relationship opinions asked

[mitsuki]

Hey there

About a year ago I was "just friends" with this guy, I had a boyfriend, he had a girlfriend.
When my boyfriend broke up, the "just friendly" relationship with this "just friend" changed to a more "loving" one, but he still had a girlfriend.
Although i sensed his interest, I tried not to have physical contact and tried to not show any affection other then friendship (even though I did have stronger feelings for him, I had fallen in love with him after a while).
After a while, he started to aproach me by asking me to go out more often, poking, ... stuff like that. In the end we ended up walking hand in hand one night, we didn't kiss.
The day after he broke up with his girlfriend, and then went on a holiday with her (because it was already booked). I found out about this 2 months later (he didn't seem to feel the need to tell me).
14 days after he broke up with his girlfriend he kissed me, and i kissed him back. So we had a relation thingy.
I told him i wanted him to tell me when he went out with his ex girlfriend (because he said he wished to stay friends with her, since they had a 5 years+ during relationship). A few days later I asked him if there was something he should have told me, but he said no. I asked again but he still said no. So I got mad and said that if he couldn't be honest with me I didn't wanted a relationship with him. Then he confessed he had seen his ex girlfriend the day after I asked him to tell me if he did. Obviously I already knew he did, I wanted to give him a chance to be honest with me. I broke up.
A month after that breakup we restarted a relationship, but 2 weeks after that he almost kissed with his ex girlfriend. I broke up, again.
But being a fool for love, I ended up having a relationship with him, again. It's been three weeks now, but his ex girlfriend still doesn't knows we got back together. He says he has no intention to tell her anytime soon. He is afraid it will hurt her.

So opinions? I prefer opinions on the fact that he doesn't feels ready to tell her about our relationship yet, even though he does has a relationship with me.

[xxazurexx]

He still very much cares about her, which is why he doesn't want to hurt her. Or he could have other reasons for not wanting to tell her.

Perhaps he is unsure of his feelings for you, which is why he is in no big hurry to tell her about you. If he ever wants to get back with her, then he may think he will ruin his chances of going back and if she knows about you...

He was with her FIVE years and they recently split. If you didn't want a guy with baggage/or complications, then you shouldn't have gone for a man in a relationship.

[Gigabitch]

I agree with azure. You're the Rebound Girl. I hope you're not too emotionally invested in this guy, because he's still hung up on his ex.

[mitsuki]

Thanks for the responses, so you both think it is better to break up?
Some people tell me I should just "enjoy the moments" but I can't if i don't feel loved by the one i love, that just makes everything awkward. He says he does really loves me and he is serious about us, but I feel like it'd be naïeve to believe such things if he can't put an end to what he had relationally with his ex. I don't mind them going out together, but I don't like the idea of being a rebound or just someone to have some temporarily fun with. Even though he says I'm not. Do I have trust issues?

[Gigabitch]

Actions speak louder than words and his actions show that he's still thinking more about her than about you.

[xxazurexx]

I couldn't be with a guy who still hung out with his ex and who had trouble telling his ex about me.

[jlangston]

He still has feelings for her or he'd have no problem telling her he's seeing someone...trust me. It doesn't matter why they broke up, I understand if it was only a week or 2, but it's been longer than that ... and the fact that he almost kissed and he's not wanting to tell her that he's with you...only gives that possibility a greater chance.

It is better to end it now before your feelings grow stronger and you hurt yourself in the long run because you let him hurt you. If he cared, he'd understand and try to keep you by telling her...and if he says he will, you need to tell him you want some sort of proof, because anyone can say "I told her" and not mean it. Keep that in mind.

And you're right..you can't "enjoy the moments" if he isn't acting like he's 100% with you ..... that's just insane that your friends would say that to you .... this is not something that any one with a heart could get over and just deal with ... not if they really care about them.....so do what's best for you, even if it's not what your heart agrees with .... this time make it permanent and find some guy that will treat you the right way.

Good luck!