She flip flops often

[RFS20]

I was dating this girl for 2 years. We were great together but the last few months were long distance-hour and a half. Its been 2 months since we broke up- mostly because of distance and not making enough time to see her. I cut off contact until a few weeks ago because i didn't want to be desperate and wanted to let her miss me, which she did. She told me this through a few text messages. However, she was still resistant to the idea of seeing each other because she was not emotionally ready and did not want to rush back in- to which i agreed, we should take it slow. Last week I was down in her neighborhood for work and we got dinner, drinks, and spent the night together. Right away we rekindled everything it was clear we really care for each other. Since then everything has been great. Then last night she told me she felt we were going too fast and there was no in-between for us, we cant just see each other and act like friends because of our feelings for one another. She also said she thinks she should just focus on school and work right now. Basically what I am asking is-what should i do now? I support her idea of going to school, I am in grad school/ working full time myself and I understand that our schedules will be constrained, I just believe that if you love someone enough you make it work. In the end it will pay off in the long run and your relationship will be stronger if you can go through something like that. How can I convince her of that? Please tell me what to do.

Also, it should be noted that in a few months our distance will only be 30 min. from each other. She will be in Manhattan and I will be in the Bronx.

I appreciate all the advice i can get.

[kitkitkitty]

if you're gona be closer in a few months...i'd say take her advice and take it slowly. you don't need to label your situation together even though sometimes it helps people understand what's going on. give yourselves room for school/ work but keep in touch, see how things go and you'll find each other again soon. just be patient and good luck.

[adam95]

yeah give it time. you're gonna be closer to each other soon. just keep going how its going at the moment. it will be clearer soon.

[xxazurexx]

I don't get it. She has feelings but isn't emotionally ready and wants to take it slow.

Maybe it's just me, but when I really like someone, I like to see them every opportunity I get and don't mind moving at the speed it's going.

The only time I go slow, is if it's in it's early days and he's rushing, while I'm still in the process of 'feeling' him out.

[kitkitkitty]

maybe cos it hurts when theyre further apart cos it's a different situation. she maybe doesn't wana be too forward incase something happens during that time and she doesn't wana get her hopes up. just a thought.

[xxazurexx]

She also said she thinks she should just focus on school and work right now. Basically what I am asking is-what should i do now? I support her idea of going to school, I am in grad school/ working full time myself and I understand that our schedules will be constrained, I just believe that if you love someone enough you make it work. In the end it will pay off in the long run and your relationship will be stronger if you can go through something like that. How can I convince her of that? Please tell me what to do.

When you start having to 'convince' people that it's the right to go, you have a 'problem'.....

Sorry, but I just don't think she is as invested in this as you are.