How much longer can I go without sex? What's the deal with her?

[iHEARTu]

Yes, he basically does want to do her, you're totally right. He wants to "do" his girlfriend of one year, the one who suggests sex all the time but never follows through. Yes.

But at least now the OP has someone who agrees with his decision to stay in a bad relationship. Ya'll should friend each other.

How is waiting for sex a bad relationship? Or how does that define a bad relationship? Have you read that his girlfriend is planning something special for him? Or says she is at least. I wouldn't know since I don't know her.

He himself says she's not a bad person- she just doesn't want to do it with him yet.

Wow. I can't believe your relationships all revolve around sex. O.O that's not really healthy. Unless it's a short term relationship? Competitive2, do you want to be with this girl in the long haul? :O if so, then I stick to what I've said. If not and you just want the sex- then I think you can do what everyone else says and dump her because you can get that anywhere.

Though I think that you do love her.. So just sayin.

[Radarsonar]

How is waiting for sex a bad relationship? Or how does that define a bad relationship? Have you read that his girlfriend is planning something special for him? Or says she is at least. I wouldn't know since I don't know her.

He himself says she's not a bad person- she just doesn't want to do it with him yet.

Wow. I can't believe your relationships all revolve around sex. O.O that's not really healthy. Unless it's a short term relationship? Competitive2, do you want to be with this girl in the long haul? :O if so, then I stick to what I've said. If not and you just want the sex- then I think you can do what everyone else says and dump her because you can get that anywhere.

Though I think that you do love her.. So just sayin.

You're being unfair here. It's one thing to tell your boyfriend you're not ready for sex and he'll have to wait, but to string him along for months on end with the promise of sex? It's not because he wants sex with his girlfriend that he *only* wants sex from her. If that were the case he never would have waited 9 months for it in the first place.

There's something wrong with this relationship, period. She doesn't respect his feelings, whereas he respects hers too much. Better break up now and be done with it.

[iHEARTu]

You're being unfair here. It's one thing to tell your boyfriend you're not ready for sex and he'll have to wait, but to string him along for months on end with the promise of sex? It's not because he wants sex with his girlfriend that he *only* wants sex from her. If that were the case he never would have waited 9 months for it in the first place.

There's something wrong with this relationship, period. She doesn't respect his feelings, whereas he respects hers too much. Better break up now and be done with it.

Ahhh touché. That makes sense. I suppose her way of thinking is weird... :S but maybe she's waiting so that there'll be like a big bang so to speak. Uhm. Like the building up to your birthday and you get all excited and stuff...? Oh well. I'm not sure now. I don't see why women would intentionally make a man she 'loves' wait for so long. But I'm just saying. People need to compromise and be honest about their feelings and stuff. Oh welllll. Competitive2, good luck. Because I'm similar to you in the fact that I'd be frustrated but I'd try to keep waiting coz I love her. But I guess you DO have to pay attention to your needs as well..

So... Good luck!

[RdHrshyKss]

Ahhh touché. That makes sense. I suppose her way of thinking is weird... :S but maybe she's waiting so that there'll be like a big bang so to speak. Uhm. Like the building up to your birthday and you get all excited and stuff...? Oh well. I'm not sure now. I don't see why women would intentionally make a man she 'loves' wait for so long. But I'm just saying. People need to compromise and be honest about their feelings and stuff. Oh welllll. Competitive2, good luck. Because I'm similar to you in the fact that I'd be frustrated but I'd try to keep waiting coz I love her. But I guess you DO have to pay attention to your needs as well..

So... Good luck!

i think the underlying issue is that she's had sex before and the guy left her afterwards. so being as immature as she is, she's trying to keep him in the relationship by stringing him along...obviously not a healthy way to get someone to stay with you. she dangles the idea of sex in front of him and NEVER follows through. i can't even remember the number of times the OP mentioned that intimacy would get to such a heated point between them that he'd be told to get a condom, to only come back to hear her say "yeah, nm, i'm not ready". and she's done this over and over again. she is teasing him. trying to get him to stay with her by dragging out the point that they finally have sex. and i'm sorry, but doing this, stringing the OP along like that for as long as she has, will only make the sex LESS enjoyable. the OP is a virgin, and i don't think his first experience will be much of a pleasurable one with this broad.

she's completely controlling him and THAT is why i suggest he dump her ass. she needs to grow up and realize that dangling sex in front of a guy like that for LONG periods of time, is not the right way to keep a relationship going. she's really ignorant in my opinion, and so is the OP for staying with her.

