does he love me?

[smartygirl]

I am a 36 year old ex model who has just come out of a very lonely marriage...I moved to Canada and felt extremely lonely..I met a young guy (16 years my junior) on a dating site..We started a relationship about six months ago..He lives about two hours away from me and used to come every weekend to book into a hotel to see me. Our relationship was like a fairy tale! We seemed totaly inlove and told each other so every time we saw each other..When it was time to part on a Sunday we would both be in tears!
About three months ago it was the same..We cried and he left..two days later he left me a message on facebook to tell me he only wanted to be friends! I was totaly devistated and I cried for days! He apologized! I missed him terribly..He used to tell me all the time how beautiful I am..he dined me..sent me the most beautiful love letters but they stopped after we broke up...
We kept contact but often we fought badly! I would sit and cry on skype while he stared at me!...He was still very jealous and every now and then questioned if I had met anybody else..Our relationship was tense..one minute it seemed we were together and the next he would drop the bomb and say he loves me only as a friend..but got very angry when he questioned who a new guy was I became friends with on Facebook..It seemed to be an emotional rollercoster..he wanted me but did not...
About one months ago he woke me up at 2am to go on skype..he told me he had been seeing a girl for a few weeks and he was spending the weekend with her and he did not want me to text!..I was shocked!..I felt phsically ill because I love him.. One week after that he told me he misses me and not with her anymore..We kept contact..mostly on skype.. He said He would come and see me again when he had the money..This whole week he has been absolutely fantastic! Although we are not officially together he calls me angel..tells me he loves me (he is not one who often says that) and begs me to move closer to him when my lease expires in August..What worries me is while we are on skype and his phone rings he turns off the camera! I question him but he jokes and says "its only my girlfriend..JOKING!"..I also notice he texts a lot while we are sitting on skype (sometimes for hours)..He sometimes goes out and then his phone is off for hours!..
I have young children and if I move to his town I am worried he has somebody and then I am making a big mistake! I tried the NO CONTACT rule about one and a half weeks ago but was not able to go through with it..he was calling me frantically... Will the NO CONTACT rule make him think if I do try it again
He has been very attached to me this past two week... wanting to see me on skype more..telling me he is inlove with me..also displaying a lot of jealousy..When he saw me on msn he accused me of chatting with another man and then when he saw me on skype (I was talking to my family), he accused me again..When I told him it was over he said "no!"..I deleted him off facebook AGAIN... He had a tantrum about that and demanded I add him "add me back Now!"..We had a very big fight yesterday..he called me an "old hag"..also said that he does not need an old woman who is trying to be like a teenager.. we made up again when he called me and he told me he did not mean what he said..
He is saying he loves me more often but I has still not made the effort to come and see me. He makes an excuse that he lives two hours away and does not have bus and hotel money..he does however say all the time that he will come as soon as he can...
I am trying to trust him but I still think he sees somebody and can't get away..Sometimes he turns his phone off for hours (he tells me he was napping)..he also still turns his sound of skype when his phone rings..What do you think... Am I fighting a losing battle?
I am confused and depressed because I love this guy!

[girl68]

Don't post the same thread twice....

[Gigabitch]

Did your parents raise you to disrespect yourself so much? I'm appalled with the amount of crap this guy is getting away with.

In my opinion, you should never, ever speak to this sorry excuse for a man ever again. Not only is he too young for you, he's a horrible person and I think he could use an asskicking.

Does he love you? Hell, no. You can do a lot better. If not for yourself, think of the example you're providing to your kids. Do you really want to teach them that this is how love is supposed to be?

[Gigabitch]

Don't post the same thread twice....

I merged them together.

[VincenzoG91]

That's a big age difference, but the fundamental problem seems to be that he is immature and also a jerk. He will probably still be like that as he gets older. Aside from that, long-distance relationships are usually problematic. I suggest that you date locally from now on. And since you already have young kids, look for guys with more maturity and stability, because you already have enough dependents.

[IndiReloaded]

To cut to the chase: NO he doesn't love you. Sorry.

[xxazurexx]

He's a kid and IMO, not mature enough to be involved in something serious. At his age that is hardly surprising.

[smartygirl]

I appreciate everybody's advice on this.. It has been extremely difficult for me because I have honestly never felt such love before..I know the age difference is big..but we never thought about age or distance when we saw each other.. I got on with him and I still do when things are going smoothly..He has shown me more love, attention and concern then my husband of my age..
Today I had enough though, I deleted him off facebook and would not anser his calls or text..He told me he would kill himself and that I must not leave him..He asked me if he can talk to me tonight when he get back .. This is so diffiuclt for me and I will appreciate more advice please.

[asdfg789]

He has shown me more love, attention and concern then my husband of my age..

That's not love - it is just infatuation. He sounds totally immature and emotionally unstable.
It will likely be some years before he is done playing the field and is ready to settle down.
In the meantime, continuing contact with him will destroy you and impact your kids negatively.

Cut all contact. Change your number if you can.

[IndiReloaded]

I appreciate everybody's advice on this.. It has been extremely difficult for me because I have honestly never felt such love before..I know the age difference is big..but we never thought about age or distance when we saw each other.. I got on with him and I still do when things are going smoothly..He has shown me more love, attention and concern then my husband of my age..
Today I had enough though, I deleted him off facebook and would not anser his calls or text..He told me he would kill himself and that I must not leave him..He asked me if he can talk to me tonight when he get back .. This is so diffiuclt for me and I will appreciate more advice please.

This^ is just another sign he's completely immature. You did the right thing, keep up the No Contact. Yes, it hurts. But you are hurting for what you hoped might be, not what actually IS. You'll find someone more suitable. You know this guy was meant to be a fling to get over your husband and not meant to be a long term thing.

[angel2002]

Big age difference is not an issue. The issue is get over it. He does not love you, you are beautiful, young can have a man that respects you and treat you nice. A 20 years old boy and not mature for what you told cant give you a good future.
Move on and love yourself at first place. i know a broken heart is awful, but your life continues
Good luck

[smartygirl]

You are all making me feel better thankyou... I am going to try to keep up No Contact.. but I am very sad and depressed about everything.. To me it felt like love..He wrote me such beautiful love letters..told me I am his queen and he loves me more then he loves his own parents... I would most deffinately try and stick it out with him but I can not establish if there is somebody else..That is what is bothering me the most. I don't know where he is tonight..he says I must just trust him and stop having trust issues, but how can I trust him when he turns his cam off every time his phone rings and when he disappears for an evening turning his phone off.... just makes me wonder...

[xxazurexx]

The point where he said he would kill himself, would have been the point of no return for me.

He's mentally unstable and I don't succomb to emotional blackmail.

You also contadict yourself in your posts. You said you were no contact and were keeping up no contact - then you say you don't know where he is tonight, he told you to trust him, but he turns his phone off. So how come he managed to tell you that you can trust him about tonight, if you aren't in contact??