Need advice- Have girlfriend I love, but have hard to control "urges"

[AceJackSuited]

Hello,

I'm a 21yr old male, and my g/f is a 21yr old female. We have been together for almost 3 years now and I really love her. More and more, I have been getting physical desires, or urges, to try other girls. I was in a situation in Vegas where I was at a club with my girlfriend, and there was a point where she went to hang out with her girl friend and I went to hang out with my guy friend. When I went to go looking for her later, I got lost in the crowd, and being super drunk and surrounded by hot girls, I began to lose control of myself and danced and flirted with other girls. Eventually I met up with her and I told her what happened, and I felt extremely guilty and still do. Although at this time it was only a minor incident and I have since been forgiven, I think it could have been a lot worse.

Well, right now she is about to go on vacation for a week with her family. I just moved in to a school owned apartment for summer and I am the only one at the apartment (for one reason or another, the administration was unable to get more roommates to fill the apartment). Summer school starts in a week and I am surrounded by bored hot girls. I am getting these urges/feelings that I will be able to do what I want and have fun with other girls and my g/f will never even have to know about it, even though I know later I will regret this and that I don't REALLY want this.

Usually when I am distracted during school, or always hanging out with my g/f I will be fine, but right now I don't feel like I can control myself too much longer. I have always been a pretty disciplined person (quit smoking cold turkey 3years ago) EXCEPT when it comes to this matter. I love my girlfriend and I want to be with her. FYI, my g/f is very attractive to me, and puts out, and has pretty much all the qualities I want, but I still find myself wanting more.

Should I tell my girlfriend about the way I am feeling right now? Any advice on what I should do? Appreciate any help or advice!

Thanks,
Steve

[Junket]

I feel ya, man.

Sometimes I regret having met such a wholesome girl at such an early age.

There's girls upstairs I want to bang, there's girls next door I want to bang, there's women all over the place that I would love to try my hand at.

I honestly don't know what to tell you, because I feel just as lost as you.

[Alyazy]

i think you are not emotionally mature you feel this way because a gap within you still unfilled due to infant issues
ask yourself why the hell you want cheat on her and why you want that MORE ??!!!!
you still young , 21 is not maturity yet but you can success in your relationship . you know that if you cheat on her you will regret later on so why you still remain yourself about cheating and wanting more !!??

[vashti]

^^ huh?

I think it's normal to want to sow your wild oats when you are young. Maybe you should break off with your girlfriend so you can?

[returnofthezro]

i agree with vashti that its normal, while not all guys that young want to play the field - not when i was anyway, the fact that you want to is normal, you need to be single for a while, enjoy the good life, its all downhill from there

[telecino]

girls, you probably cannot understand what men experience, as much as men cannot understand what gills experience.

65,000 years ago, we were mammals, animals, where males copulated with females, where females had babies, and males went out to get food for everyone. Even after a few hundred years on social modification, we still have the same animal body than before. Although we wish to be loyal to a single person, our physical body, both for males and females, are meant to have multiple intercourse is multiple people. Our physical body is animal nonetheless. We are human after all. It is completely understandable that a physical body will have the urge to go with someone else than your appointedthe lover.

The physical Bobby has an experience that is different from the emotional body. This is the root of the confusion. In any human experience, there is information coming to us from the physical, emotional, mental aspects of our person. Some people can even say that they will get information from the soul. All of these information's are different, each based on the level of experience of each body. Let's say someone ask you to go out for a movie, and you just don't know what to do. Your physical body wants to stay in bed and rest, your emotional body wants to be entertained and go with friends,and your menthol body remembers a errand you've should be doing. In such a simple situation, you are confused between all the different information's that are going on inside you. Imagine how much power a physical body, wits hormonal explosions, can have an influence on someone's personality and choices.

This solution is understanding. There is a way out of the situation. It all has to do with your willpower, but your willpower alone will not suffice. When a man has an urge to go elsewhere, the first thing to do is to sit, not move, concentrate on your breathing. Observe the experience of the urge and they yearning. Observe as long as it takes for their yearning to stop being a pressure, and simply become information. Deep relaxed breath and patient observation is the only way out of it. Doing this 10 to 20 minutes per day, and within only a few days, you were urges will be under control.

Although this seems to be a mystery to us Occidentals, since we ignore what is the concept of personal growth, it is not a mystery for therapists and philosophers. Self observation is the only way out off what seems to be " Stronger than you". I understand it can be difficult to look at yourself when the pressure is almost painful, but if you do not do it you will remain and saved to your animal body. Although, no one said it was something wrong to decide to have pleasure at the sexual level.

maybe this will help a few out there.