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Thread: what should i think of this response from my bf?

  1. #1
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    what should i think of this response from my bf?

    so my bf and i had an amazing night last night. had some pretty hot sex, which we haven't done in awhile, and i felt like being really nice today. i bought him a bouquet of really pretty sunflowers from a local flower shop and had it delivered to his office. i put a little note on it saying "just wanted to say i love you"...

    we go out for lunch (we work in the same city) and on my way back to my office i get a text message from him saying "aw thanks 4 flowers!" i send him a text back saying "love you. the guys aren't making fun are they?" (referring to his male coworkers) he responds by saying "nope, send chocolates next time tho lol u know me nom nom nom"

    now my first reaction is to get upset, just because that's how i am. i'm thinking, i got him flowers to show him that i care and that i'm thinking about him and that i love him. yeah, he said thank you, but right afterwards he tells me i should have gotten him something different.

    #1) do i have a right to be sorta upset or disappointed, or does being upset/disappointed make me a crazy bitch?

    #2) if your gf/bf were to get you something that you know they did out of love, but that you don't really like, how would you slip the idea in their head that next time they should get you something different?

    whats ironic is that i wanted to get him chocolates, but they wouldn't have been able to deliver today and it was ridiculously expensive for something i could just make him at home.

    now i'm thinking that i should just overlook this, and go grab some strawberries and dip them in chocolate before he gets home from the gym and stuff tonight. but then again, i am sorta hurt that he said that to me the way he did and it would be hard for me to reward that.

    advice please...
    the love you take is equal to the love you make

  2. #2
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    Wow. Really. Get over it. Your crazy, psycho analysis of this very SIMPLE ordeal will ruin this. Don't indulge your brain with this kind of thinking.

    I say this with love

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    Yeah, don't read into it. What he said was pretty boneheaded but I don't think he meant it to be ungrateful at all. I can think of a few guys who have said things without thinking before.

    Make the chocolate covered strawberries for the both of you to enjoy but only if you feel up to it, I say save it for this weekend or another time when you want to do something special.
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  4. #4
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    hahaha, i'm nuts! i just get all excited thinking things are going to go one way, and they end up not being what i expected and i get disappointed. gosh darnit, what's wrong with me!?!

    probably right about holding off on the chocolate strawberries, better to spread out the love than dish it all out in one shot
    Last edited by RdHrshyKss; 23-06-10 at 02:55 AM.
    the love you take is equal to the love you make

  5. #5
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    Seriously I overreact to thing too! but yeah you got nothing to be offended about.

  6. #6
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    Total overreacting.

    Now if you found a note from another woman....then you'd have something to be PISSED about.

  7. #7
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    my expectations are way too high...that and i'm way too emotional and sensitive about stupid stuff. i was good this time tho! i caught myself being negative, posted it up on the forum and didn't act on it at all. if i had been my normal self, i probably would have sent him something like "oh so you don't like the flowers?" or something stupid like that. i need therapy haha...
    the love you take is equal to the love you make

  8. #8
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    guys often say irrelevant things without meaning. you shouldnt read into it at all. he appreciated the flowers, and he just mentioned chocolate in an out of context weird timing sort of way.

    I got myself into a jam 7 months ago when my GF showed me her breasts for the first time. They were large, gorgeous, and I was drooling. For some odd reason, my mind wandered and I asked,
    "when you were in college, did you ever consider breast implants?" The question was obviously a general question applicable to many OTHER young women in California....the plastic surgery craze....
    but I took a wrong time to ask it, and she took it like I thought her boobs were too small. I don't think natural D cups on a 5'4", 120 lbs woman is too small at all.... but she felt bad and I had to explain
    myself till my face turned blue. Conclusion: Guys say stupid things at stupid times.... don't read into it cus we have no brain most of the time.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kaius View Post
    Conclusion: Guys say stupid things at stupid times.... don't read into it cus we have no brain most of the time.
    I second that

    I have said no end of stupid stuff which has usually resulted in me upsetting a girlfriend. Guys do have a tendency to say what comes into their heads as to us they are just random little comments which have no negative meaning, just a little comment as that is what popped into our heads at the time.

    Your bloke appreciated the flowers as he sent a message to start with saying thank you for sending them, then when you asked if he had been made fun of his reply was just a humorous one. If I am honest I would have probably sent a similar reply if it had been me. My reply would have probably been thought as I would have been winding up my colleagues about receiving something nice from my girlfriend, you never know one of his colleagues may have even asked in a joking manner when the chocolates would be arriving which would have then made him chuckle when replying to you, while he was thinking about receiving a box of chocolates so he made a innocent off hand comment with no meaning to it.

    Men will always say stupid things, usually without thinking.

    S

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    What everyone has said already. Don't over-analyze stuff, we're simple creatures and crazy assumptions being launched in our faces makes us sad.

  11. #11
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    I thought your boyfriend's comment was pretty funny. I don't know him that well and maybe it wasn't tactful, but I'm sure he didn't mean it in an ungrateful way. I think you'd blatantly know if he was ungrateful, like say he was starting a fight after you've done something nice.

    I know after all the b.s. the guys before you put you through (and I think most women have been a doormat the first time they fall in love), you feel like you have to stick up for yourself and stand your ground. Choose your battles wisely. There's a line you shouldn't let him cross, but this isn't one of those occasions.

    There is a whole new echelon of bonehead he can become. Save that feisty for then.
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    I think you're overreacting.

    And no offense, I'd raise an eyebrow too if my g/f got me flowers?

    Flowers for a guy? Come on now! Get me a DVD of a movie I like or if I love food, get chocolates or cookies like your boy said.

    I could honestly care less about flowers.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by RdHrshyKss View Post
    now i'm thinking that i should just overlook this, and go grab some strawberries and dip them in chocolate before he gets home from the gym and stuff tonight.
    Yes, please do this^ and forget about any drama you are brewing in your head. You said it yourself:

    Quote Originally Posted by RdHrshyKss View Post
    "love you. the guys aren't making fun are they?"
    You sent flowers to a guy, ofcourse he'd prefer something less emasculating. Though your intention was good and he recognized that with a thank you. You said something you shouldn't have about guys making fun, he said something he shouldn't have about chocolates. Now forget it and let it go.

    And get him chocolates next time. Personally I'd feel a little embarrassed if my partner sent me flowers at work. I'd wonder if she did that on purpose so my friends can laugh at me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by damn2010 View Post
    I think you're overreacting.

    And no offense, I'd raise an eyebrow too if my g/f got me flowers?

    Flowers for a guy? Come on now! Get me a DVD of a movie I like or if I love food, get chocolates or cookies like your boy said.

    I could honestly care less about flowers.
    I must admit, I'd never buy flowers for a guy, least not the men who have been in my life. They were all the 'mans man' kind of guy and wouldn't have appreciated flowers. I wouldn't have dared buy my ex hubby flowers, he just wouldn't have appreciated them at all, lol. He preferred 'boys toys'. Now the last ex, well he quite a romantic guy, more romantic than the rest and flowers are something I would have dared buy him, but still I wouldn't have. I tend to buy afterhave, clothes, dvd,s cd's or some kind of gadget for a guy.

  15. #15
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    I think he probably did get harassed by his male coworkers..I know I would have for sure. He probably didn't want to make you feel guilty by saying, "yes, they called me a fairy at work", and in doing so made you feel bad for another reason.

    It was a very nice gesture, but come one, who sends a guy flowers if he's in good health, and no one died in his family?

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