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Thread: Texting First.

  1. #1
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    Texting First.

    I'm a female and am a believer that if a guy really likes a girl, then he will pursue her... so that being said I usually ALWAYS wait for a guy to initiate conversation.. as in even after the first time after getting my number, I wait for him to contact me first for every conversation. This is with every guy.

    Does doing this show lack of interest? I act interested in convo, I just never initiate.
    Should it be 50/50? As in he texts me first one day and I text him first the next time and so on and so on..

    Thanks

  2. #2
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    Welcome to the 21st centry. I think that's a far too dated way IMO a HUGE lack of interest if you never ever decide to think of him and let him know 'first'.

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    Quote Originally Posted by girl68 View Post
    Welcome to the 21st centry. I think that's a far too dated way IMO a HUGE lack of interest if you never ever decide to think of him and let him know 'first'.
    Take this with a grain of salt. This is the woman who has sex with random friends and has 3,000 posts on a love forum.

    She's also been having some problems with some of her T.P.S. reports.

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    It's nice to be wooed, but guys like to feel like a woman is reciprocating. It is like positive feedback in a way. "Oh, she called me! I must be doing something right." I'm not saying you should always do this. I think it takes a lot more effort for guys to become emotionally attached to a woman (yes, a generalization based on my experience with men), and allowing them to pursue gives them a healthy dose of the chase they seem to enjoy. The less serious guys fall by the wayside and you can make a better decision.

    However, the need to be wooed also lies in the desire for attention. Some guys are just shy and may need some positive feedback from you to continue to pursue. If he feels like he's not affecting you enough to reciprocate a little, he may just ditch the whole effort.

    And honestly, avoid texting at first. They're great for short little messages and updates, but texts are emotionless and become tiresome. They are easily misconstrued because everyone interprets them differently. If I call someone and they don't answer, I leave a voicemail specifically asking them to call me back. I feel a better connection when I can hear someone's voice.

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    *face palm* confused, is exactly what you are.

    bell makes good points- receiprocation is always nice when you're having sex do you just lay there? "because the man should do all the work?"

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    I think making him initiate more than half of the time is a good guideline, but not EVERY time. That makes you look disinterested.
    Spammer Spanker

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    Thanks everyone!! I appreciate it

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    I think it's better to let the guy initiate most of the time - about 80%, for the first month or two. Otherwise we get blase because we think it's in the bag. Once you're both settled in a relationship it's fine to dop back to 50/50.

    More subtle encouragement is fine to let him know you're interested at first. Just finishing a text message with something like "hopefully see you soon," for example.
    Is it burnin'? Well, f-ck, now you're learnin'.

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    He gets my number, then I await him calling and he does if he's interested.

    I agree with CharlieBoy....let him be the main initiator for the first month or two and only initiate occasionally. You are reciprocating your interest and when you pick up his calls/answer a text.

    Never ever show a guy more interest, than he's showing you

  10. #10
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    I also hate it to wait. sometimes I get so mad because you know, he's online and all the stuff and he does not text you. Before we [url=http://www.insiderdating.de/]date[/url] it was so different -.-

  11. #11
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    Basically,

    You like him, you think he is gorgeous, YOU ASK HIM OUT

    Your then more likely to find the men that are right for you because you can pick rather than them picking you and it not going to well.

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    If you're always waiting for him to initiate a conversation maybe he feels you're not interested in talking to him. Maybe he feels your feelings towards him are luke warm at best.
    Start talking to him more, give him some incentive to pursue you further. Also its the 21st century its ok for a woman to pursue a guy

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    Quote Originally Posted by lahnnabell View Post
    It's nice to be wooed, but guys like to feel like a woman is reciprocating. It is like positive feedback in a way. "Oh, she called me! I must be doing something right." I'm not saying you should always do this. I think it takes a lot more effort for guys to become emotionally attached to a woman (yes, a generalization based on my experience with men), and allowing them to pursue gives them a healthy dose of the chase they seem to enjoy. The less serious guys fall by the wayside and you can make a better decision.

    However, the need to be wooed also lies in the desire for attention. Some guys are just shy and may need some positive feedback from you to continue to pursue. If he feels like he's not affecting you enough to reciprocate a little, he may just ditch the whole effort.

    And honestly, avoid texting at first. They're great for short little messages and updates, but texts are emotionless and become tiresome. They are easily misconstrued because everyone interprets them differently. If I call someone and they don't answer, I leave a voicemail specifically asking them to call me back. I feel a better connection when I can hear someone's voice.
    this is good advice too

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by loznaz18 View Post
    Basically,

    You like him, you think he is gorgeous, YOU ASK HIM OUT

    Your then more likely to find the men that are right for you because you can pick rather than them picking you and it not going to well.
    ahhahahahhahaha no

  15. #15
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    ahhahahahhahaha no
    ahahahahahaahahhahah wtf

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