My ex is finding new ways to tear me apart... what am I supposed to do?

[soulsurvivor23]

My ex who I was very much in love with for a long time had a long distance bf while we were dating which I didn't know about for 8 months, as i've posted on here quite a few times. For 2 years I stuck around and listened to her lies and bs about how i'm really the one she wants to be with and that as soon as he breaks up with her we can be together... Earlier this summer he actually did break up with her and I was there for her, thinking that finally I had a legitimate chance. She then proceeded to blame me for the breakup as well as to say that we will always be friends and nothing more. That hurt meet so deeply and I felt like my past 2 years had been a complete waste. I told her that I didn't want to speak with her anymore and that I don't want her friendship.

I was really sad, but as a recent college graduate I decided I was gonna travel around and have a mini-vacation to take my mind away from things. My travels took me to Atlanta where I met up with a former friend, long story short after a few weeks we ended up deciding to date and make it official. Ironically, on the EXACT same day that we got together, my ex contacts me after previously not speaking to me for the past 2 months. She tells me that she's sorry for not knowing what she wanted before, how she's sorry for the way she treated me, how she knows that i'm the one she wants, exclusively, how she was stupid before and that she loves me dearly and wants me back... Unbelievable. So I didn't think it would cause such an emotional response from me but it really did. I lashed out at her, but mainly because my heart felt so torn and upset that after her bf broke up with her she told me that if i'm around it will never be more than friendship and not to ever expect anything more out of her. All that time I had been around for two years asking, begging for her love, begging for her to be with me and only me, and she refused.. And now when I finally start feeling happy and forgetting about her, as well as moving forward with someone else, she happens to come right back and say all the things I always wanted to hear.

What in the world is wrong with me? I'm with someone I truly love, someone who makes me so happy, someone who's down for me and only me, someone who is mature, responsible and knows exactly what she wants, and yet the things my ex has said to me are making me think twice about things? What in the world am I supposed to do?

[QueenofCorona]

I think girl #1 has finally realized everyone got sick of her shit and now its swim or sink so she's clinging to you. I take it her ex doesn't want her back. If someone shows you who they really are, believe them the first time. I think she feeds off your weakness for her. Forget her, don't be her emotional tampon. You have someone you love who you say is good to you. If you ditch your new lady for your ex, then you are no better than your ex's fickle behavior.

[soulsurvivor23]

I think she feeds off your weakness for her.

I completely agree with this. Because when I lashed out at her, she said to me "if you're really happy with your girlfriend then what reason do you have to be upset with me?"

[IncognitoSir]

As queenofcorona stated, keep doing what you're doing. Maintain that NC. She's not worth you losing your happines over. She's a user and you can do better bro.

[QueenofCorona]

She's being selfish and not a good friend. If she was a good friend she'd respect your happiness, not try to muttle it up. If the throws that in your face again, tell her exactly that. I'll give her that people don't always know what they had til its gone but she should learn a lesson from this and try to be a better woman, friend, girlfriend, going forward.

[soulsurvivor23]

As queenofcorona stated, keep doing what you're doing. Maintain that NC. She's not worth you losing your happines over. She's a user and you can do better bro.

The problem is that I got into an exchange with her and now she feels like the floodgates are opened. Now she sends me text messages day and night saying how she loves me, how i'm the one for her, and how if I truly look in my heart it will tell me that we are meant for one another. Even though i've stopped responding, she continues to send, relentlessly, and they are really getting to me.

[IncognitoSir]

I completely agree with this. Because when I lashed out at her, she said to me "if you're really happy with your girlfriend then what reason do you have to be upset with me?"

Dont let her twist your emotions like that. you're upset for the same reason in which she's apologizing. Keep her in your past and build a future with your new gf.

[IncognitoSir]

The problem is that I got into an exchange with her and now she feels like the floodgates are opened. Now she sends me text messages day and night saying how she loves me, how i'm the one for her, and how if I truly look in my heart it will tell me that we are meant for one another. Even though i've stopped responding, she continues to send, relentlessly, and they are really getting to me.

Just blacklist her. You know she useing you as her last resort because her bf wont get back with her. Why would you wanna be the backup plan, not to mention you have a gf. Ask yourself, where were all these feelings she has for you when she was blaming you for her bf breaking up with her. After she lied to you telling you that she really wanted to be with you. Dont be foolish here.

[VincenzoG91]

Don't answer her calls. Don't read her texts. Change her contact name on your phone to HELL NO. Delete her from your Facebook. Ignore her emails. Take any letters, cards, mementos, etc that remind you of her and put them in a box. Wrap that box up tight with duct tape and put it out of sight in storage. For all practical purposes, act like she died and you have moved on, and this contact is a sick joke by an impostor. That should cover everything.

[Gigabitch]

Smack yourself in the back of the head for even entertaining the idea of going back to her. She's rotten. You're just in the habit of wanting her. You don't REALLY want her any more, you just want to win her over so you won't feel so rejected.

Think of the time you'll save just rejecting her right now. Do it.

[pringlej]

stick with the new girl, she sounds nice and since you love her, don't do anything to hurt her. The old girl is not worth it.

[soulsurvivor23]

Yeah she is really great to me. And in fact I told her about this situation (of course not quite in the same way i've put it on here), and surprisingly she didn't get all upset with me like other girls i've dated would have. She just calmly told me that she recommends for me to just tell her I forgive but that i've moved on and want no further interaction with her. And then just delete and ignore any further messages I receive from her.

[IncognitoSir]

Yeah she is really great to me. And in fact I told her about this situation (of course not quite in the same way i've put it on here), and surprisingly she didn't get all upset with me like other girls i've dated would have. She just calmly told me that she recommends for me to just tell her I forgive but that i've moved on and want no further interaction with her. And then just delete and ignore any further messages I receive from her.

Yeah, why would you wanna pass on a chick like that? You know what you need to do and your gf is standing behind you supporting you all the way, now get to it!

[soulsurvivor23]

Thanks all! I think I had a momentary lapse but i'm not gonna let her tempt me anymore. She was out of my life for a reason and it's gotta stay that way, she had her chance!

[Teddy057]

Typical chick wanting what she sees has left her for good. I guaran****ingtee if you gave in to this little game she's playing she would leave your ass in a split second a few weeks down the road. She's dead to you, tell her that. A smart man would never stick around after being toyed with like that, and I want to think you're an intelligent guy. So, don't even think about giving her dumb ass a chance.

By the way, I really like this idea by Vince: Change her contact name on your phone to HELL NO. Perhaps I'll even do that to my ex's number in my phone, that way every time the dumb bitch texts me drunk I will get one hell of a laugh out of it.

If you were to leave this current girl you're dating for this train wreck, you may as well get MORON tattooed on your forehead. I don't care if this old girl is 10x more attractive, being treated nice and being appreciated is so much more rewarding then having a trophy bitch. She's part of your past. Keyword here is PAST. She is out of your life, for good. Again, let her know she's dead to you, maybe that will shut her up.

When us human beings are put through shitty situations, like in your case being used for 2 years, we are meant to learn from them. In your case, I would hope you know what a terrible person this girl is, and that she has absolutely no chance being with you. Her part in your story is over bro, simple as that.