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Thread: How would you react if your gf told you she was a virgin?

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    How would you react if your gf told you she was a virgin?

    Guys, how would you react if your gf told you she was a virgin?

    I've been dating my current bf for the last 6months and going out together for the last 3months. We're both in our early 20's but I'm still a virgin and this is my first relationship but I haven't told him any of this. He's not a virgin and unlike me its not his first relationship either. I feel a strong connection with this guy, he's so nice and we get on great and I just feel so comfortable with him. But I'm fearful of telling him that I am a virgin and waht his reaction may be - will he just run? I'm also fearful of him going back and telling his friends about this and them disucssing it but that's what we all do I suppose discuss matters with our friends and I cant exactly tell him not to talk about certain stuff with his friends as he;ll begin to think I;m some sort of control freak!

    So my questions to you are: how would you react if your gf told you she was a virgin? Should I even tell him at all or just hope for the best that he dosnt find out if we ever have sex together? Also if some of you reccomend telling you, when exactly should I say it to him - me bring it up as a conversation talk sometime or prior to the possibility of intimacy (as in few days before I think I may be ready to have sex with him)?

    Thanks for all your help and advice

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    I would be annoyed and worried, because we've been having sex for the last six years now.
    Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from bad decisions.

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    Definitely tell him, because if you try to have sex his is going to know from the pain and uncomfortability it's going to cause you(don't be scurred). Just tell him that you're nervous, but you really like him, and presumably you want him to take your virginity??

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    Just say hey, I wanted to talk to you about something pretty important. Tell him he's the first serious guy you've dated, and that given that you're also obviously a virgin and are scared and nervous for the first time but appriciate how patient he's being with you. Tell him you're not ready for it yet, but you do very much like him, and enjoy doing the sexual stuff you do now. If he's the guy you think he is (nice, sweet, caring...) this won't phase him. In fact it will probably turn on a light bulb NO WONDER she's not ripping off my clothes, no wonder we're moving slow... He'll begin to grasp the situation better and realize it's not that you don't want to sleep with him at all- you're just waiting a little longer for the right time to have your first time. Be honest, and talk to him. If he's anything but a real asshole he's not going to run. And if he does tell his friends and they're not total assholes either it's not a big deal- you're not a hoe, so? Isn't that a good thing?

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    Any decent, respectful man will respond with kindness and understanding. If he gets all bent out of shape, he's an ass. If he tries to pressure you into having sex with him, he's an ass. There is no reason you telling him that you're a virgin should change how he behaves with you.

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    Actually, I think I'd be a bit scared.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetpea10 View Post
    So my questions to you are: how would you react if your gf told you she was a virgin?
    I would change this immediately.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetpea10 View Post
    Guys, how would you react if your gf told you she was a virgin?
    i would say "no way !! prove it to me !!!"

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    Damn, am I the only one that would get excited if my gf told me she was a virgin? I think its pretty awesome knowing that your chick thinks so highly of you that she wants to give you her virginity. I remember when virginity was sacred and I'm only 24......smh.

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    I'd tell her I was only planning to use her for sex so she may as well find someone else if she wants her cherry popping day to be special.
    God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.
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    it shouldn't matter whether you are one or not. you'll learn eventually.


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    ...this is just my perspective on the situation...

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    Quote Originally Posted by lahnnabell View Post
    Any decent, respectful man will respond with kindness and understanding. If he gets all bent out of shape, he's an ass. If he tries to pressure you into having sex with him, he's an ass. There is no reason you telling him that you're a virgin should change how he behaves with you.
    Lahnnabell is spot on. Its a very special "badge" if you will to have. I think too many people today just give it away. And regardless of how the relationship turns out, I think its awesome that you are in no rush. Especially in your 20s. But to answer your question, Lahnnabell says it best. If I were to have a girl tell me that, it would put ME in the position to wait. And if you two have been together for the past 6 months and he hasnt brought up intimacy, then he more than likely isnt in it for the bedroom, OR HE ALREADY KNOWS and is WAITING FOR YOU TO BE READY and doesnt want to pressure you!!!! (Crossed fingers!!!) Keep us discreetely posted as to how things are working for you. But I am willing to bet he will take it with the utmost respect towards you.
    Same song and dance.
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    When I told my bf he said he was flattered. It made him feel special and he was really supportive and understanding. I think how he reacts is definitely a testament to his character. You should definitely tell him though...he will find out if you don't and that could potentially make the situation worse if he didn't have a head's up.

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    I wouldn't mind it one bit, I hope she would be honest with me about it, but yeah i wouldn't mind.

    Sweetpea, if you have been dating 6 months and nothing has happened, he probably suspects it anyway.

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    Personally, after three months I would've suspected something. He may already assume, or have some logical explanation thought up (sexual trauma?). At least that's what I'd think. He seems to be a pretty decent guy if he hasn't taken off already. He might even feel honored if you told him and then mentioned that you have been considering him as the potential first.

    (By the way I'm actually in the US despite my flag, so there may be some cultural differences in thought processes)

    Go for it, I HIGHLY doubt it would be a big deal: at our age most people (at least most people I know our age) will be impressed. If they joke about it then I would consider them to be easily forgettable simpletons and proceed to laugh about how silly you feel for worrying about this.

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