Why do girls suddenly jump ship

[TAVS]

Does it really matter why? You've lost this one, move onto the next. It sucks but life goes on

[Cizzel]

I would never give a second chance and to someone who jumped ship like that...but that's just me.

99% of the time I would take the same stance but in the case I truly feel I played it way to cool which is what pushed her away so I might be open to reengaging in something but I would be very cautious

Does it really matter why? You've lost this one, move onto the next. It sucks but life goes on

It matters strictly because if my actions caused her to NEXT me, I would like to learn from my mistakes so it does not happen again.

[kalifornia]

Clearly the girl I was seeing did not show me the same level of courtesy. Now I am forced to give her the silent treatment not knowing what her deal is, leaving me to over-analyze what happened and to seek out advise from strangers on message boards... Awesome

LOL. I just went through something similar (well, sort of) with a dating relationship, hence I joined this board trying to find some words that would make me feel better. I think a lot of people come here for that reason.

Take the following with a grain of salt as I could be completely wrong: She may have generally liked you but, overall, decided that things weren't going to go far long term. Time for you to say "NEXT."

Believe me, I know it can be hard. I was reeling two days ago but feel great today because I realized that, although we had some great dates, the girl I was dating was not altogether a good person. And I'm saying "NEXT!"

[IndiReloaded]

Seems to me you want someone to say something the equivalent of:

"Wow. What an inconsiderate bitch. She should have at least had the decency to tell you she was thinking of dating other guys. You sound so much more morally upright than her, she clearly doesn't deserve someone of your obvious integrity."



But the truth is actually what Vash already told you: You failed to communicate your level of interest to her. You weren't dating all that long, especially given you said you were away travelling.

She didn't do anything wrong. She doesn't owe you an explanation. For your future reference, if you want something, make more of an effort to get it.

Good luck.

[vashti]

So eye contact with a man and the fantasy of what relationship may come from that brief exchange would in that single moment negate anything you had built with your current boyfriend??? WOW

I have established a strong connection to a girl based solely on her tits but that does not mean I am going to leave my girlfriend for her.

She wasn't your girlfriend. You were only casually dating. Stop trying to make it sound more meaningful than it was... you only dated her a couple of months, and weren't even exclusive.

[lahnnabell]

Cizzel, the ladies are right. Their seemingly harsh comments are only the result of your posts, which seem to be you trying to convince yourself of something.

I've only jumped ship on guys I wasn't that interested in. I dated a guy for a couple of months last year while I was rebounding after my ex and I split. He was a sweet guy, but our "relationship" got boring really fast. Toward the end of our time together he called me out and asked me if I was sleeping with other people. I lied and told him, "No" because I knew that there would be drama simply 'cause he asked the question. After that, I realized that he was quite possibly wanting to get more serious and I wasn't ready. So, I left.

Too many times women put all their eggs in one basket. They meet a guy, like him, he likes her, she decides to put everything else on hold for this dude, then he arbitrarily ups and leaves. Women emotionally invest themselves too quickly most of the time, so I think it was smart of her to hold out for someone who was willing to pursue her more aggressively. And it also may be that she was more attracted to him too. That's not your fault, but it happens.

Don't take this as such a huge ego blow. It doesn't mean something is wrong with you as a person. But next time, ask yourself, do I want to date anyone else? Do I want her to date anyone else? If you answer, "No", then it's time to have the exclusivity talk.

[TAVS]

99% of the time I would take the same stance but in the case I truly feel I played it way to cool which is what pushed her away so I might be open to reengaging in something but I would be very cautious

It matters strictly because if my actions caused her to NEXT me, I would like to learn from my mistakes so it does not happen again.

Why does it have to be all about you?? She found someone she liked better. Get over it. And what do you expect from us anyway? Do you think we were there watching your every move? Do you think we have a clue what you guys talked about? Do you think we know who this other guy is so we can draw comparisons? We dont. All we can tell you is the truth. She's not interested, its no big deal, move along.

[IndiReloaded]

Women emotionally invest themselves too quickly most of the time, so I think it was smart of her to hold out for someone who was willing to pursue her more aggressively.

This^. At the risk of sounding a bit old-fashioned, guys who aren't prepared to hustle for their ladies don't make good providers and protectors for their families.

IMO, there are three possible reasons for this behaviour: either the guy is too self-centred, he is emotionally damaged in some way, or he just isn't interested in that particular girl enough to rouse himself to hustle for her. Either of the first two means that no girl will be able to move this guy enough. In the last case, she is just the wrong woman. But any of them are reason for the girl to move on. Also, the guy if he is self-aware enough to understand this.

[Cizzel]

Regardless of the level to which this particular girl was into me I find it odd for anyone to cold turkey somebody that they have been spending a considerable amount of time with. Maybe she wasn't into me, maybe some other guy swept her off her feet, maybe she has commitment issues, maybe I have commitment issues, maybe this, maybe that.... The details are really irrelevant. I was not the first guy nor will I be the last guy where a girl suddenly stops seeing the person or vice-versa.

When you establish rapport with a girlfriend, boyfriend co-worker, friend, etc. I don't see how one could suddenly just clip them from their life. Nevertheless thanks everyone for the insight and feedback

[IndiReloaded]

When you establish rapport with a girlfriend, boyfriend co-worker, friend, etc. I don't see how one could suddenly just clip them from their life.

Because she views any further effort on her part as wasting her time. She views her time as more valuable than smoothing your ruffled feathers.

I used to cut guys cold all the time when I was younger. Its not the nicest way to dump a guy, but it is extremely efficient.

Don't take this too hard. If she was anything like I was at that age, its less of a judgment of you and more to do with her simply knowing you aren't her type. I think there are many guys who wished that most of their dates could be so upfront about things not working out.

[lahnnabell]

Agreed with Indie. That guy I dated for 2 months last year? I simply stopped calling him. Lucky for me he stopped calling me simultaneously. Two weeks went by and I realized I hadn't heard from him. I shrugged and moved on. Like I said, he was a nice guy, but there was very little passion. It's great for things to feel calm and to be relaxed when it comes to relationships, but it definitely sounds like you got far too comfortable with things. Any self-respecting woman will sense that in the guy she's dating, and she dished out the exact wake up call you needed. Oh, so you think I'll just stick around as if I don't have any other options do you? See ya.