broken trust

[bmrkmd]

my boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me 2 weeks ago after some family drama. In the last 2 weeks we've been talking about maybe rekindling things but there have been times I thought for sure he was going to kick me to the curb for good. To help me feel like life wouldn't end without him, I looked on craigslist in the singles section. I thought that if I saw that there were other guys out there that I wouldn't feel like my world was crashing down on me. It didn't work. I didn't write anybody, I just looked at peoples posts. He found out yesterday and is very hurt and angry and feels that I've broken his trust. Is there any way I can regain that trust? Do you think he should give me a chance to try to regain it? I have never cheated on anyone ever in my life and I've always been open and honest with Kevin throughout our relationship. Help me

[Corp900]

OK how did u cheat how ? sex, kissing, full blown? what?

[bmrkmd]

I didn't technically cheat. All I did was look at the singles section on craigslist. I didn't do anything else

[Corp900]

Hmmm how like credible is this guy whats he like his occupation?

[bmrkmd]

I didn't actually cheat. I looked on craigslist in the singles section. I didn't do anything else. I didn't e-mail or call or meet anyone. I just looked but I think he things that the intent was there, therefore he thinks I would do it again. like I said in my post. I looked on there to make myself feel better. I thought if I saw that there are other people out there, that it would be easier to cope with him ending our relationship. but it didn't work. It didn't help

[Corp900]

you didnt answer my question im trying 2 figure out if hes worth it he broke it off with u rmemeber??

[bmrkmd]

he has a full time job, owns a home, he's a great guy

[Corp900]

Hmmm ddoes seem like a great guy ummm i really dont know he has options

[Corp900]

answer on my post so i can help u more help me a litle

[vashti]

Umm... he broke up with you. You are allowed to do whatever you please when someone becomes your ex.

He sounds like he likes to keep you jumping through hoops. Don't be such a doormat - stick up for yourself.

[bmrkmd]

answer what?

[bmrkmd]

I should clarify that 2 days after our breakup, we started talking about getting back together. We've been trying to work out our issues if we're going to get back together and it's been rough at times. I've though a couple times that for sure we're splitting for good. The day before he found out I had looked at craigslist, we finally clicked. So I think he felt like he had let himself open up to the thought of us being together and then the rug was ripped out from under him

[IncognitoSir]

I should clarify that 2 days after our breakup, we started talking about getting back together. We've been trying to work out our issues if we're going to get back together and it's been rough at times. I've though a couple times that for sure we're splitting for good. The day before he found out I had looked at craigslist, we finally clicked. So I think he felt like he had let himself open up to the thought of us being together and then the rug was ripped out from under him

I knew there was more to the story. All you can do is try to convince him now, but honestly, put yourself in his shoes. He's trying to work things out with you only to find out that you've been searching through cl singles postings. Even though you had other intentions you have to see it from his point of view. You shouldnt of been on cl singles anyways if you were trying to get back with this guy. You're gonna have to prove to him you're trustworthy now and it will be no easy task. You know him better than we do, how hard will it be to gain his trust after he's felt betrayed by you? Thats a question only you can answer I'm afraid.

[MonLob]

I don't think you did anything wrong by looking at craigslist. First off, you two had already broken up. Plus, you say you were only looking to feel less lonely, or for hope in the future. You know the line, "...plenty of fish in the sea...", you were just telling yourself that same thing through craigslist.

I am curious as to how he found out...? Maybe he already didn't trust you and now he just has "proof". Who knows... It sounds like you are pretty committed to him, and you say the break-up came from him. So, if he cares about you, he should have some compassion for what you were going through, you were sad -> you looked at craigslist to feel better -> it didn't help.

It sounds like he is just trying to take his (family?) frustration out on you, that's not cool. Like Vashti said, look out for the hoops.

[NewStart]

I can see how he'd be upset, but only since you were talking about reconnecting. If you have a real heart-to-heat talk about exactly what you were doing on craigslist he should believe you. In my opinion, if there's no trust, you're doomed.