First Post - Cougar GF seeking attn from other men one week into relationship...

[WRCREX]

Okay, I'm going to get right into the facts. I need some opinions here. I just asked my girlfriend to make it official as bf/gf after three years of us getting to know eachother/hooking up/etc...Shes wanted me the whole time, and I finally just came around to realizing what was in front of my face for so long, and came to the conclusion that she's the one I want. She's 38, I'm 24..we are on the same level of emotional maturity. Here's the problem. Not even a week into me asking her out she decides to ask me if she can go to the Phillies game with a guy that hit her up on a dating site in January that she is "friends" with. They supposedly only have had "chit-chat" and its never been about attraction....I initially started questioning her about it (how long have you known him, have you ever been intimate, have you been out with this guy before type stuff..she ended up telling me they went out for drinks, but were never intimate), and got a little irritated but then ultimately decided to tell her "hey, its your life, do what you want. I'm never going to control you..etc". However I ended up with the punched in the gut feeling and ended up blowing up about it later on because I felt as though it was extremely inconsiderate to pull a stunt like this so soon after finally comitting to her...I would expect that she wouldve behaved and been content with me taking her to the game or something (I take her to games/out whenever I can)...So we ended up getting into a big thing about how it wasnt right and she eventually expressed true remorse and apologized many times (strange how much remorse she showed yet she still did the deed) What the hell am I supposed to think here? I need some level-headed opinions...If you guys need any more clarification let me know..Please help me set my mind at ease

[xxazurexx]

Women can actually be friends with guys and without wanting to bed them. This is why we have a 'friendzone'...the majority of guys go in it and we do not desire them in any way....except for companionship perhaps, period.

Her male friend may have other ideas for her though and because men rarely friend women they are not attracted too. Men will friend women and hopefully to up things a notch with the woman.

But who really knows? She could be attracted and covering her tracks with the 'We are just friends'. You know her better than we do.

[girl68]

Unless you know the other dude, and trust him maybe otherwise hell no.

FYI on a dating site it usually IS about attraction... So I don't buy that considering the whole friends thing started with other intentions.

[SirWagginston]

You don't meet "friends" on a dating website.

[xxazurexx]

Yeah good point Girl

Why was she on this dating site in the first place?

While I think we can friend men on dating sites we have no attraction for, (know I did anyway)...the main motive for being on a dating site, is to meet/date other people. But then the OP says this wasn't exclusive until a week ago - so some would argue that she was doing nothing wrong and to be on this dating site - she was free to date who she pleased.

I know I don't see it that way, but a lot would.

[xxazurexx]

You don't meet "friends" on a dating website.

But you can make friends on them, even if the purpose was to meet someone.

[VincenzoG91]

One week isn't a relationship. If you're not happy now, when she is probably on her "best" behavior, you should walk away before you get your feelings hurt.

[girl68]

One week isn't a relationship. If you're not happy now, when she is probably on her "best" behavior, you should walk away before you get your feelings hurt.

When it's official it's official. 2 dates isn't a relationship but when the courtship lasts for 2 years then they make it official it sure as hell is a relationship.

[VincenzoG91]

My mistake. The thread title made it sound like the relationship had only lasted a week so far, but now I see the part about how they had been seeing each other for three years. That is kind of weird, though, three years of non-exclusive dating is a long time. Maybe she is having trouble adjusting to monogamy now.

[Kaius]

The idea of cougar and cub is all about messing around. Why are you even taking this seriously?
You guys cannot possibly be at the same emotional maturity level. I'm 35 and my 38-year-old girlfriend is way
more mature in terms of relationship perspectives than I am. You guys are not on the same page.

Just have fun and don't get serious.