Ok here goes - Please don't hate me!

[Fade to black]

Last november I split from my wife of two and a half years and partner for twelve, I just didn't love her anymore.
We still got on well we never used to argue and even after twelve years the sex was still pretty great but for me there was just something lacking so I ended it.

Two weeks later, yes two weeks...., I met someone else and we began to see each other(dating). Now from the time my wife and I split until the end of January I was still living with her staying in the spare room for financial convenience for both of us and I was putting money aside so as to move out. All the while things were going great with my new girlfriend and things were remaining mostly civil with my ex.

I moved into a shared rental at the end of January, two weeks later I started to miss my wife I contacted her shortly afterwards to tell her so but she was having none of it. After an afternoon in a sports bar one saturday in which I stayed too long and a couple of drinks too many I went round to my girlfriends and told her how I was feeling, naturally she didn't take it too well though we didn't split as I told her it was her I wanted to be with, however my doubts about leaving my wife remained. In the meantime I continued to text and message my wife on Facebook and within a couple more weeks I had talked her round, so I ended it with my girlfriend and spent a weekend with my wife. Before the weekend was even out I was beginning to question had I done the right thing. So I got back in touch with my girlfriend and though it was quite difficult talked her round.
Once back with my girlfriend I was entirely happy in her company but when alone and at work the doubts about my wife lingered. Then about four weeks later it went full circle again, finished with girlfriend, went to wife, missed girlfriend, talked girlfriend round and again finished with wife and again the doubts returned this was around april. From then until three weeks ago I was with the girlfriend but remaining in contact with my wife telling her I was still unsure and missing her etc.

So three weeks ago my girlfriend and I were camping for the weekend on the west coast of Scotland and had a really great weekend but going into the weekend I had decided that afterwards I was going to end it with her and go back, for real, to my wife. On the sunday evening there was an atmosphere, naturally she picked up on it and later she instigated the conversation that led to us breaking up, again. At the time I thought great saves me the difficulty. So we ended and I spent a couple of days with my wife before I had to make a trip to Ireland. This was three days later and I started to miss my girlfriend I contacted her and told her so we met and had a tearful conversation but did not get back. My feelings of loss for her intensified and I was very uncomfortable around my wife and rather than hurt her again i said we needed to slow down, this was so I could buy myself time. I have continued to contact my girlfriend and have met her one further time and had an hour long telephone conversation as well as the odd text message but she is standing firm.

The crux of it is I have now realised my feelings for my wife were actually an inability to let go whereas the feelings for my girlfriend are genuine Love. I am now completely devastated and heartbroken at the loss of my girlfriend I am missing her so so badly and desperately want her back, like I say we have had contact but if I send her emotionally charged text messages she does not respond but does if they are just chit chat. She has tentatively agreed to meet for a drink tomorrow but says she doesn't want to go over it all again.

I wish to add that in my defence, although I'm not using it as an excuse I suffer from depression, stress and anxiety and around the time I left the marital home I had run out of meds and did not pick up my new prescription and went without for around two months.
Plus I am 37 years of age and have never ever behaved like this or been in an even remotley similiar situation before.

So girls hit me with it, just not too hard please, can I rectify the situation with my girlfriend who I love deeply or is it game over, I just wish I had realised how she actually meant to me beforehand and not got my self into this hellish situation.

[girl68]

Wow you must have a gi-normous penis or something. To screw with the ladies so many times over again.

You deserve neither, you need to be on your own until you truely appriciate what you've put THEM through.

[xxazurexx]

If they both had any sense, they'd tell you to piss off and for good.

Must be a great feeling for you and to play 'yo-yo' with peoples feelings and emotions...BRAVO to you.

NOT!

[vashti]

I'd feel sorry for your girlfriend AND your wife if they weren't so bloody stupid for taking you back time and time again. All I can do now is laugh.

[Fade to black]

If they both had any sense, they'd tell you to piss off and for good.

Must be a great feeling for you and to play 'yo-yo' with peoples feelings and emotions...BRAVO to you.

