am i over reacting?

**kimbereyb** · 21-07-10, 12:14 PM

okay. so my boyfriend of a year introduces me to his friends, ive grown quite close to the other girlfriends. This weekend, me and my boyfriend had plans with 2 of our friends on the sunday. he had arranged to go out on the saturday night and i was fine with it. He then came home friday and told me he is going fishing until sunday evening, i was quite annoyed because he hadnt taken into consideration our plans and just assumed it was okay to drop them. I didnt say anything as he doesnt do it all the time and i thought he deserved abit of time with the lads. Then i find out all the other girlfriends have been invited - except me. i was hurt. I asked why and he shouted at me saying im acting like this because hes seeing his friends. When actually i was annoyed id been ditched and then not invited to what seemed like a group event. That evening we argued and i told him i didnt know if it was working, because we're really different people and i feel like he makes no effort with me. He doesnt ever seem interested in doing anything with me. We sorted it out and i thought things would change abit. This weeks he is on nights and arrives home at half 4 in the morning, we arranged to spend the day together, he'd get up at 11 and then go bck to work the following night, i thought this was really nice until he texts me at 5 am telling me he'll be a couple of hours late because hes going out with the lads after work. Who really goes out at half 4 in the morning? I told him i was annoyed and he yet again assumed it was because he was spending time with his friends, but it's because he didnt wake up in time to spend the day together due to stayin out late after work. Im annoyed again as he rarely does this and it just so happens its on the day we arrange to spend together.

ive tried to explain i have no problem with him seeing his friends, but his timing is terrible.
am i being t hard on him?

**vashti** · 21-07-10, 12:25 PM

no, i don't think you are being too hard on him. He acts like a child whose priorities are elsewhere. Are you sure you want that kind of boyfriend?

**kimbereyb** · 21-07-10, 12:31 PM

im not sure.
his friends are quite immature, hes coming up 21 and instead of just coming home after work, hes sat in a carpark with his friends. Things you see 17 year olds doing. The friends hes hanging about with dont have girlfriends, but my boyfriends got to realise he does.

**vashti** · 21-07-10, 12:44 PM

He's still pretty young, and his behavior reflects it. You may be expecting too much, given his developmental level.

**siobhan123** · 21-07-10, 01:04 PM

i dont feel i expect too much, i just feel like his priorities are wrong. i cant talk to him because he shouts at me for "havin a problem with him goin out"

**nerdy_guy** · 21-07-10, 01:19 PM

I never approve of shouting. Doesn't solve anything and is very disrespectful. I think he's trying to intimidate to into giving in by using this tactic. Just hope he doesn't get physical sooner or later. Things sometimes do escalate so please be careful.

**Incognito** · 26-07-10, 09:19 PM

Does anyone else find it interesting that Kimbereyb and siobhan123 both responded to this as if they are the same person?

**kitkitkitty** · 26-07-10, 09:58 PM

maybe you need to write him a letter? i know it helps me. then you can vent your anger, frustration or anything on papaer, give it to him and either ask him to discuss it i person or to write back. then itl avoid any hot heads and you can mention everything that youre feeling. also tell him to stick to what he does. if he's 'responsible' enough to work and go out drinking at stupid o'clock he should know that you deserve every minute of his time.