Need advice on how to keep this conversation going

[R0aDRuNN3R5]

So there is this girl that I think is really cute but I haven't ever talked to her, and I figured now I'm not going to see her much often I'll her how I feel, so I did.

I messaged to her something along the lines of I think your really cute, etc. etc.
She said "awww so your that guy" and I replied "Yep thats me!"

And I saw she was on today to reply to the message but I might wait another day or too to send another message. What should I say to keep the conversation going????

[abbytaylor209]

Do you know this girl well? Or is it just a girl you've seen a few times and are physically attracted to?

[R0aDRuNN3R5]

No we've crossed paths a lot but never really talk, I had like a 5 min deep conversation with her about what she likes in a guy and stuff and then what I posted earlier is how it ended. She has a boyfriend, but I want going to send her another message saying something along the lines of "Maybe sometime we can go out to diner or something as friends and get better acquainted." Got any suggestions?

[Fene]

No we've crossed paths a lot but never really talk, I had like a 5 min deep conversation with her about what she likes in a guy and stuff and then what I posted earlier is how it ended. She has a boyfriend, but I want going to send her another message saying something along the lines of "Maybe sometime we can go out to diner or something as friends and get better acquainted." Got any suggestions?

If I was her boyfriend and you invited my girlfriend out to dinner my next plan of action would be finding out where you live..
But seriously if she's taken and she's happy in her relationship it would probably be best to just move on and avoid any heart ache / black eyes..

[R0aDRuNN3R5]

If I was her boyfriend and you invited my girlfriend out to dinner my next plan of action would be finding out where you live..
But seriously if she's taken and she's happy in her relationship it would probably be best to just move on and avoid any heart ache / black eyes..

Thanks, and odds are if they break up she might still remember what I told her in mind. Like the offer's always on the table kind of?

[abbytaylor209]

Well, the fact that she has a boyfriend creates kind of a roadblock in this situation. There's nothing wrong with wanting to get to know her better or even take her for coffee (I wouldn't try the dinner thing, thats a little too much like a date, and might scare her away). Keep talking to her like you are now and if you feel like she wants to get to know you better as well, then maybe suggest meeting for coffee. Always keep in mind that she is in a relationship and respect that. Avoid questions about her boyfriend, just ask friendly questions that show you just want to get to know her better as a person.

[R0aDRuNN3R5]

Well, the fact that she has a boyfriend creates kind of a roadblock in this situation. There's nothing wrong with wanting to get to know her better or even take her for coffee (I wouldn't try the dinner thing, thats a little too much like a date, and might scare her away). Keep talking to her like you are now and if you feel like she wants to get to know you better as well, then maybe suggest meeting for coffee. Always keep in mind that she is in a relationship and respect that. Avoid questions about her boyfriend, just ask friendly questions that show you just want to get to know her better as a person.

That's the problem, I don't drink coffee and we're not at the age we're people like us go on "coffee get-togethers"

[abbytaylor209]

How old are you if you don't mind me asking? When I say coffee I don't mean you have to get coffee. I'm not a coffee drinker either. But Starbucks and places like that serve smoothies, tea, muffins, all that stuff. You don't need to get coffee. Anyway, besides that point, when do you exactly cross paths with this girl? Is she in your same circle of friends, do you see her at work? How did you meet her?

[Fene]

Thanks, and odds are if they break up she might still remember what I told her in mind. Like the offer's always on the table kind of?

Yeah I guess you could try to stay behind the scenes as her friend in the event that she does break up with him.. But I wouldn't try to encourage her in anyway to break up, even though you really like her. As I always believe, if they break up with their current partner to be with you what's stopping them from doing it again in the future to be with someone else?

Also the stuff i've been reading about meeting women says not to give direct compliments to women who hardly know you or admit your feelings to them as they'll most likely to perceive this as needy behaviour.

[R0aDRuNN3R5]

How old are you if you don't mind me asking? When I say coffee I don't mean you have to get coffee. I'm not a coffee drinker either. But Starbucks and places like that serve smoothies, tea, muffins, all that stuff. You don't need to get coffee. Anyway, besides that point, when do you exactly cross paths with this girl? Is she in your same circle of friends, do you see her at work? How did you meet her?

I'm 18 she's probably 16, and we always crossed paths in school but I graduated and by the times she graduates I will be joining the Navy. We always had some passionate look when we crossed paths and whenever I didn't look a friend would tell me how she "eye-raped" me. Eventaully just to get it off my chest I told her she was beautiful.

And how would I change my saying: Go out to lunch (not as serious), have a get-together, meet in person?????

[abbytaylor209]

Well is there any ice cream places near you? I would just avoid any kind of sit-down restaurant where you order, because that's just too much like a date. When I was 18 I was going to Starbucks for coffee. Anyone can find something they like there, or at a coffee type of place. It's just a casual atmosphere thats good for this kind of situation. The key is is just to not ask her too quickly. Keep talking to her and getting to know her better.

[Fene]

If you're going to ask her out somewhere you don't want it to seem like a date.. Just talk to her about how you and your friends always have a great time when you go out and mention that you're sure she'd have a great time too if she came out with you. As this isn't asking her to come out with you on a one to one basis and instead assures her that you'll be in a group so it won't seem like a date. This way you can show her what a great guy you are (I hope) and how you're fun to be around.

[amb5059]

If she already has a boyfriend, Then it is probably best for you to back off and not move in any further

Good Luck in the future.