Any Advice would be most helpful

[chimpy666]

Heres the basics guys and gals

been seeing this girl I work with well speaking via txt and work for about 2 months now and all that and we are deffinetly into each other we have been taking it slow which has been nice and she said we need to spend alot more time with each other, we also work together. we have been organising to go camping (her suggestion) next month and going out for drinks for leaving doos and birthdays and after work.

Last week we went out for some food and a few drinks and held hands and at the end of the night we kissed only on the lips, a nice kiss

but after that it felt like she went abit cold, she said jokingly never kissed a man with a beard before so I asked her what it was like and she said "stop asking little kids ask"....i wasnt being needy just breaking the ice. I have left it now not sure what to do next to be honest, if shes gone off me than thats cool or if she needs some space to think than great i just feel like i have killed it.


She text me last night saying sorry for being distant just have alot of things on my mind at the minute, we carried on texting for about an hour and then it stopped and I went to bed. her ex bpyfriend is one of her best mates and she stayed round his on an air bed on monday with some other friends, i am not jealous just dont want to be mucked around if shes getting back with him....they have been together 6 years on and off, but called it off in march this year....

Not text her tonight, went out to clear my head by going fishing, but was thinking should I give her a nice text saying that, when shes sorted it you know where i am.......friend in work says give her an ultimatum but i am not that kind of guy

First time this thing has happend to me.......very confused

[angel2002]

Well its clear that she still has a thing with her ex, thats why she was different with you after the kiss. or she didnt like your kiss, which happened to me once.
If she has a thing with her ex, you have to think and see how much are u willing to get this girl for you, then if you are, just try it, may be she leaves him to be with you. or if you dont really see her like the one for you
just move on
good luck

[gizbug]

My general rule of thumb, if someone is not over their ex, I would not waste my time pursuing them. Especially if they are still friends. Trust me, in the end it will be more headache than you need. You need to lay it out on the line, tell her how you fell. I find having communication is key with any relationship. I am not sure how good your communication is with her, but I would sit down, and tell her how you feel. Tell her you like her, want to pursue something with her, and see if she is on the same road you are. If she is not, now is the time to find out before you get too attached.


As for if you should send her a text.....again.....if she is on your mind, I would send her a quick text saying Hi. Don't chase or play games. That is a big no no for me. If I notice someone wanting me to chase them, I am like bu-bye. Let us know how it goes.

[xxazurexx]

She could be just keeping you hanging on in there, for if she doesn't get back with the ex. If he shows signs of wanting her back, you would become history.

Personally I would never pursue anyone, fresh out of a breakup and who still kept company with their ex - that is asking to be hurt.

[chimpy666]

cheers for the advice guys and gals

heres my state of mind at the minute, sent her a text saying "if you sort all your stuff out then you know where i am" she text back and we had a conversation, i think that if shes is pissed off at me why would she txt back, maybe she has got shit on her mind.

they have been off and on for 6 years shes had other boyfriends in between, she broke up with him and she has said to be me before that I am the only guy shes seeing and I am probably jumpping to massive conclusions.........

we both know how we feel about each other we made that clear long time ago.......

maybe she has just gone off me haha then theirs plenty more fish in that sea!

[Gigabitch]

Or it was the beard. Could have been the beard.

[chimpy666]

Or it was the beard. Could have been the beard.

thats a good point.

it wasnt a bloomin tramps beard tho lol its a nicely shaven trime office beard

[girl68]

Don't give up yet... but be careful about the kinds of things she does and goes with the ex- sleeping in his bed= not cool. (it also means not over).

[chimpy666]

nah shes didnt sleep in his bed

she slept round his house on a seperate air bed.

I am not giving up yet, do i ask what the issues shes got are or just let her sort them out in her own time??

[doesntcompute]

The ex didn't have a beard, you do, she is spending time at his house still?...not a good look...move on man...she is still into him sorry...plenty more out there chimpy666, good luck.

[chimpy666]

shes not back with her ex or any of that.....

I think shes just moved on.....shame.