How much longer can I go without sex? What's the deal with her?

**competitive2** · 21-07-10, 02:30 PM

I think over 8 months of dating and a couple serious conversations about it is enough preparation.

**competitive2** · 22-07-10, 05:08 AM

we cuddled last night on my bed and that's all we did. at one point my hard on wouldn't go down and she wasn't doing anything about it. i turned around to stop the boner because it resting on her ass/leg was too much and she tried to cuddle with me again, and i drew further away as she touched me and tried to hold me.

cuddling is getting harder and harder for me to do. and yet she wants to cuddle more and more lately.

**Incognito** · 22-07-10, 09:07 PM

Try being married to a woman who wants you to spoon her and then she gets so close that your hard cock is between her ass cheeks...... and then no sex. F*cking sucks.

**60mm** · 23-07-10, 11:49 PM

There's only 2 ways she can "just have no desire to add sex" to your relationship.

A. She's not attracted to you physically. Dump her.
B. She's got serious abuse issues. Be ready for a long long haul and no sex for possibly a very long time or move on.

I've had plenty of experience with B myself and even in that case considering all you've said I say move on. Sorry man. :/ If you wait until September you'll just end up resenting her even more and getting hurt by it more.

**competitive2** · 24-07-10, 08:38 AM

What are some questions I can ask her as to why it hasn't happened yet?

I've probably asked them already but maybe there's something I haven't thought of.

**60mm** · 25-07-10, 10:55 AM

There's no questions to this one man unless she's saving it for marriage, which obviously isn't it man. It's obvious you're really striving to find a way but you should really let it go, heal up and find someone who's ready for a relationship. She isn't. If you can't find the will to let her go then be prepared for a long and quite possibly fruitless wait. You're only hope, and it's a terrible one at that, is that she was abused and it's hitting her. I've dealt with this in both girlfriends and myself, it can pop up and become a huge roadblock in your life even after you've had sex before with no problems. Even in this scenario you're chances are near nothing if you're the first person it's posed problems for. Maybe later on when she's had time in her life to sort it out but most likely not now. I'd let her go.

**ecojeanne** · 25-07-10, 11:09 AM

it's natures cruel twist, girls in their 20's tend to be less into sex than the guys of the same age. and then by the time she turns 30 she wants it more than a horny male teen.. men her age can't get it up anymore....

**PavlodarSwede** · 26-07-10, 07:11 PM

You're looking for a magic question or magic speech that is going to get you laid and it isn't going to happen. But I agree with all the others here that said you need to find out why she won't? You just need to sit her down, sit across from each other and talk straight. Explain everything you've done - all the gentlemanly things, all the patience, all the love and respect for her wishes. Then tell her about how sex isn't just lust, but a further expression of your love for one another, a chance to connect at the next level. Tell her you want that connection, have wanted it for a long time, have tried to press it without going over the line, but either she's going to have sex with you or she isn't.

If she can't answer you when you're being calm, caring, and logical, then you need to accept that it isn't going to happen and she isn't going to talk about it. If she can open up and be honest, great. But if not, then you need to decide can you accept her rejection in this arena?

**competitive2** · 30-07-10, 10:05 AM

the condom broke as i unrolled it. **** you durex

it's like i'm cursed to stay a virgin.

**Mish** · 30-07-10, 11:50 AM

Originally Posted by competitive2

I think over 8 months of dating and a couple serious conversations about it is enough preparation.

What preparation do you mean?

I was talking about telling her about your deadline so she realizes how important this issue to you, that you are about to leave her over it. She needs to be aware before you leave her.

**Incognito** · 30-07-10, 08:14 PM

Originally Posted by competitive2

the condom broke as i unrolled it. **** you durex

it's like i'm cursed to stay a virgin.

Wow. Was it in your wallet before you opened it?

**girl68** · 31-07-10, 02:22 AM

Doesn't matter you would have put in on and she would have said "just hold me babY"

**Keneji** · 31-07-10, 05:15 AM

"I would do anything for her, and she knows this."

That is the main reason why nothing will change until YOU change. She needs to feel wanted but not to the extent where she feels smothered. My Girl at one point went 3 months where she wouldnt give me anything. If anything she would push me away. i learned that only when i started acting as if i didnt want it was when she actually was getting concerend and one day it got to a point where she started offering it to me. Read your quote(up there) like 5 times and let it hit you the way it hit me.

**Sonrisa** · 31-07-10, 05:32 AM

Originally Posted by Keneji

"I would do anything for her, and she knows this."

That is the main reason why nothing will change until YOU change. She needs to feel wanted but not to the extent where she feels smothered. My Girl at one point went 3 months where she wouldnt give me anything. If anything she would push me away. i learned that only when i started acting as if i didnt want it was when she actually was getting concerend and one day it got to a point where she started offering it to me. Read your quote(up there) like 5 times and let it hit you the way it hit me.

yeah, girls prefer a challenge just as much as men do.

**competitive2** · 07-08-10, 02:59 PM

Still a virgin.

2 weeks left and I'm done with her.

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