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Thread: Oh This Weekend... I need help!

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    Oh This Weekend... I need help!

    Recently, I've spent the last 5 days out of town with my sister and her husband. Thursday, one of my sister's friends came to where we were and hung out with us on a daily basis and went partying at nights with us. Sunday, we spent a lot of time alone together due to a 5 hour road trip we had to do. During that time, we never stopped talking to each other. She told me all about her life, her exes, her career, and her ambitions in life. I mostly listened, as thats what I like to do. During the car ride, I couldn't help but notice a growing fixation I had with her, I was mesmerized by her. I wanted nothing more than to be with her, but I was put off by a few things she had told me like how she was swearing off men and relationships for a year or so due to a recent break up last December. She also told me that when she was 18, she was in a serious relationship with a 24 year old that last 2 years. Now she's 24 and I'm 18. I've had relationships with women in the past, but never have a gotten this caught up on someone before.
    A little bit more info:
    She's always touching me whenever she has an excuse to. She wrote me a note saying how I'm a nice guy, and that the reason they finish last is because they're too bust getting all the women, and that if I'm nice then one day I'll find out just how bad said felines can be. Yesterday, before she fell asleep, we had another really deep discussion about our lives, just further proving how easily we can talk to each other.
    I'm so confused by this situation, I think she likes me the way i do her, but the things she has told me keep throwing me off. I wont see her for about 2 months, but I want to keep talking to her. What should I do?

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    Key phrase here is, she just got out of a relationship. I'm SURE she likes you a lot, but that doesnt mean she's ready to date you. Be very careful unless you're ok being a rebound because if you get with her, thats most likely what you'll be. I wouldnt burn any bridges with her, but tread carefully on this one, give it time......plenty of time.

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    ^^ i agree. she may also want more time to get to know you, so she can establish in her own mind what you are to her. keep in contact but let her make the 1st move in this case, as she's more fragile than she would normally be.

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    The age difference to me is the biggest no-no. Not that its a huuuuge difference but when you're far from legal and she has been for some time I think that will be the basis of many future fights and arguements.

    But if you insist get on the chat lines and keep messaging her while you can't see her. Let the feelings grow freely on both sides. Try to keep some of the conversation light as opposed to ALWAYS talking about love and boys/ girls. Because as you said somethings have already put you off. DON'T BE TALKING ABOUT WHOM SLEPT WITH WHO, WHEN, WHERE AND HOW MANY << seriously, trust me when I say steer clear of all sex talk with past girls/ boys.

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    Oops, accidentally double posted.
    Last edited by DazedanConfused; 28-07-10 at 02:37 AM.

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    Thank you all, that helped. How should I go about keeping said chat lines open? Oh, and fyi, I'm willing to wait as long as needed for this girl, even if that means another year. Is that something she should know?

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    There's too much of an age difference. I would say a three year difference would be okay at that age but that's it.
    I will do my best to reply with an educated, humble and honest answer. Ultimately, it is up to you whether you want to listen to my advice or ignore it completely. Sometimes, my advice may be wrong; occasionally, it will be right. Regardless, I want to do my best to give people answers they are seeking.

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    I would say the same too, but my sister and her husband are further apart in age than me and her. A bit more info here that could help is the fact that I will be 21 by the time I could actually have a very serious relationship with her due to schooling. I turn 19 in less than a month too.

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    Although age is a factor in relationships, it doesnt mean you dont have to try.. After all, if you say you're willing to wait for another year.. seems like u are serious with this girl. I think the best approach is to befriend her, get to know her first.. Dont rush things. Just wait and see how things can develop between the two of you, meantime keep it all light.. see what happens.
    Don't take life too serious. You'll never escape it alive anyway. Join my free online video course to increase your chances to find true love in http://www.HelpMeSydney.com

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    yeah, dont be the rebound guy. be her friend and just allow her to fall in love with you. everything will be clear, just give it a little time. keep in contact, emails messages. just light topics. dont always talk about relationships.
    I pretty much summarized what everyone else wrote!

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    This sounds desperate and that is very, very bad. I think you're way too young to be waiting around for a year to be with some older chick that will probably not wait for you... I'm sorry harsh truth.

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    i agree with girl but am a little more optomistic . i agree with what everyone has said here. your best bet is to just be friendly with the girl. key thing though is to not spend the whole time waiting for something to develop with her. use the time as a means to grow yourself, get yourself out there and explore what it is that you really want/need from a girl. she is friends with your sister so it's not like you will never see her, i'm sure you will cross paths again and on multiple occasions. just consider her a friend and go on with your life. girl's right in saying that you sound a bit desperate. don't "wait" for this girl, just go on with your life and if the time is right, you guys may eventually have something happen. just don't wait for it.

    and don't throw out the possibility that she might have been flirting with you because she enjoyed the attention. you are a younger guy and vulnerability is attractive to women. having a younger guy flirt back could be a self-esteem booster for her. it's a really selfish thing to do, but it's possible, so keep your mind open.
    the love you take is equal to the love you make

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    I understand how you can view what I said as desperate. The thing is though, I'm not desperate looking for girls, I'm desperate for the feeling I get when I'm around this one girl. I'm actually hoping it will pass, this whole situation is crazy! How is it that after spending so little time with her, I cant stop thinking about her? I'm starting to sounds crazy now...

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    You just said you're desperate for this girl that means desperate. Waiting for a girls you barely know, won't see for a year at the age of 18 yes son, I'm sorry but that sounds quite desperate.

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