How to fix this problem...

[Gigabitch]

Your girlfriend had every right to be upset, and the person she should be really upset with is you. What a hurtful thing to say. You should know by now that your mom is the way she is.

I think you need to set some better boundaries with your mom. If you can't do that, you should stop pretending to be in a position to pick out your own girlfriends, etc, and climb back into the high chair so she can spoon feed you.

[Cain]

You're a doormat.

The only two women I know that you are involved with in some way are able to walk all over you. You're also a momma's boy and I can assure you that women don't find that attractive. Your gf will eventually break up with you if you can't cut that umbilical cord.

[TheTooya]

This is still my best advice. Everything that has happened since I posted it is just more icing on the cake that could have been avoided had you wanted to take a tougher stance. Is it because of the money? Is that why you won't put your foot down? You might want to consider drawing a line in the sand (and the subsequent financial hit) the cost of growing into manhood. How much, exactly, would it cost you to finish off your education at your own expense? Lots of people do it; you probably could, too.

BTW - I wouldn't care about the lack of inheritance. By the time she croaks, you should be fully self-supportive, anyway, and won't need the money. It's honestly NOT something you should have ever been counting on in the first place.

I don't care about the inheritance, nor the money. I need $20,000 by December, and I am confident that I will find a way to earn that. Additionally, I am confident I will be financially stable following my internship and graduation. What I don't like, is the severed connection... but, its probably for the best to distance myself. The problem is I have always been very close with my mom. And I do feel guilty, she has already told me that I have used her and my stepfather for college, etc.

@Giga
I really should no better that my mom is this way. I was just... hoping she would act normal after the apology? I guess it was wishful thinking... And you are right about the boundaries, but I don't think I am going to be the one that needs to do that. From my actions I can tell that my mom has imposed her own boundaries on me. I am "not the same person anymore", and she has "stopped caring anymore." But, the healthiest thing is probably to distance myself from her...

@Cain
Cain, I think any, and all girlfriends would break up with me after putting up with my moms shit for long enough. She already told me she is always going to act this way, so I dont know what the **** is the point any more... My relationship with my mom and my relationship with my girlfriend, I should just keep exclusive from eachother.

Long story short, I should just, distance the hell away from my Asian parent, right?

[Charisma]

Some advice.

1) Change your email address.

2) Don't have a facebook account.

3) Delete the old stuff she managed to find, or/and transfer all your documents/files to a flash drive and delete off laptop/computer. Who knows what else of yours she's spying on!!!

4) Change phone numbers.

5) If by some chance you mother STILL confronts you about something, just say *what was it you said about not wanting anything to do with me?*

Seriously though. My mother is controlling. She tries to make me pick *her* choices. She tries to give me advice about things when I've not discussed the part I need advice on (interrupting, but also belittling me). She compares me to my dad(as if that's supposed to be an insult) and if I don't do a favour then she'll say things like *just wait til you need a lift/want something, and we'll see if I can be bothered*. Even tho it's easier to go along with what she says, someday I'm gonna have a lot of plans and she can't assume I'm gonna do her bidding. But so far I'm still living under her roof so I do the favours for her (very unwillingly, through gritted teeth).

But your mother is crazy! She has no right to dictate who you should or shouldn't date. She isn't mature or respectful enough to let you make your own choices. She thinks that all this blackmailing *if you don't do this, I'm stopping this, you're not getting that, blah blah*, will keep control of you. Even if it doesn't, it's bad enough to affect your girlfriend, and probably your family and other facebook friends. Who's life are you living anyways?!?!

If I were you, I'd break all contact with your mother asap. It's beyond unhealthy. I don't know anything about your girlfriend, but she has the right to block who she likes on facebook. That is not your mother's choice. Just like it's your choice to have accepted your mother on facebook. Facebook is annoying anyways, even though I have an account I'm planning to deactivate it *again*.

Your life won't be healthy until your mother is out of your life. You need the freedom to know what it's like to live without manipulation and mind games. Without some bully telling you *do this* and *do that*.

She's already just insulted you on so many levels. How can a mother even have expectations of you based on your choice of girlfriend anyways?!?! I'd understand if she says *you could do better, she's not to be trusted* or *you could do better, she treats you like dirt* or *you could do better, she is mentally insane*. But she's trying to force you to break up with your girlfriend.(with her constant nagging, and with the whole drama, which I think your gf's reaction by blocking her provided as an excuse.)

Hell, I'd be tempted to tell your mother *if this other girl is so wonderful, why don't you go and flipping date her yourself?*

Still unsure? Think of it this way, she's so worried about you using her, of you being this disappointment, but actually you're off making something of yourself. You're almost completely independent of her. She should be proud of you, singing your praises, patting you on the back. Instead, she's came between you and your girlfriend, and most likely your past girlfriends. She's too stubborn for her own good. She should be fussing over a pet, or a garden, or some hobby. Not your life. That's for you to fuss over.

[iHEARTu]

uhm, sorry. but LOL. your girlfriend added your mum on facebook?! HAHAHA. Tell your mum that you love your girlfriend, and that if she doesnt like it to get over it. If you love your girlfriend and want to be with her, tell her that she's going to have to get along with your mum, because you dont plan on taking sides however you want your mum to stop suggesting girls to you.

Simple and easy. not sophisticated though. In other words, its exactly what my dad says. When there are two women in a house or in a mans life: there is always going to be fighting and drama.

hehehe im sorry but your girlfriend is soooo childish! this just made my day!

Basically, what im saying is tell them both to get over it. If you want a future with your current gf, your mum is going to need to get over it and your gf is going to need to get over it too as they both will be in contact over several years... :| not sure how to say that but hope you understand.........

best of luck! hehehe.. lol@ your girl

ALSO LISTEN TO WHAT CHARISMA SAYS! he/she has the best advice EVAR! ♥ Love him/her!

[TheTooya]

Some advice.

1) Change your email address.

2) Don't have a facebook account.

3) Delete the old stuff she managed to find, or/and transfer all your documents/files to a flash drive and delete off laptop/computer. Who knows what else of yours she's spying on!!!

4) Change phone numbers.

5) If by some chance you mother STILL confronts you about something, just say *what was it you said about not wanting anything to do with me?*

I can't necessarily follow your exact advice, because my family actively depends on me ensuring our technical infrastructure is working and up to date. That said... there are plans to be getting a new CIO, and there are plans to not have me be the account holder for our family fund with an offshore account. Essentially, things are working their way such that I am not directly responsible for our finances. Until then, I do have to grin and bear it to some degree, it would be extremely irresponsible to my family to go cold turkey on them when they need me to sign contracts/ medallion restricted stock certificates/ transer funds to employees... stuff they are not able to do on their own.

[lahnnabell]

Considering all the work you do for them while simultaneously holding down a (fulltime?) internship, you'd think they'd be a tad more grateful. Alas.

[Mish]

This hole just keeps getting dug deeper....
I am going to apologize to my stepfather, for breaking his trust. I don't know about apologizing to my mom. My mom has told me that she will never accept my girlfriend, and has now told me if I ever betray her again, she will disown me.

And also told me that I am to blame for my grandmas suicide about 8 years ago.

If I were you I would cut contact with her for awhile, this endless going around in circles is not really helping anyone and is making everything worse. If I were you I would cut contact and resume when everyone is thinking a little bit clearer. No name calling or guilt tripping would be my condition for resuming communication.

[the ice man]

Each surrounded by its environment but not everyone is surrounded by a comprehensive approach and a healthy environment does not change but eventually capture the problem?