Girlfriend Intimacy problems....... Don't know what to do.

[JonDoe]

I guess I'll get right to the point. My girlfriend and I have been together 4 1/2 months. She is 22 and I'm 28. We practically live together. We are best friends and practically do everything together. I love her so much I want to marry her. It's honestly a feeling I have never had before. She is beautiful, caring, has a great family, and truly just an all around great person. I kind of feel weird saying this but I don't want to talk about it with the people closest to me and I can't talk to her about it anymore because she gets mad and annoyed.

So here we go...

When we first started dating we were having sex quite often. Then it started hurting her for roughly the first 5 seconds just when we started to have sex, then didn't hurt after we started. I'm assuming it was because of my size. I know she hasn't had sex with many people and I'm well above average when it comes to size. She's been to multiple doctors and they told her to use KY but that doesn't seem to help all the time. She says it feels like someone is "stabbing her with a knife".

Now we are only having sex 3-5 times a month now. Another problem is she is always kissing me but never making out because she says it will always lead to sex. She also doesn't even want me to go down on her and seems to not be in the mood ever. I feel like I am always trying to start it or have to be more aggressive (in a fun, kind way though) then I like to be. Anyway, I don't know what to do. I know she loves me because I can see it in her eyes. We also already talk about marriage and officially moving in together.

Am I missing something here? I don't want want this to come between us but it really gives me a weird feeling. I don't know why she doesn't want to be intimate. I would think she would want to have sex every day, or at least 3-5 times a week, not month.

Anyway, I'm posting this here because I would like another girls opinion even though I feel weird posting this here. I just can't talk to her about it because she gets extremely annoyed.

Also, on a side note, we are always cuddling, holding hands, loyal, and having fun together.

[alwaystryin]

I wonder if there are any problems that run in her family as far as the womens' reproductive health. I know that endometriosis or cysts and fibroids can cause pain during intercourse. Does she feel that her GYN is thorough? I had similar problems years ago when I was younger. My mom had problems that are genetic and my Dr. also found cysts. Your size could definitely be an issue. My first boyfriend was very well endowed and I had the same problem your gf is complaining about. It may be that there is something there and you are irritating her or hitting her where it hurts so to speak. Cysts and fibroids can be difficult to locate and cysts can come and go. They could also put pressure on other parts of the body like the bowels and lower intestines not to mention they can be hiding in the walls of the uterus. Maybe she should try a second opinion from another Dr. It may be that she doesn't want to talk about it because she went to the Dr., he didn't find anything and she is discouraged thinking there is no help for her. Not to mention she may not like disappointing you and may feel bad that she cannot enjoy sex herself. Is this a problem she's always had? If so, definitely second opinion time. Sex normally shouldn't be painful so long as all is well, if it is, it's a sign of something going on. It sucks to be afraid of having sex. I hope she can find help and get past this. She's lucky to have your loving support.

As far as bringing it up, maybe show her some info you've pulled up online as to what could cause pain like that and tell her you're genuinely concerned, that maybe she should see a different doctor. Good luck to both of you.

[lahnnabell]

I'm surprised her doctor didn't want to do any tests. There are plenty of medical reasons that might explain why sex is so painful for her that she avoids it, and it's probably time for her to start asking those questions. Seems like she might be avoiding getting those answers out of fear.

If she won't open up and talk to you then there isn't much you can do. It's her body. Keep in mind, this type of miscommunication so early on will mean that you'll have plenty of complications when you try to talk about other serious issues with her. You're still in the honeymoon period, so the lovey-dovey stuff will eventually wain.

Hold off on the marriage and cohabitation talk until you two can figure out if you'll even like each other after the magic wears off.

[hurt_confuzd]

Have you considered the possibility that her pain might not be the result of your length, but maybe your width? It's probably so thin that the whole "being stabbed with a knife" thing isn't all that inaccurate. Where do you think "Needle Dick" came from?

Protip: Learn foreplay.

[JonDoe]

Thanks for the responses. She has been to multiple doctors and it isn't a cyst but the doctors don't know what it is. I think we're going to try one final doctor and go together to see what we can figure out. Also, she use to be open about it but now I know it's just frustrating her because she says she wants to be intimate as much as I do but she just can't take the pain. Thanks again for your guys support. Hopefully we can get this worked out.

[Gigabitch]

Lube doesn't even help, really? I think it's pretty weird that sex was fine at first but then it started to hurt after you'd had sex many times.

It sounds to me like she just simply doesn't like sex, at least not with you. Sure, she wants to be "intimate", but not sexually intimate. You've seen some MDs, but have you seen a sex therapist? Maybe it's time for that.

[kitkitkitty]

^^ i agree with Giga. if she really wanted to have sex with you, a bit of natural and shop bought lube would surely do the trick?

[Gigabitch]

What's with all these frigid girls getting with the guys packing the big sausage? It's not fair. Waste of perfectly good meat.