Your love is a lie, goodbye (long poem)

[blue_eyed_tiger]

Originally two poems that I made into one:

I hate the way you talk down to me,
the shabby cloths you wear.
I hate the way you pass the blame,
and when you say you care.

I hate it every time you smoke,
and talk about the past.
I hate it when you call me names,
it's never meant to last.

I hate it when you change your mind,
and all the games you play,
you never take me anywhere,
no further than the bay.

I hate the way you let me leave,
you never even tried.
I hate the way you laze around,
you swear that someone's died.

But in truth I don't hate you,
I don't hate you one bit.
All I've done is realise,
you're just a selfish git.

I don't know how it came to be,
you somehow put a spell on me.
You told me that you were my friend,
I never knew how it would end.

I gave you everything I could,
you threw it in me face and stood,
upon the key that held my sense
and took some more, every pence.

You called me names that put me down,
I tell you what though you're the clown,
for letting me just walk away,
your stupid games I will not play.

I was a fool but now I see,
you won't be coming back to me.
No my friend, I'll make sure,
next time you'll be out the door.

I miss you now but times will change,
I'll move on soon and turn the page,
with someone new who loves me back,
for more then just times in the sack.

So goodbye, I bid farewell.
It seems to me you broke the spell.
My time with you is at its end,
I'm fine now, yes I'm on the mend.


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Any comments would be appreciated.

[IndiReloaded]

My first thought was how bitter it sounded with all the "I hate" but I loved the way you turned it positive at the end. Like a beam of sunlight piercing the storm clouds. The only comment I have on that theme is to flip the last two sentences. Good job.

[blue_eyed_tiger]

IndiReloaded, done the sentences flipped Thanks for your thoughts guys!

[KimberlyH]

I love it!!

[krystal]

nice love poem!!

[cuttingcrew]

Very cliche use of vocab.

[Macrinus88]

Yes very cliche use of vocab

[yobiwoo]

very nice poem