My boyfriend no longer orgasms when we have sex.

[flora]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months now. When we first started dating we had a great sex life. Occasionally, if he was really drunk he would take longer than usual to have an orgasm, but it wasn't an issue.

After dating exclusively, we both were tested for stds and then, since I am on the pill, stopped using condoms. As you can imagine, without condoms he never had any difficulty orgasming, even after a few drinks, or if we had already had sex earlier that day.

However, about week and a half ago, we were having sex after going out to a show and having a few drinks and he was unable to orgasm, he was still hard, but even after trying EVERYTHING, was simply unable to finish. I chalked it up to being tipsy and tired and we fell asleep. However, since then, he has had the same problem. We have had sex while completely sober over ten times since then, and he is unable to cum. Even if he stops having sex with me and tries masturbation, he is unable to achieve orgasm, although he says that he is able to so so when masturbating by himself.

He claims that this has never happened to him before, and says he is just really tired because he is going through some stress at his work. However, I can't help but feeling really insecure, especially if he is able to get off by himself but not with me.

When I first started dating him, he had recently broken up with his ex-girlfriend. One of the reasons he said he broke up with her was that the sex was bad. I am now worried that he stops being able to have orgasms after dating a woman for a while? Is this normal? Is there anything I can do to help?

[TheTooya]

I've had that happen to me... it could just be an off day/week. Is he stressed? Has his sleep/diet changed? Etc...

[Gigabitch]

Take a few days off, first of all.

Does he go down on you? He should go down on you first to make sure you get yours and then see if he can get somewhere by just doing whatever he wants after that (that can be fun for you, too). If that doesn't work, you might have to have a long talk about what's bothering him, because this isn't normal.

[vashti]

I think the first time could be attributed to alcohol. The subsequent times were probably anxiety-related. Nothing will prevent an orgasm like worrying about whether or not you are going to have one.

[l337acc]

The only times I find it impossible to orgasm is when I've had too much to drink, or I really didn't like the girl in the first place. You might be thinking "why would you sleep with someone you dont like in the first place" and the answer to that is "it seemed like a good idea at the time"...

Now, when you have too much alcohol AND you don't really like the person -- then that is a wombo combo of flacid wiener.. Also, drugs can play a major role in insensitivity -- particularly cocaine (don't ask me how I know this)

I'm not saying that he is using drugs or doesn't like you, but it sounds like there might be some sexual tension between the both of you. Maybe he wants to do something/has a fetish but feels uncomfortable asking about it? Or maybe he is worried that he isn't pleasing you. I would find out

[flora]

I am fortunate enough to be really easy to please in the sexual department so that is not an issue. Typically by the time he stops I have gotten off at least twice.

I have tried stopping and switching to oral or anal, or just taking a break and giving him a massage and cuddling.

He drinks moderately, and I have never seen any indications that he is using, or has used illegal drugs. The only medication he is taking is propecia for hair loss.

I think I am feeling extra bad because when we first started dating we were not exclusive. He asked if I would like to be, but I told him I wasn't ready because I was still dealing with some ex related stuff. I was casually dating other people, but not sleeping with them. After about a month or so, I realized I was avoiding exclusivity out of fear and when he brought it up again, I told him I would like to become exclusive and monogamous. We have been so ever since. Later, I found out through some gossip, that during the time we had been dating, but not yet committed, he had drunkenly slept with a semi-mutual friend a few times. I know I can't be mad, because I had told him that I didn't want to be exclusive, but now I can't help but think that the sex was way better with her and that's why he isn't getting off with me.

I have asked him if he has a fetish or if there is something I am not doing that could help, but he claims there is not.

[Gigabitch]

I don't think the sex with someone else would stop him from getting off with you unless he was still sleeping with her and just has nothing left for you. Is there any chance he's sleeping with someone else?

[hurt_confuzd]

Take a few days off, first of all.

Does he go down on you? He should go down on you first to make sure you get yours and then see if he can get somewhere by just doing whatever he wants after that (that can be fun for you, too). If that doesn't work, you might have to have a long talk about what's bothering him, because this isn't normal.

