you think my boyfriend is controlling?

[RdHrshyKss]

communication really is important, he needs to feel comfortable opening up to you and being honest about his feelings in order for either of you to have any kind of chance. how are you supposed to know what it is that he wants and doesn't want if he doesn't talk to you about it? i'd say start there first because that's pretty much the root of all the crap in your relationship.

when he gets in the kind of mindset that it's "his way or the highway" you have to tell him that he's being inconsiderate and that it would be better for both of you to come to some kind of agreement. if after you try compromising, he still wants to act spiteful and stupid because he had to cave a little, i'd say move on, he's selfish, he's stubborn and he's not worth your time. he still has a lot to learn but you sure as hell don't have to be the one to take all the abuse to teach him.

[lilxcutie53]

communication really is important, he needs to feel comfortable opening up to you and being honest about his feelings in order for either of you to have any kind of chance. how are you supposed to know what it is that he wants and doesn't want if he doesn't talk to you about it? i'd say start there first because that's pretty much the root of all the crap in your relationship.

when he gets in the kind of mindset that it's "his way or the highway" you have to tell him that he's being inconsiderate and that it would be better for both of you to come to some kind of agreement. if after you try compromising, he still wants to act spiteful and stupid because he had to cave a little, i'd say move on, he's selfish, he's stubborn and he's not worth your time. he still has a lot to learn but you sure as hell don't have to be the one to take all the abuse to teach him.

Thats kinda how I feel...Hes very passive aggressive...he likes his way and only his way..I like him a lot, and normally I do watch the re-runs of that show, but yet I think that it was ok for me to choose to watch the special event that started at 8 considering it was the series finale. I just had no idea that it was going to run until 12. and I actually called him at 1130 to let him the know the show wasnt over yet, but I think at that point he was already angry.
he has a very hard time expressing how he feels towards me so therefore he is passive aggressive & at first I was passive aggressive just because I didnt want to start fights with him, but that was at the point in my life when I wanted a boyfriend so I didnt care, but now im starting to try and open up a little bit. Its hard and sometimes I catch myself afterwards when ive been passive. Like today he texted me in the morning and we were talkig about men and their emotions ( know idea why) and he asked if he was emotional and i said "yes" and then he said "we only get emotional after sex" and i was like "do you cry and say thank you or something?" and then he got kinda offensive and stopped texting. Were kinda mean to eachother and I dont know why...and then later on...he called me after he got out of work and said that he was having a few people over...and wanted to know if i wanted to come, but at the time I had just been in a fight with my mom so I sounded really upset on the phone and told him i just wanted to stay home...so he asked what happened and I went all into it and everything, then eventually we got off the phone because he needed to go pick up his friend and said that he was going to call me back...so once he did he said that he was just gonna have a bunch of dudes over and I had said.."yah im not gonna come, i think i need to stay home" and then he said "yah, its probably for the best" nooo idea what that means..its funny cuz most of the time we do hang out with his friends I am the only girl. so whether or not he just wanted to have the guys over, I dont know..but if that was the case, he didnt come across that way...and now i sorta feel offended...

[lilxcutie53]

communication really is important, he needs to feel comfortable opening up to you and being honest about his feelings in order for either of you to have any kind of chance. how are you supposed to know what it is that he wants and doesn't want if he doesn't talk to you about it? i'd say start there first because that's pretty much the root of all the crap in your relationship.

when he gets in the kind of mindset that it's "his way or the highway" you have to tell him that he's being inconsiderate and that it would be better for both of you to come to some kind of agreement. if after you try compromising, he still wants to act spiteful and stupid because he had to cave a little, i'd say move on, he's selfish, he's stubborn and he's not worth your time. he still has a lot to learn but you sure as hell don't have to be the one to take all the abuse to teach him.

Thats kinda how I feel...Hes very passive aggressive...he likes his way and only his way..I like him a lot, and normally I do watch the re-runs of that show, but yet I think that it was ok for me to choose to watch the special event that started at 8 considering it was the series finale. I just had no idea that it was going to run until 12. and I actually called him at 1130 to let him the know the show wasnt over yet, but I think at that point he was already angry.
he has a very hard time expressing how he feels towards me so therefore he is passive aggressive & at first I was passive aggressive just because I didnt want to start fights with him, but that was at the point in my life when I wanted a boyfriend so I didnt care, but now im starting to try and open up a little bit. Its hard and sometimes I catch myself afterwards when ive been passive. Like today he texted me in the morning and we were talkig about men and their emotions ( know idea why) and he asked if he was emotional and i said "yes" and then he said "we only get emotional after sex" and i was like "do you cry and say thank you or something?" and then he got kinda offensive and stopped texting. Were kinda mean to eachother and I dont know why...and then later on...he called me after he got out of work and said that he was having a few people over...and wanted to know if i wanted to come, but at the time I had just been in a fight with my mom so I sounded really upset on the phone and told him i just wanted to stay home...so he asked what happened and I went all into it and everything, then eventually we got off the phone because he needed to go pick up his friend and said that he was going to call me back...so once he did he said that he was just gonna have a bunch of dudes over and I had said.."yah im not gonna come, i think i need to stay home" and then he said "yah, its probably for the best" nooo idea what that means..its funny cuz most of the time we do hang out with his friends I am the only girl. so whether or not he just wanted to have the guys over, I dont know..but if that was the case, he didnt come across that way...and now i sorta feel offended...

