i'm pregnant.

[Katie_melender]

my periods have been all over the place since i started the pill so i didnt worry when i missed one. I then noticed little things, my stomach felt really heavy with little pains and my breats became really tender, i thought just to be sure as im pretty paranoid id take a test... i was shocked when it came back positive.
I dont know how to feel, other than scared. Im absolutely terrified of telling my boyfriend. We've been together a year, im 20 and he's 21. I Dont want children this young, but could deal with it. My boyfriend has however made it evry clear he deosnt want kids yet - i cant blame him, so im really scared what he will say/do.
Ive always disagreed with abortions, i believed if you're silly enough to become pregant after all the ways to prevent it, it shouldnt be allowed... unless special circumstances occur. However, im considering one. I took contraception to make sure i didnt get pregnant.. and i really dont feel im ready to become a mum. I suffer badly with depression and me and my boyfriend are not the most stable couple in the world. How abd would it be not to tell him?

[IncognitoSir]

It would be pretty bad. He needs to know, after all, it did take both of you to get pregnant right. He has a right to know, whether he's ready or not......he needs to know.

[Mish]

Tell your bf and come up with a joint decision. Think all of the options very carefully through before making this decision.

[RdHrshyKss]

Talk to him about it. Give him a say in it. You say you are having major doubts about it, and from what you described of him, he will probably be right there with you. Discuss the options and come to a joint decision like mish said. Worst case scenario is that you lose him...but it would be a blessing in disguise anyways (you already say your relationship is unstable) because it will reveal his true colors and will save you the time and energy on a relationship that wouldn't work. Then you would be the ultimate decision maker at that point. You guys did this together, and you should work it out together...that's just my 2 cents.

[omgamandaa]

YOU MUST TELL HIM. If he finds out you had an abortion and didn't tell you, it will make him angry. Talk to him about what you're thinking. Tell him that you want to still be with him and want him to have a say in what happens. Don't lie to him though.

[kitkitkitty]

i think you got the point.... tell him and from what you say, he'll act the same as you. then make a joint decision.

[Raze]

He has a right to know. It's his kid too. You guys will figure something out.

[Gigabitch]

Decide what YOU want to do and then have a talk with him. What he says may or may not change your decision, but you shouldn't come to him expecting him to make it for you.

Telling him at all is not up to question- it would be horribly wrong to keep this from him, if for no other reason than to inform him that your birth control solution isn't working well.

[qwertz]

I think you need to decide whats best for you, you also need to tell him and talk to him about it, whatever you decide you will need his support.

[ecojeanne]

it's your body. never forget that. it's your choice. like giga said, it's a situation you need to decide and weigh up options. you must tell him tho and find out what he thinks. but ultimately it's your body, your decision.

[jenniferx]

Hm. Just wondering..you said you don't have the most stable relationship. MAYBE I'm jumping to conclusions (probably am but no one else said it so I will) you don't mean he is abusive do you? Because in that case I think it is a whole other story

[angel2002]

The same happened to me, i was younger than you tough i was 18 he was 23. We werent a stable couple at all, same issues as you. I decided not to abort, and today i raise my 5 years old daughter alone, since she was 3 months old when i broke up with her dad.
I love her but i do struggle financially, but what matter is, i made a mistake and i accepted it and dealt with it, if i had made an abortion i'd be miserable today
good luck dealing with it, go for it girl, its awesome being a mother and al the happiness that come along make the problems small and insignificant

[adam95]

now i like your response angel2002
not much people are so smart and responsible at such a young age.

[Kagerou]

I think it's great people can manage to bring up their children alone but is it really how you'd want it to be? I have 3 (4th on the way) children and I wouldn't change it for the world but it does have downsides, you should think carefully about the things you will/won't be able to do once you have a child.

[adam95]

yeah, im sure you'll have to sacrifice a lot. i cant say much as im not experienced but having a child will change your life. it may be hard at first but as long as you have friends and family who support you, you'll be just fine.