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Thread: Do you just stop talking online if you think a fight will start?

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    aer's Avatar
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    Do you just stop talking online if you think a fight will start?

    Hi,

    My boyfriend always just stops talking online if it seems as if a fight will break out. Do a lot of guys do this? Is this his way of just trying to not make things worse?

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    So, you guys have enough arguments online to where you are noticing a pattern? Maybe you guys should stop talking online so much?

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    There are two sides to this. You got the negative side figured out. I assume you guys are far apart? Just correct me if I'm wrong about it. He might be doing this since he's not a confrontational person. So Instead of spewing lava out of his mouth while his blood is boiling, he'd rather get some quiet time to simmer down and restart the talk when he feels a little better. If what I assumed is correct, it would be more difficult for him to express things over the internet and since you're far apart, he doesn't want to rock the boat any further since it is also more difficult to mend things.
    He who laughs last, thinks the slowest

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    Yes, that is probably true... but that is also avoidance of the problem which is incredibly unhealthy.

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    I knew a lot of people who dramatically change their personality when they talked online. I'm usually redicent about conversing with a lot of people I know in real life online just because they say stuff that they would never say face to face. I had one friend who would constantly bitch at me online, but offline he was pretty nice. I would stop talking online because the problem with talking to people online is that there isn't any tone or body language. Body language comprises I think approximately 90% of communication (it's somewhere around there). Messages can be easily misinterpreted online, which causes a lot of words to be misinterpreted.

    For instance, people have been sent to court for posting messages on facebook that someone else misinterpreted. There haven't been many, but there have been a few. I hope that puts things into perspective a little better.
    I will do my best to reply with an educated, humble and honest answer. Ultimately, it is up to you whether you want to listen to my advice or ignore it completely. Sometimes, my advice may be wrong; occasionally, it will be right. Regardless, I want to do my best to give people answers they are seeking.

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    I can't speak for all men. But I, PERSONALLY, like to solve my issues instead of ignoring them.

    Because ignoring a problem won't make it go away.

    It will come up again, and the more it does, the more irritated you will get because it's BUILDING.

    Running away from a problem to avoid an argument is rather childish.

    A BETTER solution would be to find better ways to communicate.

    If you guys argue online, start talking on the phone.

    If you guys argue on the phone, try talking in person.

    If you argue in person, try writing a letter.

    If none of those work, what the hell are you still TALKING FOR? lol

    Another thing is, talk TO each other, not AT each other.

    Communicate WITHOUT the anger, or annoyance. Instead, CALMLY discuss your issues.

    If one person isn't willing to communicate, they either don't know HOW, or don't care enough to do so.

    Either way, it's not good for your relationship.

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