Ok, I'm being insecure and need help.

[Toxic106]

Well, I've been with my girlfriend for 3 months. Everything's awesome. Until one time she said she liked some boy very much and almost kissed him. She then broke up with me saying it wouldn't be fair if she stayed with me while liking someone else. She loved me, she said. And I love her loads. She said she only 'LIKE' this boy but... still.

Then, I was trying to be cool with that and said, 'whatever makes you happy'. I was crushed. Devastated. Lost and... And that's probably because she's my first real girlfriend... my first REAL relationship. I was soooo sad I can't.... yeah. I kept in touch with her. See her at school, and, do our usual stuff. Only without the kissing and the hugging and stuff. Then the day after we broke up, I acted.... 'normal' around her. As if we never had a relationship before. Like... before. Then she started being clingy, and stuff.... Sorry, long story short, we're back together the next day. She said she realized how important I was to her. This happened almost 2 weeks ago.

Now my problem is, at times, I remember how hurtful it was when she left me. How painful it was and stuff.... This insecurity of mine is really getting on my nerve. I want to trust her, I REALLY do. She said she wouldn't let me go ever again. She wouldn't make the same mistake twice. But the problem is, I just.... can't trust that. I really want to but I just... I don't wanna get hurt again. And, she's catching up on things. At times when I'm like... sad-ish, quiet, and stuff, she knows what I'm thinking and starts reassuring me again.

Problem is, if I keep this up, I fear that I really am going to lose her. I mean, there's only so many times she can reassure me. I don't want to be this insecure but... I'm an emotionally slow person. It takes me a LONG time to get over something... And I hate that. I need help in how to be more secure of our relationship and... yeah. Help, please? Thanks.

[alovehangoverr]

Well.. I know it's probably not what you want to hear, but there's no "quick fix" in getting over something like this.

It takes time.

In some situations, it can take a lot of time. Hell, sometimes people never get over something like that.

So all you can do is have a serious talk with her about how you're feeling & how you worry that your inability to get past this quickly is making you more insecure/nervous. Talking is good.

To be honest though, no matter how many times she reassures you & tells you she won't leave you.. it's not going to make a difference until you're able to believe it.

So, my advice? If you're sure you want to be in this relationship.. just try to enjoy it. You can still enjoy the time you have together while being mentally prepared in the event something like this might happen again. So, ask yourself.. what would you do if it happened again?

If after a while, you realize you can't move past this.. it's ok to end it. That was hard for me to come to terms with when my ex cheated on me (and just to add-- you should be glad she ended things with you before being with someone else.. most people would rather be cake eaters).

[angel2002]

Well.... She was confused, and I can see clearly when she said she loves you but likes him. There's no 'like' someone else when you are in love. Sorry if what Iam going to say is not what u want to hear.
She doesnt love you as much as you love her. She likes you tough, and she realized it when she lost you. Then thats why she wanted to get back, cause of the feeling of loss she felt. She didnt have the other boy, neither you anymore.
My advice: Do you really love her? Are you willing to get hurt again? Because your task in this relationship if you do love her and are willing to work out is '' make her truly love you''. It can happen or it might not happen, then its about you, how much effort and time you are willing to spend on it.
If you dont love her that much, move on. We deserve someone to love us for what we are. And you deserve someone to love you the way you love her.
Good luck with everything