Should I contact her or not?

[nfgfan]

Well if you haven't read in my previous post...me and my ex of 8 months brokeup because she said she didn't feel the same way about me and thought a break was the best thing, and this was because she started feeling an attraction for a guy and she has been seeing him since are breakup but anyway...After the breakup i didn't speak to her for a month straight and then i finally text her and we meet(i told her that i will never bother you again just promise me you will read this letter), i gave her a letter with all of my feelings towards her and how i loved her and things of this nature...I'm trying to get on with my but thats beside the point, her birthday is coming up in november(if i contact her on her bday it will have been exactly a mont since i gave her the letter w/my feelings) my question is should i text her and wish her a happy b-day or better just not text her at all. I still love her and care for her, but on the same note i know there is no chance of her even considering me back as longs as she is seeing the guy she is now(sorry for the sidetrack)...but to my question should i text her w/a happy bday(this will be a way of communication and showing her i still care) or just let more time pass until she possibly contacts me or stops seeing the guy she is seeing now? The thing is i did tell her i will never bother you again when i gave her the letter, i just dont want to seem like i desperate or anything)

[abercromqt20]

don't text her. if you are thinking about what you are going to do for her next month then you aren't really trying to get over her. you gave her the letter, which spelled out all your feelings for her. now the ball is in her court. let her do with it what she will. you promised her u wouldn't bother her again if she read that letter. i'm sure she has read it. when the time comes just resist sending her that message. basically b/c if she hasn't come around by then, she probably isn't going to and that just leaves you looking desperate. best thing for you to do right now is just to move on with your life. someone else will come along..... they always do!

[nfgfan]

believe me im trying!!, things were going great and just ended... and i really care about her still(she is w/that guy right now and i feel she will never come around as long as she is with him,because she will not really think about me and the whole situation as long as she has him occuping her life, and ps (i dont think it will last with that guy, honestly, im not saying that because i want to believe it(maybe a little, lol) but honestly because he is a shity guy and i honestly I think he just want to "get some" but anyway...you think the birthday text is a bad idea, seems to desperate? Also how long does a "rebound" usually last until the girl realizes her feeling, saying she does ofcourse! approx.

[Jenrick285]

Aber kinda said most of it..
Don't text her... don't call her, email her...
You said what you had to say in your letter, it's kinda up to her.
I do kinda have to agree with the previous post, in that you should consider moving, and invest your time and effort into someone that isn't already with someone...

[nfgfan]

beleive me im trying...i hang out w/friends things are ok on the most part... when im alone at home or at work i cant get her out of my mind, therejust something telling me that i just should let her go, because she is to special of a person to let go.. and the fact that things eneded with her seeing a guy(to forget about me and keep her mind of me) with another guy right away and the fact that i dont feel she told me everything that she was feeling makes things very hard.

[Jenrick285]

It's never really easy...
But she's with another guy, you just have to remind yourself of that one, minor but singularly very important fact, and not like you two are taking a break.
Keep youself busy, force yourself to not think of her.

[blue]

no text no contact its for your own good

[nfgfan]

really...I honestly was never planning to contact her againn or maybe when her and the guy split, if i still wasn't over her, but for some reason I have a feeling(dont ask, i just do) that i should contact her on her bday, which is coming up in about a month, with a simple happy b-day, but saying i do contact her, what do you think she would take the message as, do you think she would think oh he's desperate or, maybe really does care for me, etc... ?

[bluestrattos]

My question is if you can say that you're friends ? Because if you're, I don't see any problem sending her a Birthday Card. Send her an E-Card. There's nothing wrong with a card saying "Happy Birthday", don't mix a simple event like a Birthday date, with your feelings about her. She probably read your letter, but if she didn't reply it, it's because she's not interested in you. Keep yourself busy and move on. She knows what you feel about her, if she wants, she'll talk to you.

