getting to know each other vs sex

[secretary]

ok so i met this guy about a month ago and we've been casually seeing each other i guess you'd say. been on about 6 dates/or just hanging out for extended periods of time.

i really like this him and on 4 different occasions we have ended up back at his fooling around and on two occasions it has led to sex, which for me was pretty fast moving but it felt so intense and great with him it felt like the right time.

he is really busy with lots of other things going on in his life like work and other after work projects he has going on so very often when i see him it is at his place which makes it convenient for things to usually progress to the bedroom.

last time i saw him, a few days ago, we ended up sleeping together again which is no big deal at all, but in my paranoid state i told him that i was scared that that was all this was. he agreed that things had moved really fast and that we connect really well on an intimacy level, but we need to wait for our "friendship" to develop, so we should probably put sex and sleeping over on the back burner for a bit. he told me he really enjoyed hanging out with me and a couple of his friends who ive met he said really like me, which i guess suggests that things will find an equilibrium soon, it sounds like he has spoken to them about me which im guessing means he is quite serious about it.

he is 30 and im 24 which really isnt a huge gap but maybe physical relationships are a lot quicker to form for him because of age and experience which is maybe why i feel uneasy that emotionally we are kind of lagging behind and i have this constant feeling that things arent working even though this is probably quite common with couples trying to get to know each other and satisfy their attractions for one another at the same time

what does it sound like this guy wants? i believe he is genuine in his intentions and its good to know he is both physically attracted to me, but also understands that right now that could be detrimental perhaps to things progressing to a deeper level.

[Gigabitch]

I think after hooking up with him multiple times might not have been the best time to voice concern about "moving too fast". Either you were going to go slow from the beginning and take your time or you were going to jump right in. you jumped right in, and now you're trying to jump back out. I think the message this is sending to him is that you're not all that into him. That's unfortunate for both of you.

[jessZ]

I think it is nice that he was open with you about wanting to let the 'friendship' aspect of the relationship develop. Perhaps you could try going on more dates together/spend time together away from his place?? It sounds like you guys want similar things, so don't let anxiety over sleeping with him too soon ruin things! Just take your time from now on and see where it leads.

[Kaius]

If you are just "casually seeing" each other and not really dating or serious, then sex in this context isn't all that meaningful.
I mean, it's a physical thing at this point. What would you expect him to think?
You can definitely slow down and build up the friendship, but if you notice any weirdness, than you know there really isn't much emotional connection
to begin with.

[Mish]

I think you should only go for sex when the time is right. Once you are certain that you want to be with him then go for it, otherwise wait.

[QueenofCorona]

I agree with Mish, don't sleep with him again until you are both on the same page. If he continues to call and seem like he's really wanting to get to know you and futher a friendship, without the sex, then take it as a sign he's into you and not just your hoohah and think about taking it to the next level.

[damn2010]

His actions are going to speak louder than his words.

If he actually makes an effort to hang out and get to know you on a personal level, then he is interested in develop a friendship.

If he starts backing off, getting angry when rejected from sex, then it was obvious he was using you for one thing.

[Cbrider]

He sounds legitimately interested in you beyond sex. Honestly, there's' nothing really fishy on his behalf thus far, just your unrest over it all.

[xxazurexx]

Agree with damn2010. He would seem interested in more, but his actions from this point, will prove what he is really after.

[davidtorres]

Why are you asking us? You should be asking him. Us guys will never understand you if you dont tell us what you want. dont give us a sign. just ask. its as simple as that. tell him "Where is this thing going?" it seems like thats your real question right?