Sick of it!!

[Kayla]

she does sound crazy. i feel a little sorry for her actually. everyone is laughing behind her back and now your bf (it seems was her only friend and felt sorry for her and like a typical man enjoyed the attention) is going to turn on her too. i feel sorry for her and the way this will inevitably end. my opinion is to maybe ease up on your jealousy/irritation, your feelings about her obsessive behavior have been validated. don't say or do anything more to encourage any kind of verbal conflict because the poor girl is obviously unaware of what she is doing because your bf didn't shun her (and from the way you describe her or at least hint at is she is a complete sad nerd with viscious looks) maybe you should give her a break. at least take it easy with the insults, i'm sure she's been shunned and insulted enough throughout her life. and from the sounds of it you knew your bf would never be with her anyway....you just find the poor girl annoying. put yourself in her shoes if you can and imagine how upset she would be if she really knew what was being said about her.

I do.. and I totally appreciate what you have said here. I get that.. which is why I come here to vent anonymously. I am now suddenly feeling very mean.. I sincerely do try to include her on things (like a party I recently had) but she ends up just pissing me off every time.. On the other hand, a part of me feels like she knows exactly what she is doing and does not care about my feelings or the fact that he is taken. I honestly dont know if she would be upset about what the other girls said about her- she seems to not care about anyone but herself and what my bf thinks of her. If she cared about not being shunned, she would be friends with everyone and not just stare at and follow around one person. She could hang out with the everyone else and be a part of the girls night outs, etc.. she just never comes. She only comes if she knows my bf is gonna be there and then puts all her effort into him. No one is actively "shunning" her- she is doing this to herself. So I guess I dont know which perspective to take on her.. compassionate and patient or totally pissed off (truth be told I go back and forth between the two).

I have chilled out alot and have totally stopped talking about it to him- and limit it to my closest girlfriends and this forum. The frustration is still there though and needs to come out!! I know it doesnt seem like it from this thread, but I am not a mean person.. this here is the ugly side of me that doesnt want to come out to anyone of any consequence.

[Kayla]

Also- My bf isnt going to turn on her.. he is just drawing lines.. I mean, she is driving by his house now and calling/texting him obsessively at late hours of the night. He is going to set boundaries, not cut her out. I know I need to do the same..

[nerdy_guy]

Also- My bf isnt going to turn on her.. he is just drawing lines.. I mean, she is driving by his house now and calling/texting him obsessively at late hours of the night. He is going to set boundaries, not cut her out. I know I need to do the same..

Just watch you back. He's not there for you 24/7. If she's driving by his house frequently, and she happens to see you there, you might just end up a victim of drive-by shooting

[Kayla]

Just watch you back. He's not there for you 24/7. If she's driving by his house frequently, and she happens to see you there, you might just end up a victim of drive-by shooting

nah, she isnt that kind of crazy. More like the whining, needy, kind of crazy. She is scared of her own shadow. If she got violent, I could kick her ass. But again- thats not the kind of crazy she is.

[nerdy_guy]

nah, she isnt that kind of crazy. More like the whining, needy, kind of crazy. She is scared of her own shadow. If she got violent, I could kick her ass. But again- thats not the kind of crazy she is.

Oh, she's just of of 'em regular, garden variety psycho bitches huh? Well, it has to start somewhere. I just hope it doesn't escalate to that. I bet you wouldn't want to stick your well-maintained foot up her nasty ass. you don't know what she has stuffed in there.

[Kayla]

Oh, she's just of of 'em regular, garden variety psycho bitches huh? Well, it has to start somewhere. I just hope it doesn't escalate to that. I bet you wouldn't want to stick your well-maintained foot up her nasty ass. you don't know what she has stuffed in there.

HAHAHA!! She probably has pictures of my bf and other things that he has touched stuffed in there. Just a guess.

And no I am not as ass kicker- I dont believe in violence.. but I can defend myself if I have to.

[IndiReloaded]

I just watched that youtube clip and it is hilarious!! I love the part where she starts licking the banana.. hahaha!

Except the girl going after my bf just looks stupid and isnt pretty like the bunny boiler in the video. the stalker in my life is more like a troll.

What is it that this woman does for a living? You said she was 35? She can't be crazy in her day-to-day life. She must hold some kind of job?

[Kayla]

What is it that this woman does for a living? You said she was 35? She can't be crazy in her day-to-day life. She must hold some kind of job?

She is a graphic designer. My bf is a computer programmer so she thinks "computers" is another thing they have in common and she drones on and on about that with him, too. I dont know or ever care that much about computers so she thinks that gives her some sort of advantage over me. (she has attempted 'rub this in my face' although it doesn't work bc its stupid) Anyway, him and I talked about this last night, calmly and rationally. We both decided we really dont "get" her and her behavior- other than to say she is very immature. Because, Indi, you are right.. by all other measures (job, ect) she appears to be pretty normal.I may get angry/annoyed but I dont want to hurt her feelings and neither does he.... he told me he wants to handle it but still be nice to her. She is part of our social group (s) and cutting her off completely from everything would just be mean. She did text him last night asking him what he was doing this weekend- he said he had plans (which he does, with me).. then she started in with well "lets go to a movie" and started naming off days she was available to go. He shot down every one of her available days and she kept going!! saying "well how about tuesday? okay how about wedn? " etc.. etc.. until she covered an entire week!! .. anyway- you get the point...

