Just found out my GF has slept with a lot of guys...

[jwer]

Hmmm.. not the reactions I was expecting.

Gigabitch, my girl is not pure. Why should I be? If I bone a bunch of girls, why wouldn't sex become more physical for me? How would it not help me overcome the hurt that I feel about my girl having deep emotional sex with 10 other guys?

xxazurexx, it doesn't matter to me when it happened but THAT it happened. She has an experience that I don't have, that I now WANT to have. Agreed that I am a bit 'touched in the head', but I feel like this could be a real solution to my problems. Do you suggest that I just break up with her (because I am small-minded and can't get over this) and then go **** a bunch of girls? I WANT MINE DAMNIT. If she really loves me she would consider doing this for me, despite my obvious fault in not being able to deal with this, right? I want to go sew my wild oats like she has, I WANT TO MAKE A NEW OPPORTUNITY FOR MYSELF. I really love this girl and made commitments to her based on my prior (if delusional) understanding of our relationship but the fact remains that I'm not ready to be tied down, especially with what I see as a gross inequality.

[jwer]

That will never work. If you want out to sleep around you lose her forever.

You should say you're growing and learning and through this you've realized you *need* these experiences as part of your life. That doesn't mean you don't love her it means you've got to take care of yourself.

What part will never work out? The part where I tell her explicitly what I plan to do during our break? Or is it the whole part about wanting to **** other girls?

[lahnnabell]

I've never seen a "break" work out in the long run.

[xxazurexx]

xxazurexx, it doesn't matter to me when it happened but THAT it happened. She has an experience that I don't have, that I now WANT to have. Agreed that I am a bit 'touched in the head', but I feel like this could be a real solution to my problems. Do you suggest that I just break up with her (because I am small-minded and can't get over this) and then go **** a bunch of girls? I WANT MINE DAMNIT. If she really loves me she would consider doing this for me, despite my obvious fault in not being able to deal with this, right? I want to go sew my wild oats like she has, I WANT TO MAKE A NEW OPPORTUNITY FOR MYSELF. I really love this girl and made commitments to her based on my prior (if delusional) understanding of our relationship but the fact remains that I'm not ready to be tied down, especially with what I see as a gross inequality.

Never mind if she loved you, she would let you do this. If you loved her, you wouldn't want to do this and hurt her and because trust me, she will and would be hurt by this LUDICROUS suggestion.

You expect to bed all and sundry and expect your woman to agree and be happy with this setup.

My ex had been with more women than me. But I didn't feel a need to get EVEN and ask him if it was ok for a seperation so that I could bed other guys to get an 'equal' number...

I find you and your thoughts, very pathetic.

And if your gf has one ounce of sense, she will ditch you and never look back - I hope she does anyway.

[xxazurexx]

the fact remains that I'm not ready to be tied down, ...

Then let her go for good and to find a decent man.

And don't go 'sniffing' back and when you've had your fill of sleeping around.

[jwer]

Never mind if she loved you, she would let you do this. If you loved her, you wouldn't want to do this and hurt her and because trust me, she will and would be hurt by this LUDICROUS suggestion.

You expect to bed all and sundry and expect your woman to agree and be happy with this setup.

My ex had been with more women than me. But I didn't feel a need to get EVEN and ask him if it was ok for a seperation so that I could bed other guys to get an 'equal' number...

I find you and your thoughts, very pathetic.

And if your gf has one ounce of sense, she will ditch you and never look back - I hope she does anyway.

You know, this comment is in no way helpful. Your animosity towards me has no place in these forums and your typos are confusing.. "Never mind if she loved you, she would let you do this." Did you mean she WOULDN'T let me do this? Please help me out. Also, it appears that you really have no understanding of the psychology surrounding this issue.. that it is a deeply ingrained instinct that all males have. You may not feel uncomfortable at all that your guy has had more partners than you, but that is YOU, and YOU are female. A double standard exists and many of us still succumb to it.. go read the post [url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-female-forum/42743-gf-has-slept-lot-guys.html[/url] for some background before posting again.

Then let her go for good and to find a decent man.

And don't go 'sniffing' back and when you've had your fill of sleeping around.

Why not? This isn't about love. This is about sex as a physical action.

Sex aside, I REALLY LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND and SHE REALLY LOVES ME. Why wouldn't she help me overcome something I am having so much trouble over? That is, with sex being JUST sex.

Also, you don't know much about me, only that I have this ugly problem surrounding my girlfriend's sexual history. I will have you know that I am the best thing to ever happen to this girl relationship-wise--she's told me that herself. I am so kind to her and good to her and I treat her right all of the time. That is who I am. What I am doing here is trying to get something for myself for a change.

I've never seen a "break" work out in the long run.

My parents had a 'break' just like this before they got married and now, 30 years later, they're still strong. My best friend had a break like this, DURING WHICH, his girl slept around and experimented. They're back together, in love, with a new baby boy. Also, my boss and his current wife had a break before marriage and currently have a really great relationship--I know because I've seen it myself.

