Ending Long Relationship For Another Girl (HELP!)

[gbman]

I'll try to be as concise as possible ...

I've been in a 4 year relationship with my high school sweetheart. We are in college now and we live together. For me over the past few months things have become very stail.We don't have sex, barely kiss, or have any physical contact at all. She makes the effort to tell me that she loves me all the time, and I reciprocate ... I do love her still our relationship just doesn't have any passion, excitement, or gives me that unexplainable feeling anymore. I don't want to break up with her because I don't want to hurt her obviously but I don't know what else to do ...

For the past few months I've grown very close with a girl at work. Recently she made it very clear that she feels as strongly about me as I do her. There is lots of passion and excitement between the two of us and both of us can't help but smile when we see each other. Last night (since my girlfriend has been gone for a week) The girl from work came over, we talked for a couple hours and then kissed for the first time. After that we held each other and kissed each other for literally the entire night. We also had sex. I feel absolutely no guilt which is VERY out of the norm for myself. The girl I was with also is in a relationship and said she would be more than willing to end it for me.

The girl from work is moving in the 3 weeks, 2.5 hours away for school and I wont be able to see her for a long time since both of us will be in school. I'm ok with that but it does make the decision to break up with my current girlfriend more difficult because then I will have no one.

I guess I have two questions ... Should I break up with my current girlfriend? and if so, how should I do it? any comments or advice is appreciated.

I'm 19 by the way, encase that has any effect on the advice

[hello1]

Cheater already at 19. You better start working out what sort of man you want to be. If you want to be decent then dump your current g/f as there seems to be nothing there any more. If you can have sex, be in a relationship and cheat then you should know how to break up with someone. It is not rocket science.

[Gigabitch]

Yes, you should break up with your girlfriend. You cheated on her and you don't even feel bad about it. I don't care about your sorry excuses. You should nail yourself to the wall about this and you're just worrying about having no one. Shame on you.

[xxazurexx]

If things were as bad with your gf as you say, you'd dump her and you'd rather be alone.

But I guess in reality things were not that bad with your gf, were they? You just make out it was 'that' bad and in order to justify your cheating and try to get sympathy.

No one has to remain in a relationship they were/or are not happy in. You don't 'use' people and until something better comes along - not if you are a 'decent' person anyway.

Let your gf go and to find someone 'decent'.

[Kagerou]

People like this make me ashamed to be male. Women become insecure because of things like this. You say you love her but not enough to sit and talk out the things bothering you? You'd rather cheat and then worry about being alone.

Like the others said, let her go and find a decent guy.

[hurt_confuzd]

You Canadians make me proud.

[bluesummer]

First of all, the excitement and passion you feel for this new girl is probably not because she's any more amazing than your gf. It's just new. New relationships are always exciting and romantic and passionate. You stay with this girl and you'll probably be feeling the same lack of 'excitement' in four years as you are with your current gf.

Secondly, you cheated, and therefore you need to break up with her asap. If you really cared about her at all you would've broken up with her before you stuck your dick in another girl. That's heartless, buddy. Not to mention you didn't even feel guilty. Anyone deserves better than that.

[IncognitoSir]

WOW, and only 19. Why the hell do you live with your gf in college anyways, first mistake. Funny how you mention 'we also had sex' like its no big deal. Like its the least of your worries. You deserve to be alone. Sorry to tell ya, but this new chick......who ALSO cheated, she's a cheater just like you. Which means, she'll be more than willing to cheat on you someday if you 2 ever get together.

[Endlessagony]

You should have ended things with her first if you weren't happy, there absolutely no excuse for cheating like that. The very least you can do is to be brutally honest with your girlfriend, tell her what you did and accept full responsibility. You've already caused a great deal of harm, don't cause any more.

Remember that things will cool down with this girl and then you'll be in the same situation again, try to think rationally about what you do.

[carl1222]

I agree with all the previous comments that there is absolutely no justification for your cheating on your current girlfriend. Taking your description of your current relationship at face value, it appears to me that it has run its course as high school romances often do. What you need to decide, for future use, is the kind of person you want to be.

A decent and courageous person would end a relationship that is no longer working before starting a new one.

By the way, the new girl is no prize either. Having sex with someone she knows is in a committed relationship makes her every bit as much a "cheater" as you are. If she has no repect for your current relationship, she will have no respect for any relationship you two might get into.

Carl.