[abercromqt20]

please don't just sit around and wait for her to break it off with this guy. I know you have this feeling its not going to work out, and you know what it probably won't. Unless they get married it's not going to work, and do u think she's ready for that?!? Anyways, just take our advice and move on. Don't wait around for her to break up with this guy and swoop back in. Do you really want to be her consolation prize? if she wanted to truely be with you she would have broken it off with him, making you first choice. but since she didn't.....down the road that really only makes you her second choice. please for your own sake don't text her. even though it sounds like to me that you've already made up your mind to do so. We are just looking out for your best interest here. i know it's hard to do sometimes, but sometimes you have to do what is best for yourself and fight your feelings. it protects you from the inevitable in the long run. In the end you are going to do what you want to do, so good luck and hope it all works out for ya!

[nfgfan]

i dont think you quite understand the whole story so i will give a little more background...week before breaking up she said she found another guy attractive(and she said she hadn't really felt that way towards anyone since being with me) so we broke up and right away she began seeing him(so in a sence i feel he is a rebound or something of such nature)(btw its only been about 30-35 days since we broke up)(also i dont know if this counts for anything but i was her first as well, and i always heard that a the first for a girl their first is someone who they really become attached to,sorry for the sidetrack)
i also do understand what you're saying about me being consolation(but i feel very strongly towards her still which is why i would still try to work things out saying it came down to that
And honestly i haven't made up my mind yet, at times i feel(i miss her so much and care for her im defintely gona text her, and then there times where i feel if she wants to contact me she will, so i shouldnt text her on her bday)
I just feel texting her on her bday(it will have been almost 2 months since are break up)may give her a push towards relazing her feelings and/or the situation and it will show her just how much i care for her...the fact that she ended it saying i feel being apart right now is for the best...so i figure 2 months later saying happy bday could mean something to her(but then again what do i know)
Also btw...
I would just like to thank everyone that has been taking the time to read and reply to this post, it really means alot to me, so thankyou

[toto]

My girlfriend recently broke with me and everything you say about the way you feel towards your g/f I've felt. Beleive me, take the time to get yourself sorted out and open your eyes. Ok you still want her back. but like others have said she left you for this other guy and if they break up and she comes back, what you had before will never be the same again.
My g/f slept with a guy days after we broke up and as much as that hurt i still wanted her back. But the more i thought about what she did and her attitude since and even before we broke up I realised that thats not the relationship i wanted and things have change between us now, and the special relationship we had (her and i together as one) was destroyed.

You need to step back form your feelings at this time and see what has happened, because to me, you are in that vacume left after a relationship ends. Its not a nice place to be and you need to force yourself to clear your head of her and as everyone says keep busy, see your mates....meet new women! You probabily dont feel ready but you might just be suprised!

Good luck

[nfgfan]

I have been reading alot of posts here where alot of people recommend to remain friends with their ex's in order to try to get them back or anything of such nature, do you think i should tell my ex im fine with being friends(in hopes of one day getting back) or should i just leave her be and let her contact me if she ever decides(especially after the letter i wrote her)

[RuntimeError]

Well nfgfan, the idea behind staying friends is that you really want to just be friends, with no deeper intentions, I have been there, I wanted to "Stay Friends" but I was just kidding myself, I wanted her back, I wanted to wait for her to tell the other guy to F*** off and I would be there waiting. I wanted to say happy birthday, and try to make amends and make sure we were still friends, what a waste of energy, you can be friends but later on in life for right now you are emotionally attached to this person. It is almost like a crackhead on crack, you are addicted to her physically being around, chemicals that your body released when she was around are no longer being released, find someone new and they well be released again. You deserve better then this, if she was your soul mate she wouldn't be with another guy, let nature take its toll, the universe will be just as it is and if you have a problem with that, you have to deal with it, because trust me the universe will do what it pleases and you can't change it. Go out find new ladies I assure you there are many more out there, our minds may make us think that they this person is the one for us but they are not, like the post further up, clear your mind, try to think about what is going on here. She has moved on and you should to. In the case that you move on and I mean really move on, don't care at all if she is screwing 10 guys at the same time, that is when something werid might happen and she might want you back, but you really have to let go and move on and it dosen't work if you fake it. I have found ladies to come back when you don't want them any more. I assure you nfgfan if she wants you she will contact you, she knows you like her beasue of the the letter.

[nfgfan]

Thanks for your post RuntimeError...your right as most of the people that posted here are, its just a matter of making myself believe you guys are right and accepting reality, but thanks again for your post