NOT!

Trust me I do not and never have felt good in all this, my emotions have been all over the place too.

There was the odd occasion where it seemed I was going to lose both and the calm I felt in those times was absolute.

I am a genuinely good guy who got himself embroiled in a bad situation

[xxazurexx]

I blame the women actually and for being so dumb as to put up with it. If they both told you to get lost, you couldn't act like as ass anymore.

All I can say is, they must be both hard up for another man...or they wouldn't take your crap. Or as Girl said, you are extremely well endowed or have a huge bank balance.

It's hard to have any sympathy.

[Fade to black]

I blame the women actually and for being so dumb as to put up with it. If they both told you to get lost, you couldn't act like as ass anymore.

All I can say is, they must be both hard up for another man...or they wouldn't take your crap. Or as Girl said, you are extremely well endowed or have a huge bank balance.

It's hard to have any sympathy.

I have neither.
I'm not looking for sympathy as I know I don't deserve any, just advice

Can things be reconciled with my girlfriend?, which is what I want more than anything in my life for a long long time

[girl68]

Honestly I hope not. I truely do not think you've learnt any lesson.

[anonymous12345]

I read half way thru the third paragraphs and i stopped there. My opinion of what kind of person you are have been made and i say you're a big asshole.

[xrwalker31x]

I am going to give probably one of the most ermm... not positive but constructive comments. You dont need me to tell you that your an asshole, you know that by now (hopefully). You have properly screwd up the lives of both of these women, entering in and out of their lives when you care it. I can see your not a bad person as a whole as you regret what you have done to them, you just did very bad things. Despite your recent eurika moment that you truly love your girlfriend, You need to leave both your wife and her alone for a while. If you really want to get back with her you need to give her time, even if she has to go out with someone else before you try her again. She needs reassurance you wont jump back to your wife, and the only way you can do that is to not go back to your wife again, You cant put a timescale on these things but it will definatley be in the months scale. You may just have to accept the fact you need to move on for good and leave her alone.

:/

[lahnnabell]

I bet that if you'd stayed with your girlfriend, you'd be saying you "truly" loved your wife, and that you're with your girlfriend because you have trouble letting go. You have been distorting truth and then seeking out ways to absolve your behavior.

I don't even trust what you're saying, so no advice from me.

[bluesummer]

I think you need to leave both of them alone and go get some counselling. You never gave yourself time to properly emotionally distance yourself from your wife for starters, and this new relationship is way too fast. I really doubt you 'love' this 'girlfriend'. I can't even call her a girlfriend, she sounds more like a rebound ****-buddy. She wasn't smart enough to realize that a man who ended his marriage two weeks earlier is not emotionally stable enough to date, and then she kept letting you bounce back and forth between herself and your wife. Holy issues.

No, I can't advise you how to get her back, because I truly believe she is finally doing something intelligent by refusing to get back with you. You're not ready for this, Fade. I think these feelings of 'love' you keep mentioning are just neediness, and your way of dealing with the end of your marriage. You need to deal with it alone, no women in the equation. You'll probably need a good amount of time.....not two weeks, not a month, not two months. Try like a year. If you really 'love' this woman, which I highly doubt is the truth on a deep emotional level, let her be.

[IndiReloaded]

Trust me I do not and never have felt good in all this, my emotions have been all over the place too.

Ha, noone here is questioning that you are in tune with YOUR feelings. What you don't get is that you clearly don't care about anyone else's BUT yours. Selfish to the nth degree. No advice from me except a wish for you grow up someday soon.

I read half way thru the third paragraphs and i stopped there. My opinion of what kind of person you are have been made and i say you're a big asshole.

Agreed^. This is one of the worst in a long time.

[TheTooya]

........10!

[Gigabitch]

You aren't in any state to be in a relationship with anyone. You clearly have NO idea whatsoever what you actually want, and being involved with these women is just confusing the issue.

Be single for a year. Get your head straight.