I just feel like im always the one bending and things like that..its very hard because I feel like he has these pre-assumption that all girls are princesses and gold diggers and take advantage of guys and stuff lieke that. but thats not me at all....at the beginning of our relationship we had issues of who paid for dinner, and i kinda expected him to, well just cuz isnt that what a guy is supposed to do? he always seemed like he wanted to split the bill..now he pays for me, but then gets pissed off at the same time and make jokes about how he has to stop being the sugar daddy and that I need to take him out to dinner and stuff like that. are girls supposed to pay for guys? I thought it was the guys job as the boyfriend to want to pay all the time. so now it sometimes can be an issue.

and his friends at home are losers, hes got great things going for him, but his friends..half of them arent in school..ones going to jail for a DUI, another just started school...and more...and they all hang out with eachother EVERYDAY..theres hardly not a minute when chris isnt with a friend. and its hard cuz it feels like I come 2nd to his friends and at school..his friends there have more going for them are more independent .so I was more of a priority to him at school because his friends werent ringing his doorbell all the time.

[Riyko]

I just feel like im always the one bending and things like that..its very hard because I feel like he has these pre-assumption that all girls are princesses and gold diggers and take advantage of guys and stuff lieke that. but thats not me at all....at the beginning of our relationship we had issues of who paid for dinner, and i kinda expected him to, well just cuz isnt that what a guy is supposed to do? he always seemed like he wanted to split the bill..now he pays for me, but then gets pissed off at the same time and make jokes about how he has to stop being the sugar daddy and that I need to take him out to dinner and stuff like that. are girls supposed to pay for guys? I thought it was the guys job as the boyfriend to want to pay all the time. so now it sometimes can be an issue.

I've read the whole topic and I won't even comment on watching a tv show over hanging out with your boyfriend as everyone else has already talked about it. This part of what you just said bothers me a lot, it's not the guys job or responsibility to pay for the girl all the time. It should be the person who invites the other one out pays for what they do that day. My boyfriend and I switch up all the time, if he invites me out he will pay for everything, but if I invite him out I will pay for everything unless we decide to do something together and then everything is split 50/50. I think you need to start inviting him out and paying for him from time to time because to me it seems like you are kind of being a bit of a gold digger by having him pay for everything.

[vashti]

lilxcutie - you make females look bad.

[lilxcutie53]

i'm not trying to make us look bad...and i dont think its fair that im being attacked for a show that I like even if everyone on doesnt like it. that wasnt the point. Would he ever DVR a Redskins football game for me? hell no. and the redskins suck. What show I was watching doesnt even matter, because its a Show that I like, that he knows I like despite what you people think. And ive only had 2 boyfriends. im 22, just graduated college, in HS when I had my first boyfriend...he always paid for everything and even if I offered he wouldnt want me to pay. and its not like I havent ever paid for my boyfriend. We even split the bill most of the time we go out for dinner unless its a date and I dont have a problem doing that. and even when I do pay for him sometimes he doesnt he say thank you...every time he has paid for me i've always said that ive appreciated it. never once have I not thanked him. So i'm pretty sure i'm not a gold digger....

Look at how he's treated me explained in the posts above and then compare and see you is better? me or him

[VincenzoG91]

Look at how he's treated me explained in the posts above and then compare and see you is better? me or him

You should tell your boyfriend that you think you're better than him. I think that the resulting discussion will be quite revealing and move this relationship to a new level.

[girl68]

I just feel like im always the one bending and things like that..its very hard because I feel like he has these pre-assumption that all girls are princesses and gold diggers and take advantage of guys and stuff lieke that. but thats not me at all....at the beginning of our relationship we had issues of who paid for dinner, and i kinda expected him to, well just cuz isnt that what a guy is supposed to do? he always seemed like he wanted to split the bill..now he pays for me, but then gets pissed off at the same time and make jokes about how he has to stop being the sugar daddy and that I need to take him out to dinner and stuff like that. are girls supposed to pay for guys? I thought it was the guys job as the boyfriend to want to pay all the time. so now it sometimes can be an issue.

