Dissociative identity disorder

[xxazurexx]

With each post, you seem to get more controversial.....abortion, adoption, etc...are you trying to cause a storm here, because it aint working if you have noticed.

[Gigabitch]

Give the baby up for adoption. You've shown yourself to be someone who is incapable of making good choices.

Then get an IUD.

[vashti]

Can you possibly be serious?

If you can't be a big girl and act in this baby's best interest (which after all, is what a mother is SUPPOSED to do), then yes. Put the baby up for adoption. This baby deserves to have someone who puts his/her needs above their own selfishness.

Then again, I am beginning to suspect you are trolling. No one can be so dumb.

[-Valentina-]

I don't see anything controversial here. I am not going to dignify the questionable posts from other members with a response. I came here looking for advise not abuse.

[vashti]

Since I am pretty sure that was directed (at least in part) to me, I will respond by saying please excuse my frustration. You are very clearly either trolling, or no where NEAR ready for the responsibility of motherhood. To have a child in your current frame of mind would be a disaster - not to mention extremely unfair - for this child. Can you possibly disagree?

[-Valentina-]

What makes you think I am nowhere ready to be a mother?

[vashti]

What makes you think I am nowhere ready to be a mother?

Troll. Obviously.

[xxazurexx]

I think you are a 'troll'....deliberately raising controversial subjects to get a rise out of people.

It's like this. Nobody here is qualified enough and to give you the advice youa re seeking.....but then you know that! But you still push for advice in whether a abortion, an adoption, to get a reaction.....it's obvious you are trolling, lol

You would be far better putting these questions you are asking, to the professionals who are familiar with this illness he has.

[-Valentina-]

Well, I know that no-one here is qualified.. as I said, I was hoping that maybe someone of you is familiar with this disorder and could suggest how to treat such people. It is obvious I think that the same rules don't apply for everyone. I was expecting a different reaction, at least some support but now I see I was mistaken.

[Gigabitch]

You're not going to get support for staying with a guy who cheats on you while you're pregnant with his baby, regardless of the extraordinary rationalization you've come up with.

He was a bad bet. You bet anyway. You lose.

We blame you.

[RdHrshyKss]

does anyone watch the united states of tara on showtime? i do, i like the show a lot...although this thread has made me realize that they never explained how she had 2 kids with her condition.

[RdHrshyKss]

and i just want to put it out there that dissociative identity disorder is not hereditary. someone might be genetically predisposed to developing it (as in more gifted than another individual in being able to dissociate) BUT only if they grow up in extremely abusive environments. this particular disease strictly develops based off of the type of social environment they grow up in.

the only way someone can really push through this type of disorder is through medication and TONS OF THERAPY. i don't condone the idea that people who have these types of disorders should be outcast from normal society because it is not their fault that they have this disorder. the disorder is stemmed from horrible abuse as a child. i also don't condone the idea of you getting pregnant with his baby if you weren't 100% sure that your child would be safe. both of you were very selfish in making this decision. what did his therapist have to say about this? i hope to god that this was something that you discussed with his therapist. his therapist would most likely be his 3rd arm with this type of disorder. if he doesn't have a therapist that is working with him often and is extremely involved in what's going on in his life, than your bf is not getting the help he needs and your child is doomed to a very disturbing upbringing.

[-Valentina-]

Thank you for your reply. I already mentioned that he is receiving an ongoing treatment and yes, he has a therapist. Regarding my pregnancy, of course it wasn't discussed just between the two of us.. however, it was up to us to decide. I wouldn't call it selfishness, it was more like naivity. We are both believed that despite his disorder, we can build a proper family. Things weren't that bad at the time.

[Gigabitch]

I expect them to get worse with the added stress of parenting on top of everything else. Don't leave this man alone with your child, ever.

[RdHrshyKss]

there might be a correlation with your furthering pregnancy and his worsening alter behaviors. it might be his alter saying that he isn't ready.

this is my own personal opinion, but i just don't see how bringing a child into the picture could help his situation. with dissociative personality disorder, there is no way to tell if the person you made the decision to have a baby with is actually capable of coming to that conclusion properly. his alter contains personality traits that are also a part of him. so inevitably the father to your child is going to be all of his alters combined. not just one, which seems to be the attitude that you guys had when deciding to try conceiving. saying that just because things were ok then is not a good reason to have gone through with the decision.

it is very unlikely that your bf's disorder will go away. it takes years and years of therapy, figuring out what happened in his childhood to make him dissociate. his whole life has been built on creating separate personalities to cope with stress/trauma. if this stress of the pregnancy is linked to his current behavior, you have a lot of decisions to start making because it will most likely get worse.

if he were to integrate eventually he will NOT be the same person you started dating. he will be a VERY different person, and it just doesn't seem like you guys thought everything through. it really sucks that you guys have so much more to contemplate when deciding whether to have children and how you will care for them in comparison to the average couple, but it is still your obligation to take that responsibility since the CHILD is the most important thing here. i really feel you jumped the gun because you should have contemplated all the options and possibilities and been prepared for something like this happening. i called it a selfish decision because it seems like the child's needs were not the top priority for you guys. if you want to stay with this man, and choose to stay with him over raising the child on your own, than i would highly recommend giving the child up for adoption. your bf does not sound like he is ready for parenthood, might never be until he makes some real progress towards integration. if you don't, your child will grow up in a very dysfunctional environment...not good!