help and opinions please!

[helpneeded]

Hi everyone, this is my first post but ive had an argument this morning with my boyfriend, and have spoken to a couple of my friends about it who both have sympathised with me. But, of course they would because their both my friends. i just wounderd if anyone of the forum could give me thier opinion on our argument because it will be less biased. so bare with me, it may be a long story...

Basically ive met my boyfriend while living at university in leeds, weve been together just over a year and i had been living in leeds but moved out of my university house about 2 months ago and have moved back home. since then i have been visiting my boyfriend everyweek and staying at his house for about 3 or 4 days in a row. The thing is my boyfriend runs his own buisness, he works around 12 hours aday and then works usually until 4'o clock on a saturday. I work aswell, but only part time hours so i usually arange my working hours around visiting my boyfriend and staying at his house. In the whole year me and my boyfriend have been together he has only been to visit me at home twice, i tend to put up with this because i know he works such long hours and we don't really go out much also because hes usually tired from work. I try not to complain about this because i do love my boyfriend alot and appreciated how hard he works. So ill come to the reason we had an argument, ive been asking my boyfriend to come and stay with me for the wknd at my parents house for weeks, and he finally agreed this wknd to come down as my parents are on holiday. He then told me today he wouldnt be able to come down tomorrow after work because his cars broken, i was upset because ive arranged for us to go out on saturday night and sunday with my friends. so i said why cant you get the train down? (i only live in sheffield to its not a long journey) he just started moaning and said its to much hassel to get the train and started making excuses, and i got mad and we started arguing and then he said i was being unreasonable and said hes got stress on with work and having to pay for his car to be fixed and dosen't need hassel off me and he couldn't see why i was so mad. so i hung up on him. This was about 11 this morning and we havn't spoken since. I just feel really upset because i put so much effort in to our relationship visiting him and i appreciate he works so he can't always come to see me, but it would be nice for him to do it once and i just feel like he puts his job before our relationship. what does everyone think? im sorry this is so long. Thanks!

[Gigabitch]

It sounds like this situation isn't going to improve, since this is his own business and not some temporary job he's working. You have a lot more of this to look forward to. I think standing up for yourself is a good idea.

Unfortunately, hanging up on someone is quite rude and may give you more trouble than satisfaction. I wish you hadn't done that.

Overall, I think he doesn't have time for you.

[helpneeded]

i know i shouldn't have hung up i was just really angry and upset, i know what your saying seems right because i feel like i am just fit in around his working life. id just find it really hard to end it because i love him and he is a lovely boyfriend apart from his working routine thanks for your advice

[lilxcutie53]

one of the main things ive learned is not to get all upset when my bf cancels. Even though I know he is making excuses not to come, I just pretend everything is ok. The reason I do this is because it doesnt make my bf feel pressured. I just think that if he really liked you he would go through that hassle of trying to come visit you! OR atleast make the effort to come up the following weekend. and if he doesnt pull through with that, then I would say forget it. Dont make a fuss about it, and the next time he tries to make an effort to come, I wouldnt buy it and then be like "are you sure u really wanna come visit me? you've said before your work gets really busy and I dont want to intrude on your work" for some reason that always works for me