husband sneaks to look at porn to much.

[happyrun]

if your husband sneaks to look at porn do you think that is normal? my opinion i don't think thats the norm. i think that makes him a pathetic pervert. i'm a good looking woman. i'm not a obese,old, wrinkly woman so why the need for him to be such a freak? i've also caught him looking at craigslist the section where theirs basically prostitutes on there, casual encounters, and he gets emails from web sites that offer free sex. i've never caught him talking to any of these gross skanks but why is he looking at that? he's admitted to me that hes a pervert, but hes never been caught cheating. i've been wanting to dump him for his sick habbits on the internet. do you guys think looking at this crap is normal?

[Gigabitch]

It's his fantasy life and it's none of your business.

If he's really keeping it in his pants and just looking, who gives a damn how much he looks at porn? It's just straight- up porn stuff, right? Not involving little kids or snuff films or something.

Are you being neglected sexually or emotionally? I didn't see anything about that. I'm just seeing that you have moral indignation about something that is not your decision to make.

[happyrun]

gigabitch:
so your saying craigslist casual encounters section and websites for free sex is okay to look at? that indicates to me more then just looking. its not just porn. any guy who excessively, impulsively sneaks to look at porn is emotoinally messed up in the head.

[Gigabitch]

What's "excessive"?

[happyrun]

gigabitch: so your saying craigslist casual encounters section and websites for free sex is okay to look at? that indicates to me more then just looking. excessive: every day if he didnt think he'd get caught. sounds like you advocate porn. how often do you watch that and does your girlfriend think thats okay? i think if your girlfriend thinks its okay because she does that too, then thats different, but if your girlfriend finds it crude, and disrepectful then i think you should find a new hobbie. perhaps a decent hobbie.

[happyrun]

just checked your profile it says your female, so i'll rephrase my questions to does your boyfriend mind?

[TheBlackFlux]

Or a different girfriend when you stop to think about it a little^^.

Giga is a gal btw.

Edit: I don't want to be too rude, so I'll just say something constructive.
Each day seems kinda much to me also, but that's just my opinion. If this is the only problem in the marriage, let it go.

I'm not experienced with the casual encounters section of craigslist (lol), I can't tell you whether it hints something.
Still, irrational and angry argument won't be the solution for your problem, try to be open.

[VincenzoG91]

Looking at porn and looking at ads for actual sex are two very different activities. Looking at porn is just about fantasies and masturbation. Looking at sex ads is window shopping that could lead to cheating. I don't see anything wrong with your guy looking at porn, as long as it isn't the nasty illegal stuff, but looking at sex ads sounds like he is thinking about cheating on you. Pick your battles, so tell him that porn is okay, but looking at and exchanging emails involving casual encounters or prostitution is not okay with you.

[Gigabitch]

I'm not actually a huge advocate of porn, but it doesn't get me all riled up like it does you. I don't think I'd like it if my husband were looking at porn every day, but if that happened, I think I'd have a long discussion with him about what his needs were and whether he felt they weren't getting met. I'm not all that familiar with the craigslist ads, but I know they're full of photos. Maybe he just likes those.

He wouldn't have to sneak if you weren't so freaked out about it, would he?

[happyrun]

VincenzoG91:
i have told him not to look at the soliciting sex websites, but with him history always repeats itself. he has a problem respecting his wifes wishes, and thats why their is fights. i'm pretty fed up with the lack of simply listening and respecting ones wishes.

[happyrun]

Gigabitch:
freaked out about it... i wouldnt say that. we have different values and morals. I have them and he doesnt. that pretty much sums it up. we are complete opposites in every way and that is a conflict. its not easy to find a perfect match. relationships tend to not work because those two people don't share the same morals and values.

[Gigabitch]

I agree with that. I would have a hard time being married to someone who didn't share my ethical viewpoints.

Porn seems to REALLY piss you off, though. Don't worry so much about it. It's just trashy sex movies, shallow and actually quite boring. No threat to a real woman, unless your man is some kind of vermin.

If your husband is actually obsessed with it, maybe he needs some help.

[Caleb]

How dare you come between a man and his porn?! have you no shame, woman? I`m just kidding of course. Well, do you want the truth or do you want an answer that will make your life more comfortable? look, even though he is a pervert, obviously, this is actually rather "normal" for some guys. Let me put it this way, how long have the two of you been together? one year? two years? twenty? well, I can assure you that this "second relationship" he has with his porn has indeed been going on longer. Everyone needs a hobby. Some guys collect stamp, while others like gazing at expensive race cars. Well.. apparently your guy loves porn. It doesn't necessarily mean that he finds you to be less attractive because of this. You shouldn't trip over it and make this into a personal thing because it probably has nothing to do with you. It simply means that you married a pervert. And guess what, your probably not the only one in the world. Far from it. All guys are perverts to sum degree. Yours merely happens to be one that is more open about the subject. What I am trying to say here is that unless your guy is a cheater, you have nothing to worry about. That`s all. I think that unless there is some harmful history there, you might be reading too much into this. I think that the next line I am about to say will probably sound horrible to you, but its only porn. Chill. And, yeah, there is the small possibility that he has gotten a little bored of you. So what? your not twelve. For god`s sake, your married - this is not unheard of. really. You know what? think about it this way: if him watching porn is a good enough reason for you wanting to dump him, then I believe that him watching porn might the least of your problems in this marriage. Perhaps the two of you are too different from each other, perhaps its not meant to be.

Look, if it bothers you so that much then by all means, give him an ultimatum. Who knows, maybe it will fix the problem. Just remember that it might be pointless.

[mrtdg82]

Never have i felt so bad that i watch porn on occassions after reading your post....

Im actually going to be up front and honest about this and not beat around the bush with what ifs etc... There is nothing wrong with watching porn, only if he is watching it excessivley. HOWEVER what you fail to include is your own sex life and whether your husband is entirely satisfied with it. What i really dont like is your strong negativity to him watching it. Sure he may look at these lists you talk about but i went to Amsterdam once, walked the red light district and didnt do anything. You also as i mentioned before may not have a sex life (i dont know as you fail to mention it) which he may need. Judging by your blunt reaction to porn on here theres no wonder he doesnt confront you or discuss with you any issues such as porn and sex.

Overall what im trying to say is this. We all have morals etc but him watching porn is actually something that 99% of men do. WHy do we do it? Often not to watch the women but because it stimulates us and since one of our main driving forces is testosterone we basically get 'off' from watching. Therefore you to a certain degree have to respect the fact he watches porn, i dont expect you to like it but respect it. What you seem to be doing is trying to get us to judge this guy purely because he watches porn. if that is the case, you will not get many men on here respond well to it.

[Gigabitch]

I don't think looking at porn qualifies the guy as a pervert.