Ultimatum

[4seasons]

I was given an ultimatum after dating my girlfriend after 5 months. I have been married once before and she has never been married. We are both 50 years old. I feel that she is more interested in just being married than growing and loving me. I love her very much but I just don't want another failed marriage. At the five month mark, she went to the local jeweler by herself and priced a ring and told me I had two weeks to make up my mind. She did back off, however, every few weeks thereafter she would show resentment that I have not proposed. Even her mother jumped on the bandwagon and chewed me out for holding out. I figured every time she gave me the ultimatum, I considered it a setback and red flag especially when she showed resentment and anger. Now it has been a year and she became tired of waiting and just broke up with me. In he reyes, a year is too long, however, the last five months were filled with resentment and anger. My timetable is just different than hers. I am heartbroken. I almost broke and bought the ring last week but something tells me that she will only get more demanding after marriage. I am hurting. Please help.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You made the right choice, and you are also right that she will only become more demanding. She sounds very selfish, and a little crazy. You are right that she just wants to be married, and I've been in a similar situation, where I felt the person just wanted someone to fill that role in her life and I wasn't with that. It hurts now, but you'll get over it, and you'll be much better off without someone like this bearing down on you all the time.

Have you been in contact with her, since the breakup?

[Gigabitch]

Lucky you. You're free of a rotten, unreasonable, nutcase (and her mother as well).

Throw a party and be happy this is all over. She sounds like a total drag. You know, my husband's least favorite ex girlfriend did the same thing to him. She demanded that he decide whether or not he was going to marry her at the five-month mark so she wouldn't "waste any more time". When he wouldn't, she broke up with him and now she's just some blip in the past and he's MINE. Ha ha!

You shouldn't have to spend the next half of your life with someone like this. You can do better, really. Let her just fade into the distance and keep a lookout for a wonderful, sweet woman who will cherish you.

[IncognitoSir]

Agreeing with everyone else, even though you may be heartbroken you're saving yourself from another failed marriage. She was trying to FORCE you to marry her. She's just upset to be 50 and unmarried and is trying to rush things now. Count this a blessing man.

[xxazurexx]

Sounds like she is just desperate to be married...how sad

[4seasons]

You made the right choice, and you are also right that she will only become more demanding. She sounds very selfish, and a little crazy. You are right that she just wants to be married, and I've been in a similar situation, where I felt the person just wanted someone to fill that role in her life and I wasn't with that. It hurts now, but you'll get over it, and you'll be much better off without someone like this bearing down on you all the time.

Have you been in contact with her, since the breakup?

No. She just broke up last night. After every fight thou, she has come back eventually. I appreciate your encouragement. I have to have the strength to not give in if she comes back again. This emotional roller coaster is hazardous to my health. Her 14 year old daughter is the one who told her to give me up and that I would never commit. Her daughter also told her that she would have to decide between her or me. I always treated her daughter with the utmost respect.

[4seasons]

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Her 14 year old daughter told her last night that I would never get her a ring and that she needs to break it off with me. Her daughter went so far as to tell her it is her or me. She picked her.

[4seasons]

Lucky you. You're free of a rotten, unreasonable, nutcase (and her mother as well).

Throw a party and be happy this is all over. She sounds like a total drag. You know, my husband's least favorite ex girlfriend did the same thing to him. She demanded that he decide whether or not he was going to marry her at the five-month mark so she wouldn't "waste any more time". When he wouldn't, she broke up with him and now she's just some blip in the past and he's MINE. Ha ha!

You shouldn't have to spend the next half of your life with someone like this. You can do better, really. Let her just fade into the distance and keep a lookout for a wonderful, sweet woman who will cherish you.

Could she be the same woman?

[Gigabitch]

Could she be the same woman?

No, there was no daughter. Same steaming pile of crap, though.

Change your phone number and your locks. Don't let her come back this time.

[Mish]

Never feel bad for dodging a bullet

[vashti]

Thanks for the words of encouragement. Her 14 year old daughter told her last night that I would never get her a ring and that she needs to break it off with me. Her daughter went so far as to tell her it is her or me. She picked her.

Don't blame the daughter. She's a child. Your GIRLFRIEND is the crazy one. Who the heck would even THINK about getting married after 5 months at the age of 50? I am guessing there are many other oddities about this woman. Be glad you are free.

[nerdy_guy]

Maybe she's some sort of a psycho. Only idiots use threats for marriage. She should have shown you she's worth marrying instead of showing you what kind of an idiot psycho she is.

[4seasons]

Don't blame the daughter. She's a child. Your GIRLFRIEND is the crazy one. Who the heck would even THINK about getting married after 5 months at the age of 50? I am guessing there are many other oddities about this woman. Be glad you are free.

I don't blame the daughter. I appreciate your comments. Her mother had her out of wedlock and the father wanted no part of them. She has never had a father and she sees that her mother has given me attention that threatens her. Her mother folded under the pressure of the daughter and left me out to dry. The mother has been the one pushing marriage all along saying how much she loves me and then she bolts under pressure from daughter. I just want the pain I am feeling to go away. All I wanted to do is take things slow even thou I love her. It is not like she is still in her childbearing years anymoe and needs to hurry.

[4seasons]

Maybe she's some sort of a psycho. Only idiots use threats for marriage. She should have shown you she's worth marrying instead of showing you what kind of an idiot psycho she is.

Thanks for your enccouragement. I need to know that I am better off. Right now I feel rejected. I believed her that she truly loved me. I just wanted her to be patient because I think we needed to go through the trial period of courting and dating. She is too old to have any more kids so what else could be the rush. If she has the man of her dreams which is what she told me over and over, why not accept going slow at my recommendation. Her daughter became impatient wanting to see her mother walk down the isle in a white dress. So much fanatasy and impatience. Now they have had enough of me because my timeline did not match their timeline. I hope some day I look back to this as a blessing in disquise.

[Gigabitch]

She's a "package deal" because she has a child. If nothing else, you should be glad to be rid of the daughter. She sounds like a real pain in the ass. I have a twelve year old, and she is not the boss of me. It was important that she get along well with my second husband, but the timeline of our relationship was not her business because she is the kid and I am the grownup. Your girlfriend wasn't very clear about this. She sounds weak and squirrely. I concur with the theory that you dodged a bullet.