Haunted by girlfriends past :((

[CraigQQ]

I know i'm most likely to get response such as; get over it, grow up etc but i wouldn't be here for advice if i didn't love her so much.

Basically whats eating away at me is her sexual past, we both live in a very small town and i saw her out clubbing etc way before i knew her/we got together.

I only met her because she was my ex-girlfriend's best mate, and me and my ex-girlfriend hooked my current girlfriend up with my best friend at the time. (hope i havn't confused you yet) anyway he ended up giving her chlamydia and they broke up.

2 months later me and my ex-girlfriend broke up and i started talking to her best mate, anyway after getting to know each other properly we fell for each other and got together... needless to say her and my ex don't talk anymore.


The thing that's bugging me is i'm only 19 and had 3 sexual partner including her, where as she has slept with 16 people and had a threesome with 2 men, both of which i know personally and are complete dicks, she's only 18.

She went through a tough 4 year relationship of being treated like ass and was cheated on 3 times. She finally broke up with him a 9 months ago, and since then she just rebelled and felt like sleeping with guys made her feel better, that they weren't all just out to hate her.

When i'm with her, it doesn't even cross my mind, but when i have time to think alone i can't get it out of my head, i really don't know why.

It doesn't help that some of her one-nighters i see out in pubs clubs etc and they come up to me and talk to me shake my hand all that, because i knew them before i got with her, and a few of them are actually friends. It's just constant reminders.

I love her so bloody much, i adore her and her family, especially her little sister.. they have asked me to move in yesterday as i am having problems at home, just until we save for our own place. We have only been together for 2 months, but have spent every night of that 2 months together, only time apart is for work.


It's jsut bugging me, and i feel like i want to get more experience with other woman, i feel like i want higher numbers.. and this is not good.. i think she knows i feel like something is wrong, as she has told me if i ever want to experiment she will allow another woman to join us for sex (threesome) because i think she knows i feel inexperienced and unhappy about it.

I just can't stand to think of these other men enjoying her, shes so delicate and funny it just hurts me.

[lahnnabell]

You guys are moving way too fast. You both are going to burn out on each other at this rate. And you're possibly moving in in addition to already contemplating moving in together? Way too fast.

I know you're excited to be with her, but please listen when I say that too fast, so soon rarely does anyone any good. Especially when you are this young.

I stayed with my boyfriend's family for a time last year when I fell on financial hard times, and I worried endlessly about how our sudden closeness would ruin the relationship too early. In fact, our relationship changed its pace several times and this was very nearly a reason we could have ended a few months ago.

Do you have any other housing alternatives right now?

[doppelgaenger]

You gotta start young and fresh.. but really, that's wayyy too much dick for an 18 year old girl. She's already had 1 STD. Isn't that a bit of a red flag, that she doesn't take good care of herself? I mean, come on. Use your senses man. She is a one-night girl if anything.

[CraigQQ]

The STD was really my fault, it was my best friend who gave it to her and i knew what he was like, she didnt.

But what you say is what worries me..

5 or 6 of them she actually was talking to before they had sex and was even in a relationship with a few, they just didn't work out.. i knew her before we got together and she loves going out getting completely wasted, we both do.

The threesome she told them no but she was so drunk she couldnt react to it, and i know both the guys that did it are tw@ts that are like that.

The others.. i dont know... shes a very pretty girl and gets herself in some extremely drunk situations where people can take advantage of her.. she says she doesn't really remember most of them.

[doppelgaenger]

Well, if you really loved and cared about her you wouldn't give a damn.

[CraigQQ]

It's not something that will affect our relationship, i just don't want to think about it.

How should i react towards the people she's been with that think i'm their friend? i've been civil to them so far, but deep down i wanna chin someone.

[IncognitoSir]

The STD was really my fault, it was my best friend who gave it to her and i knew what he was like, she didnt.
But what you say is what worries me..
5 or 6 of them she actually was talking to before they had sex and was even in a relationship with a few, they just didn't work out.. i knew her before we got together and she loves going out getting completely wasted, we both do.
The threesome she told them no but she was so drunk she couldnt react to it, and i know both the guys that did it are tw@ts that are like that.
The others.. i dont know... shes a very pretty girl and gets herself in some extremely drunk situations where people can take advantage of her.. she says she doesn't really remember most of them.

She sounds a lot like my ex gf .(we broke up jan. 1 of this year) Honestly, you guys should of never spoken of your sexual partners number in the first place. Thats the past and doesnt help anything in the relationship. At 18 and 19 years old I think both you need to still do a lot of growing up. She was using sex to boost her self esteem and you're not mature enough to handle her past sexual advetures. Now, for a lack of better words, sounds like she to be pretty loose. You guys live in a pretty small town you say so I'm sure she has quite the reputation as well. My ex also went through this phase but one thing I didnt have to deal with was actually metting her past encounters.......that would be torture. Although you do care for her a lot, if you want this to work you two need to slow things down........waaaaaaaay DOWN! 18 and 19 years old, believe me, you're just fine with 3 sexual partners. You need to decide if you can look pass the past or if it's going to be a dealbreaker. Take everything else out of the equation for now because this is the issue at hand. And the STD, yeah, NOT your fault. That's her fault and you buddies fault. Oh yeah, go get yourself tested ASAP.

[Raze]

I would get tested.

[CraigQQ]

Lol well was hoping for some advice to get it off my mind but noone seems to think this relationship is a good idea.

The moving in part is good for me, or i'll be homeless. i am not getting on with my family and i have to be out of the house in 2 months time, as the parents are moving to spain.

She got her STD cleared the second she got it, and she's really ashamed of it. Yer i should get myself tested but i dont think i need to, but i will when im out and they do those tests in club toilets.

I guess i may have made her out to be some town bike, but shes really not.. She doesn't have a reputation, believe me or i'd know. I know everyone and everything in this town lol.

Shes just had a really tough time and i guess sex made her feel better about herself.

It all happened in the space of 8 months when she finally broke up with her 4 year long boyfriend.. in 8 months she had sex with 15 people, and yes that doesnt make me happy and does give me doubts but im here to look for help and get over it.


I really don't want to lose her because of this, my life has improved soo much since meeting her.


God i'd have my face ripped off if she read this. lol

[Raze]

they do those tests in club toilets.

Ummmm.... What?

[CraigQQ]

In night clubs around essex, people often stand in the toilets offering free chlamydia tests, just piss in a pot and they send it off, and you get a result.

[girl68]

Yer i should get myself tested but i dont think i need to, but i will when im out and they do those tests in club toilets.
l

Unless you didn't touch her at all -yes, dumb dumb GET TESTED FOOL. And at a DR. not some nasty club toilet.

[lahnnabell]

How much do you end up paying for a piss test in a club bathroom? That sounds like a huge scam.

[CraigQQ]

It's free, they're from NHS.

[girl68]

You're stupid if you don't get tested by a legitimate DR.