[iHEARTu]

i think the underlying issue is that she's had sex before and the guy left her afterwards. so being as immature as she is, she's trying to keep him in the relationship by stringing him along...obviously not a healthy way to get someone to stay with you. she dangles the idea of sex in front of him and NEVER follows through. i can't even remember the number of times the OP mentioned that intimacy would get to such a heated point between them that he'd be told to get a condom, to only come back to hear her say "yeah, nm, i'm not ready". and she's done this over and over again. she is teasing him. trying to get him to stay with her by dragging out the point that they finally have sex. and i'm sorry, but doing this, stringing the OP along like that for as long as she has, will only make the sex LESS enjoyable. the OP is a virgin, and i don't think his first experience will be much of a pleasurable one with this broad.

she's completely controlling him and THAT is why i suggest he dump her ass. she needs to grow up and realize that dangling sex in front of a guy like that for LONG periods of time, is not the right way to keep a relationship going. she's really ignorant in my opinion, and so is the OP for staying with her.

Yknow when you say it like that it makes lot of sense. :O well. okay then. I guess it would make more sense for him to dump her... Though I can't help but be like "...but if he loves her... So they shouldn't break uppp." >_<;;;

And ultimately I guess it's his choice. So really, now it's more of a- "as long as you're happy, then all's good." kinda thing..

[competitive2]

Hey OP, if you could go back in time to when you first started dating her and could tell yourself, "Hi there. Heads up, this girl is going to tease the life out of you, but she isn't going to sleep with you for at least a year," would you have ended it sooner?

It's hard.

On one hand, if I knew it was gonna be like this a year later, I'd have remained friends with her. I'm in too deep right now, if I end it I'll hurt her and that's not something I want to do.

On the other hand, because of her, I've experienced love and knowing there's somebody I can talk to and rely on at all times. No regrets there.

I appreciate iHEARTu's posts a lot. It's a new refreshing view point. I don't agree with it 100%, but I agree with some.

I'll respond to some posts soon, I've been busy.

[competitive2]

It might be all over.

We had plans to spend the day together alone. Been planned all week and she canceled it about 2 hours before I was supposed to meet her. She had unexpected guests. That's not the first time it's happened.


I ignored her calls and texts for the rest of the day. Didn't want to talk to her. Didn't even want to think about her.

Spoke to her briefly this morning and told her I need time to think about stuff. I think she was expecting me to break up with her.

I called her earlier and she didn't answer the phone.


I feel like this relationship is dead. Not even sex can save it.

Next time I see her I'm gonna tell her I've had enough and she either ****s me or I tell her to go **** herself.

[girl68]

LOL sorry man but umm yeah: we told you so... for 10 pages we all told you so.

[RdHrshyKss]

i wouldn't even bother bringing up the sex tidbit. even if she were to spread her legs for you, you still wouldn't be happy. she treats you like a dog, and you've been acting like one the entire time. time for you to go out and find a girl who will actually appreciate you and show you some love.

[competitive2]

I'm really considering just not trying anymore and pursuing sex even more. If she doesn't like it, she dumps me.

I think I deserve to **** this girl once. Then I'll dump her.

A year, no sex then dumping her wouldn't be doing me any justice.

A year, sex and a **** you, then dumping her would make her think about things and how she ****ed up.

[MerryH]

No. Don't do that.

I hope you just wrote this out of frustration and aren't seriously considering it. Doing that would make you a tremendous asshole. I don't think that's the type of person you are. And you're not completely blameless for your sexual situation, so don't take something that you're both at fault for and use it as a final "**** you."

Plus, just a few days ago, you posted:

because of her, I've experienced love and knowing there's somebody I can talk to and rely on at all times. No regrets there.

You still care about her, so it would be really ****ed up of you to further damage her already huge sexual issues. Just dump her. That will hurt her enough.

[red_sparrow]

Christ.

telling you she loves her 20 times a day?

a LITTLE clingy...

[Avg.]

It's one thing to not be comfortable with having sex and making it known, it's another to LEAD YOU ON and say naughty things to get in your head.

Don't know what your girl's problem is, but she's hiding something from you. Be it insecurities or commitment problems, it's taking a toll on you and if she really loved you she would spare you this headache.

She's not a virgin. She's been physically active with other people before. Something's up. And she sounds flaky/inconsiderate.

Before you make any hasty decisions: YOU should kindly make considerate, KIND and well-communicated sexual advances and tell her you're ready to take the next step. Maybe she's just waiting for you to ask. If she does something weird after this, it's not even worth it. She's just seriously not ready to commit no matter what she claims.

[ammi00]

Why resurrecting a couple of months old threads?

[warriormaiden]

First thing that comes my head is: She's been hurt in the past, and she's trying to make sure this relationship is real before diving off.

What's the use of me saying be patient with her? Not like you're gonna listen.