boyfriend of 20 months thinks we're becoming best friends.

[kitkitkitty]

my long-term boyfriend told me the other day that he feels like we're becoming best friends even though he still loves me, kisses me and all the bf/gf stuff is still very much there. we've obviously been through a lot and are closer and talk more than i think best friends even do. he's scared as he doesn't want to feel like this and my feelings are far from the same, as it was a huge shock. i think that we can make it through cos i think that you know youve got a great guy/girl when you feel that close that you can tell them everything. he even said he might want me as a friend at his birthday party at the end of august which was a huge blow to the chest. he says im the last person he wants to hurt and i believe him. i don't want to force or pressurize him but i think that this is just another hurdle. i don't and can't see us fading away. what am i supposed to do? neither of us are sure.

[returnofthezro]

what the ****?? that doesnt make any sense, some of the more experienced board members might be able to chime in, but i would think the base of any relationship, would be friendship - i mean you have to like the person and enjoy their company to be able to stand being around them all the time, surely friendship has to exist

the cynical side of me is thinking he is trying to find a way to dump you, because breaking up with someone purely because they you are becoming too good of friends just seems retarded and a bit backwards

[Gigabitch]

It sounds to me like he's attracted to other people. He's certainly giving you the clear message that he's not attracted to you any more.

I don't know if he's trying to let you down easy or what, but being friends with this guy is going to be impossible. That's just easier for him. That just doesn't work when one person still wants to be together and the other doesn't, so don't go for that. If he gives you some crap about how he doesn't want to lose you completely, remember that it's not your responsibility to help ease him through the difficult experience of breaking up with you.

[kitkitkitty]

i know i don't understand it and maybe i just need to remind him. maybe for him to feel like i'm more a gf that best friend should i txt him less? we've got into a pattern of txting and talking every night which is something he's always liked doing. i gave him space last night but i don't see what's happened. he went away for 11 days and contrary to me thinking that he'd come back saying how much he wanted to be with me he says he feels me becoming the 'best girl mate' he's been looking for. i don't want to give up on us we've been through so much. he says it'd be mutual but how can it be when i don't feel the same?

[kitkitkitty]

i don't know why he wouldn't be attracted to me anymore because the whole physical side hasn.t changed whatsoever which confuses me even more. i don't want to see the way he looks at me change. and with stuff about being attracted to other people, he's the type of person who would come out with it and not drag it out. maybe you're right i don't know.

[Gigabitch]

I think he met someone when he went away for 11 days.

[kitkitkitty]

he goes away quite a lot and i know he'd tell me if something like that happened. the thing is, is that he says he wants to be with me but has said when we were together for just a few weeks that we wouldn't last long. now at 20 months?! i know he takes one day at a time with us but i have no idea why he's changed. i know he has girl mates and i'm fine with it cos i trust him. he loves meeting new people, including girls and ive learnt to accept that. what else could it be? i really don't know.

[PussyCatDoll]

I saw you post this on another forum aswell. I suggest you should talk to him - becasue only he can tell you what he's thinking

Personally, I would love a bf/bff combo

[kitkitkitty]

PussyCatDoll... sorry yeah, i just want as many opinions from other people. we've talked a lot but i think we came to a block and need other people's views. and so do i, i think it's an awesome idea.

[PussyCatDoll]

Maybe he wants a break and isn't man enough to admit it so he's waiting for you to suggest it?

but again, thats a 'maybe..'

[kitkitkitty]

i know what you mean but i think that if he's man enough to do this, he could be honest about anything and we've always been like that. it's just completely out of nowhere.

[xxazurexx]

I'm going with Giga....prepare yourself for the 'break up'.

[angel2002]

I am sorry girl but this man is no longer yours. He doesnt love you anymore those phisical side hasnt changed. If he is starting to see u as his best friend, then its a signal that things are bad. prepare yourself for the ultimatum ,break up.
Hopefully, we are all wrong, and he is that sweet kind of guy that can share such a great friendhsip bound with the love of his life
good luck