Can a Man truly be loyal?

[Kelsey777]

I know his problem with AA is the same as mine...(They recommend a program similar to AA for codependents), and that's surrendering to a superior power. We're borderline atheist/agnostic...so that's kind of hard.

[Mish]

Now before anyone gets on my case, I've encountered some truly gorgeous older women. Women who in their forties put college chicks to shame. That said, I tried to imagine what it would be like to marry this amazing woman and then watch her turn into such an unappealing old woman. How can a man remain faithful? How can a man even want to have sex with her? I'm even less inclined to get married than ever before from seeing that. I envision myself growing bored and frustrated with a bride who still looks as beautiful as the day we married. How the hell would I feel about someone like that? Small wonder escort agencies thrive.

This is only because you are not looking into the future. You assume the way you feel now will be the way you will always feel, but that's not the case. 20 years from now you will be less horny and you will have a different set of values to the ones you have now. What you find important today you won't find as important any more and things you ignore now you will suddenly pay attention to. It's easy to say today when you are driven by hormones to procreate that you will always judge a woman by her attractiveness, but when you are 50+ you will realize that your point of view has changed and now being with a good partner who really understands you and takes care of you is much more important than attractiveness for the sex drive that you hardly even have any more. The main downside I see for you is that you may realize this when it's already too late.

[Caleb]

Men can be loyal. It all depends on how happy they are with what they have at home and how secure they feel within the relationship it self. In other words, if the guy really loves you and trusts you, then he has no reason to look for sluts at a concert. Though you should always know that some types of men need to be leashed in order for them to get to that point (especially musicians).

[Lite]

Can a woman truly be secure in her position in a relationship? Does she always have to question her worth and whether or not the man can be faithful to her? WTF? Maybe you should get some therapy.

[Kelsey777]

Can a woman truly be secure in her position in a relationship? Does she always have to question her worth and whether or not the man can be faithful to her? WTF? Maybe you should get some therapy.

Actually, I go to free counseling at my college campus. During the times when that is not available to me...I try to gain perspective from others via forum. Some offer substantial even helpful input...while some post extremely generic responses. ^^^
By the way...I forgot that love forums were comprised entirely of well adjusted individuals who have absolutely NO problems in relationships, and don't need any advice. Silly me.

[IndiReloaded]

Can a woman truly be secure in her position in a relationship? Does she always have to question her worth and whether or not the man can be faithful to her? WTF? Maybe you should get some therapy.

If he (ror she) can't be faithful, then just move on. Its not your responsibility to ensure their faithfulness. Only to state your values and boundaries on the subject.

I dated a guy years ago who once threatened to breakup b/c we were having some disagreement. I told him go right ahead b/c I couldn't be bothered to stay with any guy who wasn't prepared to work on issues together. I ended up breaking up with him a few months later.

This seems typical to me based on what I've read here. Those who can't problem solve often devolve to threats. Either work it out, or acknowledge you've reached a limit and move on. That's how I define secure, but maybe others think differently.

[lastwish]

People are very diverse in their behaviour. Some cheat, others don't. People cheat for different reasons. And the signs are not always obvious. And I don't believe there is any definite way to keep men (in general) faithful. You can be absolutely kind and generous to some men, yet they would cheat. There are all kinds of people in this world. And people are everchanging.

So, I don't see the point in seeking the answer to "Can men be truely loyal?" Don't put your own feeling of security on other people's hands. Just trust in yourself that you can handle anything that comes your way. If he cheats and disrespects you then dump him. Your life doesn't revolve around one guy and you will survive.

[corporatesam]

The short answer to your question is no. Even though a man could say that he will always be loyal to you and has not left you for anybody else - you can never take that for granted to say that he'll always remain loyal to you. Someone who looks more beautiful than you or simply has something better than what you have could easily take his attention away from you in a second.

You'll just have to find the right person for the right reasons. But I guess it does depend on what is important to you in a relationship and also what you look for when you're trying to find a guy.

[Incognito]

^^^The question was "Can a man truly be loyal", and your answer is "no"? What an ignorant answer. You are basically saying that any human with a penis will probably cheat if someone better looking or someone that has something better comes along. Ignorant. It has to do with each individual's decision on whether to be loyal or not. Any man or woman can be truly loyal, it whether they choose to be or not.

[the ice man]

How many women the need to prove their credibility? But if selection is not in what is the question?