What is this guy's problem?

[Aphik]

I've been seeing a guy for awhile now. I found out about a month ago he had seen another woman. I got mad but got over it since it was in the past. He was upset and promised me it would never happen again, he can't lose me etc. A week later, I find an IM between him and another girl talking dirty and him inviting her to come down that night. I confronted him about it. He had all these excuses and denied it. I didn't talk to him for a week. He showed up a week later with a wedding ring. Of course I did not agree to that, but I trusted him again because I love him and want to make it work. Now I think he is talking to that girl again, all his texts are erased but a few, but I can see he's been calling her. What is he doing? Why does he continue to do this after giving me a ring and saying 'whatever I have to do to do this right with you.' What does he want? I am so confused. I want to confront him about this, but I don't have enough evidence and he will probably conjure up another excuse. This relationship has been hard to end, but my only question is what is going on in his head? Has anyone else dealt with someone like this, who seems to lead a double life? If he wants other women, why doesn't he just leave and have that? I've told him it's cool if he wants to be with other women, but he tries to keep me. If it were me, and he wasn't satisfying me, I would say so and move on and skip the drama. What the hell is he thinking?

[offa]

I've dealt with a similar situation.

Move On, You deserve better.
He will continue to hurt you.

[Jenn]

I have to agree. . . I know it might hurt, but some guys are just like that. He may love you, truly love you, but its clear that to him true love does not require monogamy. I really think that some men (and some women, but fewer I think) think that you can love someone and still cheat on them, and that it doesn't matter as long as their partner is happy - read: doesn't find out. It won't change, you'll always be suspicious, and probably rightfully so. If that's not ok with you, get out now, and explain to him exactly why.

[TheTooya]

Hes keeping you hooked. Why would he want to leave a deal where he gets to **** other girls while keeping you on the side on his off days?

(Assuming he is cheating)

[l337acc]

Good move not accepting the ring. I would never marry anyone like that, its just asking for trouble.

Whats he thinking? He's keeping your ***** in a jar the same way girls keep guys d*cks in a jar <-- i use that term alot but its appropriate

He's just playing you, textbook style

[lahnnabell]

This guy has major self-esteem issues, which is what cheating tends to be centered on in my opinion. He makes his rounds, picking up other chicks and filling his time because he loves being loved. If he were truly satisfied with himself, he'd be able to work toward a fulfilling relationship with another person. That is not the case and so he goes around collecting conquests in order to make up what he feels he's lacking.

Either way, he's being incredibly inappropriate with these other women and will most likely not change until he gets dropped on his ass hardcore. You're in the perfect position to put him in his place, and then leave so that he can think about how much he screwed up.

[Mish]

This relationship has been hard to end, but my only question is what is going on in his head? What the hell is he thinking?

Something along the lines of:

"I can't believe how gullible this girl is. I can pretty much be with any woman I like, all I need to do is just bs a little and she'll buy it. Man, if only all women were like that."

[wolbi74]

My guess would be that he doesnt want to give up the comfort he has with you and thinks that he is able to have the best of two worlds.

I woiuld ditch him, what do u need evidence for? He wont change, trust me, he,s already lying to you now.

[roy_delene]

this guy is a loser and a jerk. leave him before you get hurt even worse than you are now

[xxazurexx]

He likes you there and for the benefits a steady relationship brings, but he likes to also see what's on offer outside of the relationship. He might be thinking something better will come along and you will be ditched on your ass if it does.

In remaining with him and knowing he's cheating, you give your approval that it is ok to cheat on you. When he pays no consequence for his cheating, he will continue to do it.

Some men are just born womanisers.....one woman is never enough.

[alovehangoverr]

What is he thinking? He's thinking "I can get away with doing whatever I want, and still have a warm bed & woman to come home to."

Why would he stop? He messes up, you forgive him, he messed up again, you forgive him, he does it again-- you get the point.

He's what would be called a "cake eater". And you're letting him do it.

End it. This isn't going to change. It's happened numerous times, and will continue to happen. On top of that.. even if he did convince you he's stopped.. you're always going to be insecure about it and have trust issues. Who would want a relationship like that? Where you constantly have to check up on the other person who should love you and be faithful/committed to you.