Then let her go for good and to find a decent man.

And don't go 'sniffing' back and when you've had your fill of sleeping around.

Why shouldn't I go back to her when I've had my fill of sleeping around? That what she did when she met me.. she had slept around and had gotten tired of it. Then she looked for something more and she found ME. I want to sleep around, get tired of it, and re-find HER. Is that so wrong? I want to be solid.

[xxazurexx]

You know, this comment is in no way helpful. Your animosity towards me has no place in these forums and your typos are confusing.. "Never mind if she loved you, she would let you do this." Did you mean she WOULDN'T let me do this? Please help me out. Also, it appears that you really have no understanding of the psychology surrounding this issue.. that it is a deeply ingrained instinct that all males have. You may not feel uncomfortable at all that your guy has had more partners than you, but that is YOU, and YOU are female. A double standard exists and many of us still succumb to it.. go read the post [url]http://www.loveforum.net/ask-female-forum/42743-gf-has-slept-lot-guys.html[/url] for some background before posting again.

Oh right, so since when have you been the forum administrator and to decide that my comments have no place here?

Just because I don't say and what you would like to hear, it doesn't suit....well tough!

And what typos? My ENGLISH is perfectly understandable, asshole!!!

If you wanna act like an ass, expect to get spoken to and treated like an ass.

I have nothing further to add.

[xxazurexx]

Why shouldn't I go back to her when I've had my fill of sleeping around? That what she did when she met me.. she had slept around and had gotten tired of it. Then she looked for something more and she found ME. I want to sleep around, get tired of it, and re-find HER. Is that so wrong? I want to be solid.

She slept around and before meeting you, dunce!!

You are talking of breaking from her so you can sleep around.

I hope she turns the tables on you and while you are shagging different women, she is shagging wayyyy more men.
What you gonna do?? Keep on shagging and until you catch up to her number and so you feel muchly better?...uhm LOL!!

How old are you? 16?

[lahnnabell]

My ex and I tried a break like this. He was attracted to a coworker and wanted to sleep with her. Stupidly, I let it happen. We agreed that we were both allowed to hook up with other people, but would stay committed to each other. After my ex slept with this chick, he was no longer attracted to her. I hooked up with an ex boyfriend, and made out with a new guy during that time. After I told my boyfriend what had happened, he screamed and bitched at me. He told me he couldn't believe what I had done. Our relationship slowly fell apart after that.

To the OP, the thing you must understand during this break is that you may not get her back. Her feelings may change too drastically during this "break". She may meet someone else who doesn't resent her for having more sexual experience. This "break" does not guarantee you a place in her heart whenever you feel like coming back to her. Do you understand that you could lose her permanently?

[Lovable]

What a freaking MORON you are OP!

I hope when you talk to your girlfriend she dumps your ass but GOOD!! Then you can go **** all the chicks you want.

Get over yourself, EVERYONE has a past. Hell even you do, it may not be messing around with alot of women, but you have a past. If you truly loved her, this wouldn't matter to you as she loves you. If you are the best thing that's ever happened to her & she's told you, why isn't that enough for you??

Oh & having to have more sexual partners over the other person in a relationship ISN'T ingrained in every man's head!! WHY because not every man is a headcase like you are.

Get over it & get over yourself, this girl loves YOU although at this point I don't know why she's putting up with you all this long. If I was her I would have kicked your sorry ass to the curb long ago. There are plenty of men out there for her that won't bitch about having a possible few more sexual partners than her & treat her just as well, possibly even better. WHY??? Because they won't want to hurt her so deeply as to tell her, "hey babe I love you, but we need to take a break so I can go bone a few chicks to 'even the score'"

[Raze]

I agree with the above posters. You are acting like a jerk. She sounds like she really diggs you too.

[Gigabitch]

Even if you'd had sex with a hundred girls, you'll still be worried about the fact that one of the guys your gf had been with was better than you in bed. You're an insecure little twerp who is looking everywhere but at yourself to alleviate your anxieties.

Listen up: NOTHING you do will will ever make you feel like a confident, attractive man until you deal with what's going on inside your head. You should be focusing on that, not sticking your dick in every girl you meet.

[LailaK]

Why the hell did you guys talk about this sh*t in the first place?!!!

Frankly, what she did before you is none of your business as long as she's clean and vice versa. Opening up the door on how many people you've slept with is a quick way to a bunch of drama.

[Raze]

Why the hell did you guys talk about this sh*t in the first place?!!!

Frankly, what she did before you is none of your business as long as she's clean and vice versa. Opening up the door on how many people you've slept with is a quick way to a bunch of drama.

Definitely, I've made that mistake many times. I regret it every time. It's best to not know because you don't need to know. None of it matters.

[LailaK]

And another thing! You say your girlfriend "isn't pure". It's clear you resent her and think she's some kind of whore for sleeping with guys before she met you. This is not her problem. You're the one with the problem.

I think you two should break up. You obviously aren't going to get over your issues and she deserves to find someone who can love her for her and who won't hold her past against her. It sounds like she can do a lot better.