i hit my gf today

[IndiReloaded]

You have probably done the one thing that might actually give you a chance to recover from your mistake. I didn't post this earlier, b/c I thought you should make your decision for your own reasons, but what tends to happen in these cases (if the woman stays) is that eventually she gets strong enough in herself to dump you. At that point, there is no going back even if you do a complete 180 b/c staying with you will only remind her of her weakness.

This way, you can work on yourselves. Perhaps find each other again in future, or not, but that really doesn't matter. Actually, once you have both done some work I would suggest you date other people. You will see relationships differently with your new perspective and you two may decide you are simply not good for each other. Nothing wrong with that. Good luck to you both.

[lahnnabell]

When I was younger, I used to have the beginning of what I would call "anger management issues". I used to feel myself grow hot with anger so fierce that I wanted to hit something. It is an immature response to seemingly insurmountable problems. Like when you would get sent to your room and then throw something in anger. It was a method of retaliating against circumstances you had no control over. If we are not taught how to manage this at a young age, it blossoms into something worse as time goes on. Especially if you see a parent exhibiting this behavior. My father used to get so angry that he would scream in my face until I cried. Only when I started crying would he stop. It took me a long time to learn, but I realized that part of my anger issues came from my family's acceptance of how my father behaved. He was head of the household, which, our eyes, made what he did okay when it shouldn't have been okay.

Though it happened rarely, I remember the last time I flipped out on someone. It was my ex and we were arguing about something before bed one night. I flew into a rage and started slamming my hands on the bed repeatedly. I don't even remember what the issue was, but I remember I scared the hell out of my ex and myself. I never wanted to feel like that again, so I began to take steps to better myself. It takes a lot of self-awareness to be able to admit to your true nature and to be able to face it. And it takes a while to sort it all out.

[Charlie Boy II]

That does suck, but she did pester the guy to become more dominant, encouraged rough sex with hitting and swearing, and deliberately riled him up so he'd be rough with her. I'm not saying she deserved, of course, it but it seems she played a role. I can see how the lines might become blurred.

[adam95]

You have probably done the one thing that might actually give you a chance to recover from your mistake. I didn't post this earlier, b/c I thought you should make your decision for your own reasons, but what tends to happen in these cases (if the woman stays) is that eventually she gets strong enough in herself to dump you. At that point, there is no going back even if you do a complete 180 b/c staying with you will only remind her of her weakness.

This way, you can work on yourselves. Perhaps find each other again in future, or not, but that really doesn't matter. Actually, once you have both done some work I would suggest you date other people. You will see relationships differently with your new perspective and you two may decide you are simply not good for each other. Nothing wrong with that. Good luck to you both.

yeah, i don't think i would've had any chance if she was the one who left me. anyway we decided on taking it real slow and staying friends. who knows what will happen? we might see other people, im not ruling it out.
thanks a lot for your advice indi, really helped me out.

Though it happened rarely, I remember the last time I flipped out on someone. It was my ex and we were arguing about something before bed one night. I flew into a rage and started slamming my hands on the bed repeatedly. I don't even remember what the issue was, but I remember I scared the hell out of my ex and myself. I never wanted to feel like that again, so I began to take steps to better myself. It takes a lot of self-awareness to be able to admit to your true nature and to be able to face it. And it takes a while to sort it all out.

yeah i hated how i felt when i did it. i honestly didn't know how to react. don't know if i've ever been more ashamed in my life. i was real embarrassed to post this up but i just really need some good advice cause i know if it was me, i wouldve forced staying with her and just ruin it more.

That does suck, but she did pester the guy to become more dominant, encouraged rough sex with hitting and swearing, and deliberately riled him up so he'd be rough with her. I'm not saying she deserved, of course, it but it seems she played a role. I can see how the lines might become blurred.

yeah but i shouldnt have gone out of control. oh well, i hope this anger management classes work. i miss her so much

[hurt_confuzd]

I flew into a rage and started slamming my hands on the bed repeatedly.

Picturing this made me laugh uncontrollably. If your post only contained this line, I definitely would have thanked it.

Wait, no, I wouldn't. My stomach hurts, now. Really badly.

hey guys, here i am again asking for advice. anyway heres the situation. my gf came over to my place today and ever since I discovered she likes it rough in bed, we do it rough. rough to the extreme including swearing beating, everything. anyway after it all, i couldn't seem to get it out of my system and i was still really angry. she was simply being stubborn over something stupid (which she does all the time just to bug me) and I hit her right across her face.

So wait. Why is it acceptable to beat her in the bedroom, but not everywhere else in the world? I haven't gotten this yet.

And why does that mean you need anger management? I definitely would have tried to get away with as much as possible.

[adam95]

well what i do in the bedroom isn't as painful. when i hit her, i literally struck her. when i met her yesterday, half her face was bruised and swollen

[hurt_confuzd]

well what i do in the bedroom isn't as painful. when i hit her, i literally struck her. when i met her yesterday, half her face was bruised and swollen

Holy shìt! Other than posting this hilarious picture, I must say that you, sir, need anger management.

[adam95]

congrats on making me feel more crappy
where do you get this stuff anyway?

and yes we have all come to that conclusion that i need help.

[ShannonMI]

I'm glad you broke up with her and you are going to get help. Some men that do these things, don't think they need help or have a problem. They blame the women for pushing them to do it. You recognize that you DO need the help. Good for you. I wish you luck.

[ShannonMI]

Holy shìt! Other than posting this hilarious picture, I must say that you, sir, need anger management.

How is this picture of a girl with a bruised face helping^^^^? That's completely rude. It certainly isn't a "hilarious picture." Maybe you need help as well, Dude.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

The picture is hilarious. You just have to take it with a grain of salt and not get you panties in a wad so easily.

[ShannonMI]

The picture is hilarious. You just have to take it with a grain of salt and not get you panties in a wad so easily.

I don't wear panties, so no "wad" problems going on here. The picture is totally inappropiate. The OP is trying to seek help and advice on a very touchy subject and a picture like that isn't exactly helpful.

[lahnnabell]

Holy shìt! Other than posting this hilarious picture, I must say that you, sir, need anger management.

This particular poster usually doesn't care to actually help anyone with their issues. He posts anti-social nonsense because he likes to shock people into believing he's somehow unaffected by the world.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I'll agree that, in this discussion, it is totally inappropriate. It does nothing but bring more guilt to the OP without helping him solve the problem.

However, don't take it out on the picture which, in and of itself, is hilarious.

[ShannonMI]

I'll agree that, in this discussion, it is totally inappropriate. It does nothing but bring more guilt to the OP without helping him solve the problem.

However, don't take it out on the picture which, in and of itself, is hilarious.

This pic may be "hilarious" to you, but it shouldn't be posted here. I'm not taking it out on the pic, I'm taking it out on the person that posted it. The person that posted it has a brain, the pic does not. Someone with a relatively functioning brain should realize a picture like that is inappropiate in a place like this, regardless if it's "hilarious" to them or not. End of story.