This cant last forever so I guess I continue to let it go and let him handle it while I vent in this forum until it finally ends.... oh yeah- HE brought up the topic to me last night when we talked, so that is good.

[Gigabitch]

She needs to be set up on a blind date with someone.

[lahnnabell]

You know, I really think your boyfriend needs to straight up tell this girl that he is committed and that she needs to stop it with the come-on's. She hasn't gotten the hint yet, and you guys keep letting things happen at this pace, she may likely never get the hint. He doesn't have to be an asshole and hurt her feelings, but she's being disrespectful to the both of you and the fact that he's been blind to that for so long speaks of his social intelligence.

[IndiReloaded]

She did text him last night asking him what he was doing this weekend- he said he had plans (which he does, with me).. then she started in with well "lets go to a movie" and started naming off days she was available to go. He shot down every one of her available days and she kept going!! saying "well how about tuesday? okay how about wedn? " etc.. etc.. until she covered an entire week!! .. anyway- you get the point...

If this^ is how your BF is handling her, then I agree with Lahnna. There is something very weird about this. By now, I would have expected him to have told her to knock it off already. Computer scientists are only next to math and physics guys for social retardness, mind.

You know, I really think your boyfriend needs to straight up tell this girl that he is committed and that she needs to stop it with the come-on's. She hasn't gotten the hint yet, and you guys keep letting things happen at this pace, she may likely never get the hint. He doesn't have to be an asshole and hurt her feelings, but she's being disrespectful to the both of you and the fact that he's been blind to that for so long speaks of his social intelligence.

This^. He doesn't need to be rude, but he does need to step up his assertiveness in letting her know 'ain't gonna happen'.

[IndiReloaded]

This cant last forever so I guess I continue to let it go and let him handle it while I vent in this forum until it finally ends.... oh yeah- HE brought up the topic to me last night when we talked, so that is good.

This is good. It means your staying cool about the whole situation is getting noticed by him. He's starting to open up to you about it b/c he's not feeling defensive. Good job.

[Kayla]

yeah, he may be a little socially retarded.. it did take forever for him to even see that she was coming onto him in the first place. For the longest time, he told me I was over reacting and that she was "just trying to be his friend". It took the slow escalation of her psycho behavior for him to start seeing it.. like I said in earlier posts that it seemed as though he just didn't "get" it. He is just now starting to "get it" and agree with me on her true intentions (hence his reason for bringing this up to me last night).. so when he starts to see that his "subtle hint" approach isnt going to work, he is going to have to get blunt with her. I already know that she will not take the hint, he doesnt know that yet.. the only way he is gonna see this is by trying and seeing it not work (I know him). so-- I really think its best for me to let him continue to handle this his way. Sooner or later, he will end up doing what I told him he needed to do months ago (which is straight out tell her off)... but he needs to work that out on his own. I am just starting to figure him out too as far as stuff like this is concerned.. he can be a very cute and charming person but I think he lacks social perception in the area of girls/dating.. (which seems a sort of contradicting combination but I guess possible)..

Yeah-I agree- he is a little socially retarded but I like him anyway.. I am the exact opposite of him in the "social" category so I am just able to see these types of things way before he does. But I am trying to keep that in perspective and understand it for what it is. We have no other issues other than this- I dont want to make a huge dramatic issue out of something that I trust he will handle before it is all said and done. I am remaining very guarded though until this ends- until I can see for sure how he will ultimately handle this situation.

[lahnnabell]

Yeah, I agree that based on the way he's stubbornly handled things so far, he wouldn't take too kindly to you ordering him to write her off. Just keep with the cool head like you've been doing 'cause he clearly isn't attracted to psycho-behavior.

I had similar issues with my guy last year. He had a ex-gf/friend that would randomly message him spontaneously, always lightly touching upon what used to exist between them. He ignored her when she got like this, and now she's seeing some other guy and seems to be a lot less psycho-strange.

[Kayla]

Yeah, I agree that based on the way he's stubbornly handled things so far, he wouldn't take too kindly to you ordering him to write her off. Just keep with the cool head like you've been doing 'cause he clearly isn't attracted to psycho-behavior.

I had similar issues with my guy last year. He had a ex-gf/friend that would randomly message him spontaneously, always lightly touching upon what used to exist between them. He ignored her when she got like this, and now she's seeing some other guy and seems to be a lot less psycho-strange.

Yeah- you got it for sure. He DOES NOT like to be ordered around.. and to be honest, I dont blame him because who does?! I know I don't! This is one of the things I like about him- he makes his own choices and stands by them... so I am not gonna turn around and fault him when he acts true to himself. And no he is NOT attracted to her- never has been and never will be. He has made it very clear that he wouldn't date her even if I wasn't around... So my issue isnt worry that he is gonna hook up with her.. its just that she is annoying as SHIT.. and, yes, it is very frusterating that it is taking FOREVER for him to handle it.. but after the talk he initiated last night I feel very confident that he will eventually get it.

There is a party tonight (my party actually) and I did invite her because I didnt want to be a bitch.. him and I have already talked about how we are going to handle her inevitable psycho annoying behavior. ha-

I really dont get it at all... I have never ever seen anyone act like this before- esp at age 35!! what the hell.. i mean, is this some sort of mental thing she cant help? I really dont get it...