Email from ex

[oneandonly]

I got one yesterday out of blue.

My first response was 'how dare does he still call me by my nickname?' He made that nickname so only he calls me that.

We had a bitter ending as I kicked him out of my place when I found out he gave his number to a random girl and said to her that she's gorgeous and would love to take her out. That was Feb. We didn't see each other for 6 months.

He always keeps his ex as friends. I don't. After our break up, he said we would slowly cut contacts and then that would be it. We wouldn't remain as friends although he does with his other ex-s.

All it says is 'how are you? hope you are well' but that nickname annoys me cos it made me 'think'!

Some people said that everyone makes a mistake. I didn't give him a chance to say anything as I packed everything and got ready for him to leave when he returned from work and called a taxi right away. What a way of finishing 3 years' relationship!

What's there to say? That's what I thought. He just didn't care enough about me as far as I knew.

To this, someone said, my ex could've thought exactly that. I didn't care enough about him and give him a chance to explain himself.

I was mega bitter during and after the break up. The first text he sent after he left that night was, 'So sorry it has ended this way. One day I hope we can be friends because you are an amzing woman and I still want you to be in my life'.

Next day or so, I emailed him, 'Amazing woman? Are you kidding me? Because that's how you treat an amazing woman? So sorry? Like you didn't know what you were doing?!....'

I made it very clear that I didn't want to know him or his life any more. As far as I was concerned, he didn't exist any more. blah blah.. it was sad and bitter.

I am not bitter any more. Have found peace with myself and him in my own way.

I removed him from MSN but not deleted him. He once initiated talking, asking me if I was watching World Cup. It was early in June. He knows I like football. I said, Of course. Then, he asked me about my new place and said he's in a temporary place and is planning to look for a permanent place with his friend. To which, I said 'Cool'. That was it. Since then, my MSN is always offline.

Then, I got this email. All it says can mean nothing more than what it says really. I am not interested in being friends with him nor being his back up or whatever. But I'd love to give another go only if he fights hard for me.

I don't even know if he wants me or not.

I tend to write a long reply, which then leads him to believe I am being dramatic I have decided to not reply at all. But then, how will I ever know?

I am suck at a relationshp

So how should I reply? How long should I wait before I reply? I got the email yesterday.

[kitkitkitty]

well like you say, he likes to keep in contact with ex partners...for back-ups or other reasons. its your right to not want the same thing, plus it was you that kicked him out. he shouldve got the message from the blocking on msn. i think leave it and next time you get an email, txt whatever tell him that you don't wana be part of his life, end of. he may try to contact you a few times after that but stick to your guns and don't reply, you've given him a proper reason after all.

[Gigabitch]

I don't think this guy is going to fight hard for you. He's looking for the easy way back in. He thinks you've forgotten or forgiven without him doing a single thing to make it happen, just letting time go by.

Look at his actions. What has he done to get you back? Not much.

[IncognitoSir]

How should you reply? What is it that YOU want? Sounds like you're ready to take him back. If you are actually at peace with yourself and him then this is a very easy decision for you. Simply don't reply and there ya go, problem solved, but you really still wanna be with him right? If you reply you need to be clear with him, what you want and what he wants needs to be put on the table and a mutual decision needs to be made from their. You guys didn't end well at all so I wouldn't get my hopes up for the future between yourself. History has a way of repeating itself ya know.

[Kayla]

I really don't think there is much of an "explanation" he can give. He gave his number to another girl and his intentions with her were pretty clear if you ask me.

I know that people make mistakes but this makes me wonder if he hasn't done other things that you never found out about? How did you find out about this incident? It is up to you if you want to give him another chance; after three years its understandable that you might want to. Were there other issues going on here?

[oneandonly]

I don't think this guy is going to fight hard for you. He's looking for the easy way back in. He thinks you've forgotten or forgiven without him doing a single thing to make it happen, just letting time go by.

Look at his actions. What has he done to get you back? Not much.

This is pretty much why I did not reply. Some poster said somewhere that guys who are not willing to fight for a girl are not good providers or protectors. I could so relate this to him. I often wondered if it's me that he thinks is not worthy of fighting for.

He hasn't done a single thing to fight for us or me. I know he was hurt and upset being kicked out that way but he deserved it.

Maybe it's just me that he doesn't want to fight for but I don't really think he is kinda guy who fights hard for a girl. I don't wanna break NC for a chit chat. But then, I cannot tell him abruptly that he's gotta fight hard for me if he wants me. I mean, it's not like he suggested anything.... Or shall I? I could make myself really stupid though if he's in a relationship now although I doubt he is.

[kitkitkitty]

i didn't think you wanted him back. if you start talking it may open everything up again and if all the bitterness has [finally] gone, is there any point going back there if you know what he's like?

[oneandonly]

I really don't think there is much of an "explanation" he can give. He gave his number to another girl and his intentions with her were pretty clear if you ask me.

I know that people make mistakes but this makes me wonder if he hasn't done other things that you never found out about? How did you find out about this incident? It is up to you if you want to give him another chance; after three years its understandable that you might want to. Were there other issues going on here?

We had the usual ups and downs. But in general I was pretty happy. I thought he was too. He went to Thai trip that he had planned for a long time. After a few days he got to Bangkok, he asked me to fly over. Had I joined him, things might ha've been different. In a way I am glad I didn't though. I knew he would enjoy it eventually anyway. And I thought it would do good to him. When he got back, he met his mate and went to Thai restaurant in London. He apparently fancied one Thai waitress. Gave his number to another waitress and asked her to give his number to that girl. The girl texted him Sunday evening. He texted back with what's said in the original post. It was about a week after he got back from his Thai trip that this happened. I was ill that weekend. He was very distant. And that texting back and forth around midnight was warning sign to me. So I read his text whilst he was in shower Monday morning. I packed and called a taxi for him when he got back from work that night.

He must've had time of his life and wanted to carry on. I don't know.

[Kayla]

Im thinking there has been cheating that has gone on before and you never found out..

[MsSydneyLane]

If you have already moved on, you should not be affected with whatever he does (ie email, text, call) Sometimes when you think of all the time and effort you wasted, you want to save the relationship. But you must make a good decision here. A man who is matured and willing to fight for the relationship will not simply let go of an amazing woman. He had his chance before and he blew it. You deserve happiness and peace of mind. Remember he is not the last man on earth. Cheer up girl... its raining men!!!!

[MsSydneyLane]

Listen to your instincts. A woman's instinct is usually correct. What made you check his celphone? Doubts.. He has probably done something different/ unusual that could trigger this attitude from u. The fact that he gave his number to that waitress is a sign he not only thinks shes hot but he wants to do something with her.