My gf wanted to drive me back to school for work because we haven't seen each other for a week while I was out for vacation. its a 1hr drive and she would have to come back next morning.
She asks me when I wanted to leave, and I said maybe after dinner because my mom is making fish. She said ok.
then she calls back sometime later and didn't want to drive me anymore because I didn't ask her what she wanted, and that I made a selfish decision without consulting her, and she felt like a cab driver that I'm taking advantage of.
I feel like she could have said "hey instead lets leave earlier and have dinner there". I would have said yes.
This is just an example of a general concern that I have. I'm obviously wrong here and should have first asked her when she wanted to leave. But honestly, it didn't matter either way, my mom happened to tell me we were having fish first. In this situation, I was wrong and she had the right to be upset.
But, there are situations where I feel like when there is ambiguity, there are much less dramatic ways of dealing with a miscommunication or disagreement.
When one partner makes a decision for something the other doesn't agree with or didn't plan on, the other should be able to speak up and say no lets do something else, whether this leads to an argument or discussion is one thing, but not speak up and chalk it up as "he should have asked what I want", just seem to be unnecessary...
and to add, I do love her and shes not nearly as dramatic as a lot of girls, but I don't know if this is something that happens less over time.
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Thread: Is this overdramatic?
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12-07-10, 02:04 AM #1
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Is this overdramatic?
Last edited by vision123; 12-07-10 at 02:12 AM.
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12-07-10, 09:24 AM #2
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Yes, she's being overdramatic. She offered to drive you and then asked you when you wanted to leave. So, you answered her. If she didn't agree, she should have said so instead of waiting until later to pick a fight over it. This kind of behavior makes me hate my gender.
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12-07-10, 09:58 AM #3
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Toooootal overly dramatically on her part. SHE'S being selfish.
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13-07-10, 01:22 AM #4
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I'm totally agreeing with this.. she had a golden opportunity to express what she wanted to do after you answered her question. You shouldn't have had to ask her "what she wanted." It sounds like she's just looking for a fight to make you feel bad, even though you did nothing wrong, to help her justify her inability to communicate properly.
Originally Posted by lahnnabell
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13-07-10, 01:57 AM #5
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You're not wrong SHE ASKED, you answered. If she had some other idea in her mind she should have spoken up.
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13-07-10, 09:33 AM #6
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Don't worry, we know that there are some of you who aren't over-dramatic. Originally Posted by lahnnabell
Just like you know there are some of us who aren't jerks.
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13-07-10, 11:17 AM #7
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I wish I could say that the stereotype that women are overly dramatic is unfair and completely unfounded. But, it's GENERALLY true. The most we women should be doing for you men is control that tendency to lash out emotionally whenever any particular emotion comes over us. In my experience, it usually gets less pronounced with age. But, life isn't always so predictable...
My advice in how you can handle the next outburst is to remain calm (sounds like you're very level-headed as it is) and rational. Explain to her gently that you're not a mind reader and that although you want to respect her and make her happy, she needs to be responsible for her part by being assertive and reasonable with her own requests of you. Being loving, calm, patient, and understanding should, over time, help her to bring this behavior to a minimum.
I'm not trying to excuse her treatment of you. Respect is so crucial in relationships, as you know. I'm just saying that your effort to understand and sympathize with her character flaws will allow you to emerge as an extremely mature boyfriend. And, of course, she should make the effort to understand your own quirks and tendencies, too.
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14-07-10, 07:39 PM #8
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I can totally relate to her and I agree that she was being over-dramatic when I am reading it from your perspective. However, I would have done the same if I was facing the same situation. I guess in a couple of years you will grow and understand better about women. I think women never directly tell you what they want, they sometimes, even say opposite things just to give you a chance to offer things they want. I admire my bf because he knows what I want, or maybe I am getting older and gradually learning to handle rejections better
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15-07-10, 02:26 PM #9
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YOU did nothing wrong in this situation. DO NOT think that you did anything to upset her. She is just being silly. She WANTED to drive you, and then she ASKED when you wanted to leave. She should not be so selfish and change her mind about how she is feeling on a whim. She has only herself to blame.
