going to different colleges...an hour away

[olive]

They’re probably lots of questions similar to this on here…so sorry if I’m being redundant

Here’s the situation (ha! Love saying that)…

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months. We were best friends before we started dating…we even went to preschool together. We did break up for about 2 months when we were both choosing colleges…we didn’t want our relationship to affect that choice. It was sad but probably the right thing at the time. Anyway, a few months ago he told me he missed me, and asked if we could give it another try. I loved him and still do, so obviously I said yes.

Turns out we chose colleges that are about an hour away…which isn’t so bad. We figured I could drive down to see him one weekend a month, and he could come up for me the next. We already live 30 mins away…so we’re kinda used to driving to see each other.

Still, I didn’t want to waste his time, or mine, if we weren’t both serious about staying together.
So I asked him what he thought. He said that he wants to make it work…at least try.
Then he said, “This probably sounds really weird, but I can honestly see us getting married in the future.” Obviously nothings set in stone but its nice to know he’s thinking that way.

But, again…I’m still kinda worried. College is a big deal. You find out who you are there.

Like I said, I really love him and it would break my heart to lose him. He’s not just my boyfriend, he’s my best friend for a very long time. He knows things about me no ones else does, and even though I’m not a trusting person, I trust him. A lot is at risk here. I want what’s best for both of us.

So my question is…do you guys think it’s the right thing for us to try staying together through college? Thanks a lot!

PS. Sorry this is so long!

[vashti]

I think it's okay to maintain contact through college, and to date when you see each other, but maybe it would be best to NOT formally tie yourselves down to each other. You will both be (hopefully) growing during this time in your lives, and you may not grow in the same direction, nor should you be limiting yourselves by hanging on to the past.

[alovehangoverr]

We can't really tell you what's right or wrong for your situation.. to be honest, do people stay together after going to college, especially involving a bit of distance? No. Does that mean that'll be you? Not necessarily.

I wouldn't jump the gun & end things just to avoid potential heartbreak, but you should at least be mentally prepared for the worst.

If he's willing to give it a go, & you're interested in the same.. why not give it a go?

You might break up, you might not.. but it's better to try first.