  4. #4
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    I think your issues are stemming from the fact that you two are clearly in different phases of your lives. Couple that with the distance and you guys aren't even on the same planet most of the time.

    My ex and I lived about 1 1/2 hours apart for the first year that we dated. We had to plan out weekends together. He would come down for a few days, and then the next time I'd go up for a few days. There was rarely a time that we could see each other at the drop of a hat. We always had to schedule our time together so that we could take time off from work, or plan fun things to do, and he was finishing up grad school at the time.

    You have a daughter so she needs to be priority no. 1. Picking up and going to your boyfriend's place is clearly not an option most of the time, unless your daughter is welcome there as well. Even still, depending on how young she is you probably don't want to be carting her back and forth so much like that. I'm sure you work as well. Sounds like he's trying to satisfy you with talks of marriage when in reality his actions need to match his words. Don't simply let him say, "I can't see you tonight, but remember I want to marry you SOMEDAY." If he's not making time for you now, then he won't later on. Your relationship has no means of progressing if you guys aren't spending necessary quality time with each other.

  5. #5
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    I think you are over-thinking this. Why didn't you just make plans in advance?
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

  6. #6
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    sounds like he needs to grow up and either be with you or not.

    if i were him and i was in to you then i would make sure i made plans to see you on the weekend not expect you to initiate everything, i mean whats his role in any of this?

    i think he maybe just using you for sex which im confident he gets everytime he sees you however thereafter its up to you to do everything, thats not a relationship is it?

    to test him, call his bluff, ask him if he wants to be with you, also try avoid bedding him everytime he comes round,

    perhaps you are scared of being alone so are putting up with it, despite knowing whats what are refusing to look at it like that?

    just my opinion based on what you said, dont mean to offend..

    good luck..

  7. #7
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    Maybe you should make standing plans with him for certain days unless you two agree that something else is there.
    IE: You spend every Saturday with him? If he won't agree to that, then I think you have your answer about the relationship, its future, and his commitment to you.
    "Well, then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad."

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