I want her gone.

[mrman256]

So I went out with this girl and we broke up ages ago. I don't like her anymore after she acted like a massive turd after the breakup. Unfortunalty we share a class together so I wasnt able to get her out of my system properly. Now I've been on holiday for two months and haven't seen her since we split from uni. I haven't even talked to her since about January. However I can't stop thinking about her and just get angrier and angrier with every thought. I've been doing other stuff to distract myself but I'm sick of it and want her gone I hate her for what she did and how she treated me. Theres been another girl since her but it didnt come to anything and I still have these thoughts. The other problem is I'm going back to university in September and I am dreading having to put up with her crap for another year. Any advice?

[returnofthezro]

you are your own worst enemy, you can complain all you want about what she did to you, but you are the one ruining your own holiday, you said it yourself, you havent talked to her in a while and you are still sulking over it, to be honest, you are displaying female traits here, dont sulk, dont think about her if you hate her that much, surely as a male thats not too hard

if you are dreading seeing her at uni, next time you see her, just keep walking, if she tries to talk to you, keep walking, if she wont stop, call her a fat slut and keep walking, rinse and repeat, no matter how dumb she is, she will eventually get the picture, you have already broken up with her, why are you being so weak as to let her dictate your life now

[lotus petals]

hmmmmm.....sounds like some unresolved feelings here. what's going on? are you just hurt and angry or do you fantacize about getting back together? do you miss her? regardless i think its best you send her an email apologizing for anything you have done that caused her to become so angry. tell her you are willing to talk about it in detail if she needs.

then......see where it goes. resolution takes courage, good luck!

if you are positive you have no further interest in her and she was a massive turd with no provocation from you.....then know it just takes time to get over someone. even when it ends badly. some relationships take longer to get over than others. sadness is a part of life if you want to experience love. still i would send the email.

[angel2002]

You are hurt and might have some unresolved issue with her. You feel so much angry for what she did, may be this angry is a reflection of what is in your heart, And love and anger kind of walk together. So in my opinion, you still love her, her presence bothers you to the point you cant forget her even for some time because you still have feelings for her.
My opinion is: talk to her, forgive her and try to get back together, or find her tell her everything u need to say that seems to be stuck in your throat and let her ****ing go. You dont talk to her so much anymore, you guys are separated. your issue is with your feelings, and this have to be fought inside you.
Good luck

[alovehangoverr]

I agree with everyone else.. realistically, this girl isn't doing a thing to you.. it's all on you.

Did she treat you like crap? Sure. Is she a bad person? Probably.

But you guys haven't spoken since January. I get that you're not thrilled to be in a class with her or potentially see her around.. but that's fairly unavoidable. And seriously.. school is for learning, not for obsessively focusing on your ex sharing a class.

So, advice? Move on. Stop being so pissed about it-- all that anger just proves that you definitely haven't moved on.

I'm unsure about why you're giving this girl so much power over you. And seriously.. you say you're dreading having to put up with this crap for another year-- but there really isn't any "crap" you're putting up with. It would be different if she wouldn't leave you alone/constantly tried talking to you/etc.. but that's not the case.

It's all in your head.

[lotus petals]

so easy to tell him to just get over it. some relationships just take longer to get over. she may have really hurt him deeply. best thing to do is ask for the help of a therapist to move thru the anger and the hurt. thats what they are there for and why insurance in the usa covers it and is free in socialized medicine countries. if more people asked for help when they needed it we would have less emotionally wounded in the dating arena.

[mrman256]

Thanks guys for your responses. I don't know I'm really confused. I didnt really think I ever loved her when we were going out. I was going through a really tough time though when we were going out so I was not really in a place to be in a relationship. I think she sensed this. It wasnt till after she left me that I realised how much I missed her. Then she started spreading lies and rumours about me though and shouting out all my insecurities around. I dont know why she did this it was unprovoked but I was upset and we got in a big argument. It doesnt matter anymore I guess but I'm still upset I'm dealing with it a bit better now though.