You JUST said he thinks girls are golddiggers and princess and then you write an entire paragraph about how "it's his job to pay". Bullshit. NO WONDER he thinks that- you just proved him right. Hell yes, girls are supposed to pay- princess. No, it's not his JOB.

You *do* make females look bad wheather you meant to or not.

[lilxcutie53]

[/I]

You JUST said he thinks girls are golddiggers and princess and then you write an entire paragraph about how "it's his job to pay". Bullshit. NO WONDER he thinks that- you just proved him right. Hell yes, girls are supposed to pay- princess. No, it's not his JOB.

You *do* make females look bad wheather you meant to or not.

thats like when we go on dates and stuff numnut...He should pay for DATES...going to dinner bc there is no food is different and i pay for my meals like that, but I mean he should pay for DATES..

when we go to a bar i pay for myself unless he offers and sometimes he does...
He asked me the other night if I would pay for his 24 pack of beer that I wasnt drinking..and even tho he said it semi-jokingly I knew he half way meant it. and i said "no" im not paying for beer that im not drinking..I dont care what people say..
and one time we were at the beach and he needed some new pants and wanted me to buy them for him..are you serious? he just wants his tic for tac. If I was out by myself and I saw a pair of pants that i thought hed like I would buy them for him and excpet nothing in return. thats normal, but u dont ask for people to buy you stuff...

I never ask him to pay for my dinner, and even when he does pay for my stuff and I buy an expensive drink ill pay for that. But I will say this...I was a bit offended one time when him and I were at a bar for our friends birthday and by accident the bartender put my drink on his tab, and he told me that I had to pay for one of his drinks to reimburse him...if that were me in the situation I would of just said "hey dont worry about it..its not a big deal"

[Kagerou]

I feel bad for your partner/future partners. Sorry.

[VincenzoG91]

Traditional guys have a choice: pay for dates or pay for prostitutes. A high-maintenance girlfriend can be more expensive than even a fancy call girl.

[girl68]

thats like when we go on dates and stuff numnut...He should pay for DATES...going to dinner bc there is no food is different and i pay for my meals like that, but I mean he should pay for DATES..

He asked me the other night if I would pay for his 24 pack of beer that I wasnt drinking..and even tho he said it semi-jokingly I knew he half way meant it. and i said "no" im not paying for beer that im not drinking..I dont care what people say..

I never ask him to pay for my dinner"

What makes you think you're so wonderful that he HAS to pay for dates? You ARE a princess. You know what I treat my man like a KING. I don't pay often because of my money situation but I take him out on dates, I have planned and paid for and he adores me for it. I'll buy him beer that "I'M not drinking" if he says he needs new pants I would love to buy them for him if I can afford it.

You're right you don't care what people say- but one day when your spoiled princess world falls around you- you might.

You never ASK for dinner- but unless he's an alien he knows your little princess attitude expects him to.

[lilxcutie53]

What makes you think you're so wonderful that he HAS to pay for dates? You ARE a princess. You know what I treat my man like a KING. I don't pay often because of my money situation but I take him out on dates, I have planned and paid for and he adores me for it. I'll buy him beer that "I'M not drinking" if he says he needs new pants I would love to buy them for him if I can afford it.

You're right you don't care what people say- but one day when your spoiled princess world falls around you- you might.

You never ASK for dinner- but unless he's an alien he knows your little princess attitude expects him to.

Yah i get what your saying about the whole pants situation..the situation was at the time was that him and I were at the beach with some friends and one night we made plans to go out to a club, well 2 girls in our group wanted to go to this one store to get an outfit..so we all followed them. He had mentioned to me that he needed new shorts the day before, because he didnt bring enough for the trip. So when he went to the store he was thinking about buying a pair and then saw the price and jerkingly asked if id pay for them...thats completely different then him mentioning to you that he needs pants..and then going to the store one day urself seeing a pair that hed like and graciously buy a pair because you want to and not because he was asking you to.

good luck with treating ur man like a king..let me know when he starts walking all over you!

[VincenzoG91]

You shouldn't worry about your boyfriend trying to control you. He's just your personal ATM machine: push his buttons until money pops out.

[girl68]

Oh sweet one, I am his queen we treat eachother with utmost RESPECT we are equals- we are partners. I am not a spoiled little princess. I would NEVER choose TV over my guy, in fact if I MUST watch the show guess what I do? Go to chapters buy him his car magazine he loves so much, turn on a lamp, grab him a snack and we sit there together. I get to watch my show, he gets to be equally entertained and we're both together. Let me know when you figure out how to treat a guy better.