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Thread: How to get over your ex fast!

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Location
    Bristol, UK
    Posts
    9

    How to get over your ex fast!

    After a LTR (long term relationship) many guys find themselves struggling to feel attracted to anyone other than their previous partner.

    I’ve had different experiences of coming out of LTR’s; one way is to come out and go straight out on the rebound and at first, shoot a few figures below your 1-10 value (no lower than 7!) and then work your way up. Sometimes it’s hard to bite the bullet and lower your standards until your game catches up, also it will initially help you realise that there are other types of girls other than your ex, who each can be found to be attractive in their own unique way.

    In addition to the previous suggestion, I recommend trying various Neuro-Linguistic Programming therapeutic techniques to build your interest other types of girls other than those ‘like’ your ex.

    It’s easy not to admit it to yourself, because you may dislike your previous partner, but can’t help finding even the most attractive girls/guys to be not of your taste.

    You need to understand that your brain has developed a conditioned response to associate feelings of attraction towards the opposite sex, who only gives off the exact same responses as your ex. Finding this exact person is extremely unlikely.

    In the NLP model, conditioning is broken down in to different aspects of visual, acoustic and kinaesthetic; one of my suggestions would be to focus on finding the attractive qualities in girls that you notice in your everyday life; or when you fantasize, to break up the fantasy and to focus on attractive scenarios with a style of girl you previously wouldn’t have gone for.

    Doing this is good practice to break down your conditioning and to get you to see things in a new way. Another method may mean imagining your ideal type of partner (probably similar to your previous) and then to change one or two features, then change another two, and so on. First you could start off with changing the hair colour, or changing their height, changing their name; keep practicing doing this, after doing this several times you will feel attraction towards a greater variety of guys/girls and your life will be more full and enjoyable for the process.

    In the field, its good practice to talk to all types of people that are attractive even if they aren’t your type; often I find myself speaking with the girls who I don’t find my type but within half an hour of speaking with them and me feeling warmed by them it builds attraction from me.

    Attraction is a game of push and pull, playing hard to get and making people put time and effort into the things they want in life.

    One way I build attraction in people is having them work to speak to me, leaving them mid conversation and speaking to another group and having that person feel the intensity of wanting to speak to me, perhaps through a jealously plot line. Its not only this way round it works, you may find that you become attracted to people who put their time and effort into you, so give them a chance to do that; you might not like her initially but once she’s displaying interest and investing in you, you just might find yourself developing a new type. When you realise how much you can be played and play a different style of guy/girl you will get a taste for it.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    Male
    Posts
    4,622
    It depends on why the relationship ended and who did the dumping. After 8 years with my ex I dumped her. I immediately began dating. I hardly ever think about her. After 3 months I met my GF. We're going to get engaged in Paris this weekend.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    7
    interesting NLP model

    if you act like a catch and speak the way catches do actually other types of girls/guys would be attracted to you

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