This is retarded and completely typical. I don't think anybody else, when asked, "Why isn't my boyfriend orgasming?", would answer, "Tell him to go down on you," or anything else to the tune of, "Sexually enslave him."

You're a fuçking sadist.

[flora]

I don't think the sex with someone else would stop him from getting off with you unless he was still sleeping with her and just has nothing left for you. Is there any chance he's sleeping with someone else?

Hmmm, well I guess it is always possible? The thing is, this has happened even when we have spent the whole weekend together. For example, we will meet up Friday night and one of us will stay at the others house til Sunday. So there is no way that he is unable to orgasm because some other woman is "draining" him, though I would suppose if he were cheating he could simply be exhausted by the weekend or be suffering from guilt?

[Gigabitch]

This is retarded and completely typical. I don't think anybody else, when asked, "Why isn't my boyfriend orgasming?", would answer, "Tell him to go down on you," or anything else to the tune of, "Sexually enslave him."

You are a drooling buffoon. Just because you have no experience making females orgasm doesn't mean you can just jump in here and stop my All Men Must Eat Pussy campaign.

Now shut up and go lick a vagina.

Hmmm, well I guess it is always possible? The thing is, this has happened even when we have spent the whole weekend together. For example, we will meet up Friday night and one of us will stay at the others house til Sunday. So there is no way that he is unable to orgasm because some other woman is "draining" him, though I would suppose if he were cheating he could simply be exhausted by the weekend or be suffering from guilt?

I'd go with suffering from guilt. What about blowjobs? Same problem?

[l337acc]

Hmmm, well I guess it is always possible? The thing is, this has happened even when we have spent the whole weekend together. For example, we will meet up Friday night and one of us will stay at the others house til Sunday. So there is no way that he is unable to orgasm because some other woman is "draining" him, though I would suppose if he were cheating he could simply be exhausted by the weekend or be suffering from guilt?

Consciousness of Guilt would be something I didn't think of, and is definitely something worth investigating as it can throw a wrench in sexual satisfaction.

[vashti]

I am fortunate enough to be really easy to please in the sexual department so that is not an issue. Typically by the time he stops I have gotten off at least twice.

I have tried stopping and switching to oral or anal, or just taking a break and giving him a massage and cuddling.

He drinks moderately, and I have never seen any indications that he is using, or has used illegal drugs. The only medication he is taking is propecia for hair loss.

I think I am feeling extra bad because when we first started dating we were not exclusive. He asked if I would like to be, but I told him I wasn't ready because I was still dealing with some ex related stuff. I was casually dating other people, but not sleeping with them. After about a month or so, I realized I was avoiding exclusivity out of fear and when he brought it up again, I told him I would like to become exclusive and monogamous. We have been so ever since. Later, I found out through some gossip, that during the time we had been dating, but not yet committed, he had drunkenly slept with a semi-mutual friend a few times. I know I can't be mad, because I had told him that I didn't want to be exclusive, but now I can't help but think that the sex was way better with her and that's why he isn't getting off with me.

I have asked him if he has a fetish or if there is something I am not doing that could help, but he claims there is not.

A common side effect of propecia is impotence. Don't go accusing him of cheating. This is a medical issue, for sure.

But for the record, all men should lick vaginas or have their testicles removed.

[the_robot]

But for the record, all men should lick vaginas or have their testicles removed.

*crosses legs* Poor me...

[vashti]

*crosses legs* Poor me...

We won't remove your testicles unless after you have been properly trained, you are non-compliant.

[flora]

A common side effect of propecia is impotence. Don't go accusing him of cheating. This is a medical issue, for sure.

But for the record, all men should lick vaginas or have their testicles removed.

I second the vagina licking sentiment.

He doesn't have a problem getting or staying erect at all, just having an orgasm. Could that be a form or impotence, or caused by the propecia? He is also a smoker...I have heard that can cause sexual issues as well?