Am I acting too jealous?

[legend]

He is playing

[lahnnabell]

If you go to tell him how you feel, don't freak out. Calmly and rationally explain why you feel the way you do. Tell him that you feel disrespected that this "friend" of his has invited him out in a more intimate situation without even expressing the desire to get to know YOU yet. Going to a museum together is far more intimate and personal than hanging out at a bar with some friends.

One of my boyfriend's friends asked him to take a waltzing class with her once. My boyfriend instantly told her that despite how much he doesn't like dancing, he would refrain because he has priorities and those include his girlfriend, me. She then tried to create a list of 50 reasons as to why he should do it, but she stopped at no. 7 because she realized the only reason he should is because he wants to. That girl has no sense of propriety. Neither does your boyfriend's friend.

[Charisma]

Here's what I think, because I'm easily jealous and possessive like you are too.

I would tell your bf that you're not happy about it, and don't think it's ok. Of course, I'd mention to him that it's his choice, but if he goes then he should expect you to be antsy about it, and to be suspicious thereafter.

Why? Cos he might think it's ok for girls left right and centre to ask him to go out places. This time this girl might be engaged (happily?) to a *kind of friend* of his, but next time it could be an ex he's not seen in a long time. Or a friend of a friend. Or some flirty man-eater. Or a cougar.

People also have a point about why she's not inviting her fiancee along instead. Or better yet, a best friend who's female. So that could be a bit suspicious too, but there's no way to dig deeper about that, really.

In the end, you have to think about yourself. Are you prepared to give him some le-way because there *could* be something strange about it. Or would you rather wait til something actually does happen, and then dump his ass?

[Michaelina]

These replies have been very useful! It seems like mostly everyone thinks the situation is inappropriate... does that mean that opposite sex friendships while in a committed relationship are basically completely off limits? Is it ever ok to start up an innocent friendship with someone new of the opposite sex?

[roy_delene]

You're not being over jealous, its not unreasonable to expect your boyfriend to go on dates with you and only you. Is this guy for real??

[corporatesam]

No you're not acting too jealous. It's right for you to get suspicious because it doesn't seem normal to you otherwise you wouldn't be brining this up and also it wouldn't be bothering you.

But to be honest I don't think her fiance would know about this. Best thing is try and get him to persaude her to bring her fiance along one night and have dinner together to get a full picture.

[bluesummer]

I think once one is in a committed relationship, any new friendships that arise with the opposite sex should include your significant other, or it just shouldn't happen. That's pretty much dating and calling it something else so it doesn't sound so bad.

My fiance has girl friends from his past that he'll get together with once in awhile when he goes back home to visit, and if I'm around I am automatically included in said get-togethers. If he made friends with a new girl, I would NOT approve of them hanging out one on one in a situation like that. Sorry, it sounds like a date. Not appropriate.

[nati icee]

I am very very jealous too. I would be OK with it If i met the girl. I know a lot of girls who are happily with their bfs but honestly like have a guy friend are looiking for nothng else. Id have a little bit of jealousy, but I dont see the harm in it. It's a museum. Its something interesting. I know that I go tothings I am genuniely interested with with my guy friend because we both have a passion for music. So we both went to this one concert together. Meet her...I'm sure its harmless and if you trust one another I am sure everything iwll work out and it will mean a lot to him if you let him go (as hard as it may be)

[Illusional]

personally i think that you're being jealous. imagine this scenario, what if this girl wasn't attractive? then would you be so jealous?? i've working in the restaurants, and most of the time, you get along with people who are around the same age or basically have the same interests as you. there are a lot of characters in this business, so it isn't rare for someone's best friend or close friend to be of the opposite sex.


raverboy

[VincenzoG91]

Restaurant workers are notorious for hooking up after work. You have every reason to be suspicious about this situation.

[Gigabitch]

These replies have been very useful! It seems like mostly everyone thinks the situation is inappropriate... does that mean that opposite sex friendships while in a committed relationship are basically completely off limits? Is it ever ok to start up an innocent friendship with someone new of the opposite sex?

Friendship is one thing, but this is a date.

personally i think that you're being jealous. imagine this scenario, what if this girl wasn't attractive? then would you be so jealous?? i've working in the restaurants, and most of the time, you get along with people who are around the same age or basically have the same interests as you. there are a lot of characters in this business, so it isn't rare for someone's best friend or close friend to be of the opposite sex.

Having worked in restaurants for many years, I've seen all kinds of shit, including LOTS of cheating with coworkers. I used to be part of the group that went out for drinks after work every night. While the group is together, it's all good. When they start pairing off and doing things without the group, it leads to trouble.

[girl68]

If you know your man well enough, it isn't blindly trusting. If the ONLY reason you don't want him going is becasue you're jealous and have no just reason to be I would say suck it up and let him go. Even if SHE advances it doesn't automatically mean he jumps ship and cheats. (You must have some knowledge/ feelings as to weather or not this guy would in fact cheat or not cheat given a particular situation).

ANd he is being upfront and honest perhaps you could do the same. Tell him it makes you a little uneasy but that you realize you don't have any reason to believe anything will happen.

[Gigabitch]

I think even if you trust him completely, this is an inappropriate thing to do with a female friend.

[girl68]

friends aren't to go to an exhibit together ever? In certain circumstances I'd disagree...

[VincenzoG91]

It is odd that she isn't taking her fiance to the art exhibit. I bet she didn't even mention it to him.